Husband booked a holiday,I don't want to do,aibu?

[breadbreadwine]

My husband has booked a holiday for the half term.
I thought fab,just what we need...till he told me he has bought a 6 man tent and we are going away to Scotland for a week in a tent.
He's booked a parkdene tent holiday.
It was £155 for 4 of us and he has paid £700 for a tent.
He has bought sleeping bags,fridge etc
He said it's to save money.

Aibu here ?
A week in a tent in Scotland with 2 kids who don't sleep anyway.
I'm not high maintenance but I'm worried about the toilet /shower situation

I'm not happy

I like camping but in Scotland it will probably be freezing. Also I took my DC to a Park Dean holiday park one half term. Never again. I would rather pay more and get better facilities/entertainment.

How strange not to get your opinion before booking a holiday and buying a tent!

You should have a great time but, seriously, speak to your local Avon agent to get some SSS cream (skin so softly) - it has a special ingredient that fights off midgies (Scottish mosquitoes).

What do you think he would say if you went and booked an equivalent priced holiday using family money without asking him?

Oh - one which you knew he would hate?

And one which he'd have to do all the work for?

Unthinkable? Yup.

@kimmsutt

You should have a great time but, seriously, speak to your local Avon agent to get some SSS cream (skin so softly) - it has a special ingredient that fights off midgies (Scottish mosquitoes).

Ha. Didn't work on me. Only Jungle does.

It's pouring rain here and that's set to continue all through the week on and off. It's also cold.

When my DH and I were both out of work, we once borrowed a tent (and other items) to take the DC camping, so they could still have a holiday.
It was hard work, although the DC loved it. I found it a bit traumatic.
I would not want to buy for the simple reason that unless you go to a campsite where it is all set up, you have to take so much stuff with you, and probably only really worthwhile if you intend to do so regularly.
Generally, a self-catering holiday works out much easier all round.

@Coffeepot72

My idea of a holiday, is to stay in somewhere that's just as nice, or nicer, than my home. Anything else would be categorised as "endurance/survival."

Yep, me too. I occasionally stay in fairly basic accommodation, but only for a few nights when visiting somewhere gorgeous of the beaten track (e.g when driving through Swaziland, or Death Valley) and that is the best accommodation available. I don’t really get paying to go on holiday to stay somewhere less comfortable than my home without a very good reason. I do though, respect that we’re all different and enjoy different things.

Thanks to this thread I'm re reading The Tent The Bucket and Me by Emma Kennedy about her childhood camping trips in the 70s and 80s with her parents. I remember crying with laughter last time I read it. 🤣

That sounds like hell on earth to me.

I dont have any advice :(. I am just here to say you are not alone...

We just got a greyhound few months ago ( he istantly bought it home after telling me a day before). I love dogs ( he knows I will care for it anyway without him being involved). I love my dog. He will be family and thats that.

Now, he tells me at 11:30pm ( I am already alseep), that he has got a cottage just now in Isle of Raasey and has booked it. Morning, he has no clue how to drive with our dog for 15+ hrs or has a plan how we will manage for 7 days with a roof bag which would fit a 2 night self catering.
He says 'its going to be fine' ... how do I beleive?. He says I am too controlling to want to see the plan.

I usually do holiday booking and its planned until the last disposable spoon. Thats how I am. I need to feel ok!. I have told him his booking was a very bad decission and inconsiderate and his 'it will be fine' is even more inconsiderate. He is in the drama king mode and I am ignoring it.

I didnt do this sort of questioning when he impulsively bought a SECOND 6 seater sofa set with tea table and just dumped it at home. Its still sitting there useless. He bought it because it was on sale, a second effing sofa.

I am so sorry to rant in your thread.

To your question, hellno! yanbu!. Refuse to go.

Mumincloud
Can you book your dog into kennels?

So he goes on his own, Mum. He'll stop doing it if you stop going along with it. And poor dog! Fuck him. Put the sofa for collection on a local site.

OP has left the building...

I could, but he insists we have 'quality time' as a family, 2 adults+2kids+dog.... I cant let his lack of planning ruin things for everyone... I have refused outright because he just assumes everyone sits in the car without taking needed breaks for 14+ hours... because 'I worry too much and its ok'...

I am sure if we end up stranded ( missed ferry etc) he will just ask us to adjust with a 'sorry' and expect us to sleep in the car...

He is a positive person over all but some tomes to my misery, stupidly optimistic and he beleived if he plans 25% of it, the universe will plan the rest of it. He genuinely thinks this assuming that we will have a perfect family hoilday.

Thats because he never knew a bad holiday as I am the one who does it, this time its him and he first books and then checks where the actual place is and dosnt care how we are going to get there. He has booked a place which says 'party size' is 3. He argues they are asking about adults. I would say party size is 4( even 5).

He has the capacity to forget all his spontaneous bad decissions and remember only the lucky ones. I remember both. I am now speaking for the dog because its NOT fair on him to bear the consequences of his owner being inconsiderate.

I want to book small easy ones and then slowly increase the duration. I too want to take dog to forest walks, beach holidays and hike with him. I want the dog to be with us but not sacrifice anything from its side... he needs a proper lazy life!

Sorry, I dont feel good that this thread is becoming about me . Sorry OP, I see you have decided to go.
Good lick then, let is know how it went...people like me can use some perspective on these type of guys.

Luck

Yes, yes you can, Mum. You stand up for the bloody dog and not the 2 kids? You're not ruining anything. He is for being an inconsiderate twat. Fuck his 'insistence', why are you forcing your kids to endure this type of crap, much less the dog?

He sounds exactly like the OP's h, because he, too, has been enabled. No stops on the road because he doesn't like it? No fuck that arsehole behaviour.

You're showing the kids that the Mighty Peen comes from. He is the alpha and all must worship at his altar, that your role is to enable The Great I Am.

Why on Earth are you doing this to your kids?

If your garden is big enough, get him to put the tent up and spend a night in it with the kids as a practice run.
I doubt you’ll be going then haha

@osbertthesyrianhamster ... the kids, yes I am also speaking for them. They will have some sort of enetrrtainment from him thou. I must admit he has taken them to various things that Inwouldnt and they came back enjoying them.

But this time yes, I am speaking for everyone who will be having a bad time if his plan dosnt work and I dont see how it will.
I cant beleive people just pay without asking and then guilt trip the rest to join their type of fun. I will be sad to lose the deposit etc but what do I do?!

If we get back the money then I will book what I feel fun and good for everyone and I always do it with him beside me looking at everything I am looking at.
I am not as accomodating as the OP but different lives so its ok.

I’d let him take the kids and tell him that next time those kinds of decisions need to be made together!!
Neither I nor my husband would even consider making a decision like that without consulting each other. I’d be livid.
If you can get over that... after some ‘words’ ... camping holidays can be great fun with children and all the fresh air and exercise usually means everyone sleeps well.

I will be sad to lose the deposit

Sunk cost fallacy. The deposit is already gone. You will not get it back whether you go or not. So do not even take this into consideration when deciding what to do. And there's no need IMO to spend more money and effort on something you don't want to do.

It’s a no from me.

NB. You can sell tents on eBay as well as buy them.

How is it going OP? Did you go and if so was it a gamble and win?