Do I help my son with this silly purchase? Or chalk it up to experience?

[StopSayingDueDiligence]

My sons 10th birthday, he got some money.

He went out to play with friends and came home wearing a black-ish cheap tacky chain.
I asked him where he got it and it was his friend/bully kid that lives near here, also 10.

He charged him £16 for it.
It is worth about £4-5 brand new. It's no type of metal. I know because DS was pointing out which one he wanted on Amazon.

It certainly isn't worth £16.

We called the kid, I spoke to him on Ds's phone explained that DS had made a mistake and could he swap back? This was about 20 minutes after the purchase happened.

He agreed to bring it to school the next day.

He hasn't and now making excuses and refusing to give the money back.

Ordinarily I would pop by and see the mum.
Except the mum and Nan are not nice people and I've had to block them on all social media. They are basically adult bullies and deeply unpleasant.

Should I chalk it up to experience (my eldest made a similar mistake at the same age) or be a wuss and send DH round?

Without meaning to sound overly harsh, I'm not sure why you decided to get involved at all? Your son knew how much the boy wanted for it, decided he was happy to pay that and bought it? Why should the other boy have to give it back because you decided that he paid too much? It was his money to do with as he wants. I would use it as a lesson, next time shop about and look online to see if you can get it cheaper.

I wouldn't get involved for such a small amount of money. The important thing is teaching your ds the lesson here. Sometimes these things can't be corrected so he has to be careful.

Seriously PP the boy is 10 that’s why his mum is involved. It might be one to chalk up to experience and also a lesson for your son to avoid the boy who did this deal with him. For you it might be worth the financial loss if it means your DS will steer clear of the bully.

Fuck that shit. I would go and demand the money. Entitled twats like this will be the ones growing up tarmacking your nans drive for 20k
Someone needs to show them it’s not right

How did DS feel about his purchase before you told him it was a poor deal ? Presumably he was happy enough with it ? Unless he was coerced into buying it, I think you should have stayed out of it or just warned him not to do it again in the future.

I'd chalk it up to experience and encourage DS to not go out with £20 in his pockets (unless he is specifically going to buy something that he's talked to you about, from a shop).

Yep, experience. He should not, at 10, be going out with money on him unless he is going to the shops.

Maybe this will help him understand friends and those that will shaft you for cash.

If he's happy with his new chain then you don't need to do anything.
If he's regretting it then you teach him a lesson about considering the value of something before buying it, and that if you buy from someone on the street you are unlikely to be able to return it, in a shop with a receipt you have consumer rights, etc.

It's not that much money to an adult.

It is to a 10 year old.

Maybe this will help him understand friends and those that will shaft you for cash.

This ^ wot @TeaAlwaysTea

Again, not taking money out guards against all sorts of mistakes. Sorry. Chalk this one up to experience.

@Taliskerskye

Fuck that shit. I would go and demand the money. Entitled twats like this will be the ones growing up tarmacking your nans drive for 20k Someone needs to show them it’s not right

Bloody hell! The other boy involved is also 10. You are talking about a child!

Well, does he like the chain?

Does he know that they were only £5 on Amazon?
I'd let it go. He needs to learn and better to learn now when he's only 10 and only been ripped off for £10 than when he's older and for a lot more money. .

I don't understand why a ten year old was playing with £16 cash. .. i would say harsh lesson in life.

I think you put it down to experience however what was your son doing taking the money ‘out to play ‘ ?

Put it down to experience and don't let him out to play with money again

Chalk it up - it’s a valuable lesson. My dd was similarly pressured by a friends to spend more than she wanted on both of them. We got her a go Henry card with limits on (we we could change up and down any time), which helped her feel confident to say no. When she was past this stage then the limits were removed, but it did help her to feel she could manage her money better for that period of time

Why did you let your 10 year old go out to play with that much money? Not a very wise decision.

Send DH round.

You chalk it up to experience. If you let a 10yo out with friends and money, this will happen.

Your ds did get ripped off, but you could argue that the excess price paid was for immediate delivery. Plus the money wasn’t stolen, it was willingly given.

You would be out of your mind to get involved in a spat with the mum/Nan who you have already stated are bullies.

Well.it's a good, though expensive, lesson for your DS (and for you).
Use it well to teach him about the value of money, and of friendship. And for yourself perhaps control his access to cash more firmly for the time being. If he hasn't got a savings account yet, maybe help him to set one up.

I am going to go against the majority.

Bullies bully, it is what they do. There was probably a fair bit of pressure put on your son to do this ‘swap’.

If your husband is happy to go round, send him round.

chalk it up to experience. My teenager lost over £50 on a scam website. He now knows how to check a website is legit.

This is how they learn the value of money.

In our house they can buy what they like with their pocket money, but we have a household rule about waiting a few days to see if you still want it.

I’d chalk it up to experience personally. I know it isn’t exactly the same but my DS made some poor decisions with Pokemon cards when he was into that and he ended up with lots of fakes. He learnt his lesson.