To be mad at the lie?

[3scape]

My DH has made an auction purchase consisting of a large number of scale models. This is fine, something he's recently got into, hobbies are great. He is very pleased they were significantly under priced. He's cleaned them up and sent off photos he's been taking to sales sites and is definitely on track to make a profit and keep some for himself. All good.

But.

He told me he spent £150. He spent more actually £340. I found out in conversation with a friend who had seen the results of the auction prices. He will still make a profit. He can spend his hobby money how he chooses.

I'm going to have to talk to him about this. He's at work until Sunday.

I am really gutted that he's lied to me in this way. If you can lie about this trivial thing I guess anything might be bullshit? Is that extreme though? Do people lie about hobby costs?

Yeah it's not that you don't have the right to be annoyed. That's up to you. It's your catastrophising that this means he will lie about important stuff that's out of kilter with reality. Try to address how this lie makes you feel and why he did it without getting angry about a whole other betrayal that is only in your head

I've accepted apparently this is a relationship thing. Lieing about hobbies further up.

Not in mine it’s not. My DH is a golfer and I’m a crafter, so we both spend a lot of money on our respective hobbies. I don’t care if he spends a bloody fortune on a single club (to be fair, he’s very responsible with money and bills etc always come first). What I do care about is having absolute openness between us. I’m supposed to be able to trust him more than anyone else. If he tells me a single lie about the money we share, then that trust is gone, for absolutely no good reason. I don’t ever lie to him about how much I spend either.

I don’t blame you for being really cheesed off about this. It’s such an utterly pointless lie. And now the next time he talks to you about money you’ll be questioning whether or not he’s telling you the truth.