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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband booked a holiday,I don't want to do,aibu?

605 replies

breadbreadwine · 22/05/2021 10:44

My husband has booked a holiday for the half term.
I thought fab,just what we need...till he told me he has bought a 6 man tent and we are going away to Scotland for a week in a tent.
He's booked a parkdene tent holiday.
It was £155 for 4 of us and he has paid £700 for a tent.
He has bought sleeping bags,fridge etc
He said it's to save money.

Aibu here ?
A week in a tent in Scotland with 2 kids who don't sleep anyway.
I'm not high maintenance but I'm worried about the toilet /shower situation

I'm not happy

OP posts:
Therealjudgejudy · 22/05/2021 12:22

Sounds like my idea of hell op. However my partner has respect for me and wouldn't dream of booking something like this...or spending so much without consulting me first.

That's why we are partners

rookiemere · 22/05/2021 12:22

I love those who are coming up with suggestions to make it more tolerable - inflatable sofas, air beds, twinkly lights etc. etc. - thus spending even more on this white elephant of a holiday.

DH likes camping and I've tried it a couple of times and it's not for me, mainly as whilst he's prepared to spend a fortune on sleeping bags and air mattresses, he's not prepared to compromise on the one thing that would actually make a huge difference to me which is a portable toilet as I go to the loo at least twice a night and having to get up, unzip tent, put on crocs, stumble to toilet block is not appealing. The last few times I almost gave myself a UTI by not drinking anything from about 6pm.

WildfirePonie · 22/05/2021 12:25

Are you going to go? What would happen if you say you aren't going?

Rave2thegrave · 22/05/2021 12:25

Did you just let him book it, without getting info or did he book and then tell you. I don’t do camping unless its one night in my garden.

Tistheseason17 · 22/05/2021 12:25

Hellz noooooooo!
You could get 7 nights in a family room at a B&B for less!
I would be taking the tent and equipment back and not going.

Thank god my DH hates camping as much as I do.

Rave2thegrave · 22/05/2021 12:25

He can take all the camping stuff back... you could take a hit on campsite fees

osbertthesyrianhamster · 22/05/2021 12:26

@Therealjudgejudy

Sounds like my idea of hell op. However my partner has respect for me and wouldn't dream of booking something like this...or spending so much without consulting me first.

That's why we are partners

This.
Rave2thegrave · 22/05/2021 12:26

@frazzledasarock

Wave them all off and have a relaxing time at home.

That’s what I’d do if DH ever books a camping trip. I don’t do camping, he knows it.

I wouldn’t stop him going with the children though

This
katy1213 · 22/05/2021 12:28

Wave him off - and book a couple of days for yourself somewhere more civilised.
He's going to have a great week camping as a single dad.
That'll teach him to consult you next time!

Horehound · 22/05/2021 12:30

It sounds fun to me but it doesn't matter what any of us think ...the issue is he didn't discuss it. Why didn't he?!

Middersweekly · 22/05/2021 12:32

I can’t believe he booked the holiday and bought a whole massive £700 tent and accessories without having any discussion with you first. The weather conditions in Scotland are also less than ideal for camping especially with young kids! I’d tell him he can go on his Todd and book a 4* hotel somewhere nice!

Lollypop4 · 22/05/2021 12:33

@katy1213

Wave him off - and book a couple of days for yourself somewhere more civilised. He's going to have a great week camping as a single dad. That'll teach him to consult you next time!
I'd do this!!
NeverDropYourMoonCup · 22/05/2021 12:40

He needs to put the tent up now, as there's a good chance it's missing part of the kit and he'll have to file a PayPal claim. After all, that'll be worse, to find out it's missing a pole or the bit that literally keeps the rain out bitter experience from a brand new 3 person tent from bastarding Blacks Camping Section once you're on site. And he'll quickly realise he can't put it up by himself anyhow.

If he refuses, I suggest like the others that he takes the kids off for a lovely Daddy-Child bonding experience, but instead of staying at home, you book yourself into somewhere nice to enjoy by yourself. Somewhere with a real roof and a proper bed, unlike the shitty things that masquerade as a bed with mattress in caravans.

KatharinaRosalie · 22/05/2021 12:40

I had a boyfriend once who booked a skiing holiday for us without discussing it with me first. What we had discussed was that a)I don't ski, b) I never want to learn to ski, c) I hate cold and snow and d) I always, always want to go somewhere warm with a beach for my winter holiday.

He was most put out that I wasn't thrilled and kept saying how other people would be so grateful. I told him to go date those other people then.

Mustreadabook · 22/05/2021 12:43

I think it sounds great, but it was unreasonable of him to book it without asking first.

GreenClock · 22/05/2021 12:50

It doesn’t matter what mumsnetters think of the hol. The problem here is the husband’s high-handed behaviour. That is what needs to be addressed. Don’t be passive OP.

Barbie222 · 22/05/2021 12:52

Wave them all off and have a relaxing time at home.

Exactly! The tent will be on eBay before they all arrive back home.

KatherineJaneway · 22/05/2021 12:52

YANBU.

I hate camping so I simply would not go.

Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 22/05/2021 12:58

I might book to go away with a friend that week, OP. Chances are they'll be traipsing sadly back home a couple of days into the holiday when cooking on a stove, communal loos, drizzling rain and damp sleeping-bags have lost their charm. You don't want them interrupting your holiday for one.

me4real · 22/05/2021 12:58

Not ok.

A lot of people don't like camping- and that's fine. A lot of people prefer different locations.

@breadbreadwine Could it be cancelled and something arranged that you think would make a more pleasant holiday and that he agrees to?

Was it some money of his own he's spent on the tent? Spending money that's usually used as family money without telling you, to the amount of £700, is not ok. Large purchases should be agreed by you both.

ThinWomansBrain · 22/05/2021 13:00

he is probably thinking of all the times the tent will be used on future trips.
Don't go if you don't want to. DH can enjoy camping with the children, you can organise something you want to do, or relax and enjoy being at home without childcare/housework/cooking for everyone...
OK - that's an assumption that you generally pick up the brunt of home/child care- but he sounds pretty selfish.

Enjoy YOUR holiday.

ZenNudist · 22/05/2021 13:01

I'm not a camper but if dh actually sorted out a holiday I'd go. I'd be stunned!

It will be an experience. Tell him that if you are having a horrid time you will have to leave early.

Longdistance · 22/05/2021 13:03

Oh my days! Your dh is a twat. My dh would never book a holiday without my input.
It’s a waste of money.

myhobbyisouting · 22/05/2021 13:05

£700 for a second hand tent? Wowzers.

If he can return the tent get him to do it immediately.

kitkat463 · 22/05/2021 13:09

700 for an ebay tent is extortionate. You can get a brand new air poles tent for 6 for less than that! Under distance selling regs surely you can return it. However, if you go get decent camping mats, the ones that are foam and air, take lots of covers, you might love it. Is a beautiful part of the world.

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