We have been together for nearly 2 years. The first year was great and it still can be now. When we are good we are really good, when we are not it is shit.
Through lockdown it has been hard. I had to work from home and he was doing shifts on site. For the most we worked round this. There was a clash as he was still continuing to see people at work, where I spent all week on my own, locked in 4 walls. We are both tired.
He moved in for the first lockdown. As part of this, we moved his dog in.
The dog- the dog is 17 years old, blind, deaf, has parkinsons, arthritis and while not incontinent, basically pisses wherever he wants at any time. It stinks-not just doggy smell, really old pungent dog smell.
I cannot handle that. I am not sure many people could. To have your kitchen soaked in urine and be constantly cleaning up. I tried nappies (the special dog ones) but just spent my day taking it off and on to allow him to go outside. At night it was saturated and the sofas where he slept also had to be washed daily. It was exhausting and couldnt go on. The final straw was when he went to attack me- this was shortly before he had a stroke, so I accept the aggression was part of that.
Over subsequent lockdowns we were able to form a bubble so OH stayed at home with the dog and we saw each other at the weekend.
Now it has reached a point that at the weekend he comes round for a few hours at a time, but has to go back to the dog every few hours. For example, he will come round late Friday night, stay the night, we are both up early I go shopping or out for a few hours while he spends time with the dog, I will pick him up at lunchtime, we have the afternoon, he goes back to the dog for an hour or 2, then comes back here to sleep. So this continues. In the few hours he is at my house I have to do his washing, ironing and cook for him, so I actually don't see him very much and am tired from it. I work all week and get no rest at the weekend.
I used to work in animal rescue and love animals. I am fully aware the dog is in a bad way and the kindest thing now would be euthanasia, but OH will not consider that. He clamps down and just says 'he is my mate' (like that is ok?). I cannot tell him to put the dog down as that is not my decision.
AIBU?
I feel I am being put 2nd place behind a dog. I feel rejected and like I have to compete for OH attention. I do everything to make OH life easier (hence the cooking, washing etc) but he treats it like a hotel. Even when here is sitting thinking of the dog so I have guilt I am taking him away from it (I dread the day the dog has nother stroke while OH is here. I will be guilted because he wasn't there).
This isn't normal behaviour.
AIBU?