Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I help my son with this silly purchase? Or chalk it up to experience?

114 replies

StopSayingDueDiligence · 20/05/2021 15:59

My sons 10th birthday, he got some money.

He went out to play with friends and came home wearing a black-ish cheap tacky chain.
I asked him where he got it and it was his friend/bully kid that lives near here, also 10.

He charged him £16 for it.
It is worth about £4-5 brand new. It's no type of metal. I know because DS was pointing out which one he wanted on Amazon.

It certainly isn't worth £16.

We called the kid, I spoke to him on Ds's phone explained that DS had made a mistake and could he swap back? This was about 20 minutes after the purchase happened.

He agreed to bring it to school the next day.

He hasn't and now making excuses and refusing to give the money back.

Ordinarily I would pop by and see the mum.
Except the mum and Nan are not nice people and I've had to block them on all social media. They are basically adult bullies and deeply unpleasant.

Should I chalk it up to experience (my eldest made a similar mistake at the same age) or be a wuss and send DH round?

OP posts:
lazee · 20/05/2021 17:17

Getting involved will cause you and your son upset
I feel sorry for him
He needs nicer friends
10 is a difficult age when all went to fit in.
I'd chalk it off to experience and buy him what he really wanted
He's still young
Hope he's ok

Sarcobaleno · 20/05/2021 17:18

Chalk it up to experience. Show your son the same chain on Amazon for less and teach him to be more careful with his purchases. It's a lot of money for a 10 year old to have out as spending money anyway so maybe a learning experience for you too. If you feel bad for him, split the loss and give him £4. He still learns the lesson but he's still young and it was too much money for him to have easy access to. Think you need to be easier about the other child, also still a child and making mistakes.

1forAll74 · 20/05/2021 17:19

I would just put it down to a bad deal now, and warn your son about stuff like this, regarding paying money to another child.

Yourself or Husband going to the boys house,will only end up with some nasty hassle, if the Mother and Nan are spikey women.

MrsMiddleMother · 20/05/2021 17:19

Chalk it up to experience. You shouldn't have got involved, tough luck really.

lazee · 20/05/2021 17:19

And don't give him access to his money

cupsofcoffee · 20/05/2021 17:20

Chalk it up to experience - for both of you.

He shouldn't have free access to that kind of money to begin with.

Elisandra · 20/05/2021 17:22

Poor lad, he’s only 10. Like a pp said he may have been pressurised and trying to fit in.

GameSetMatch · 20/05/2021 17:24

Why was your son out with so much money? children are always loosing things least he got something for his money rather than just forgetting where he put it 🙄 just use it as a lesson learned.

waitingforthenextseason · 20/05/2021 17:31

Your 10 year old handed over the money. tough lesson, but a lesson it is.

crosspelican · 20/05/2021 17:32

I think this is a case of "lesson learned" for both of you. I would feel absolutely sick about it on his behalf, but you need to have a gentle conversation with him about the way some people are horrible and quite seriously out to rip others off, and then protect him from this in future by not letting him bring money out.

I know it's a bit late now, but why did he have cash in the first place? I would have taken the cash and got him a GoHenry account so that he can safely manage his money himself.

changeuser · 20/05/2021 17:34

Send DH round

Why ?

flashylamp · 20/05/2021 17:34

We called the kid, I spoke to him on Ds's phone

This overstepped a mark IMO. You phoned a ten year old over this?

Original poster
StopSayingDueDiligence · 20/05/2021 17:36

Why did you let your 10 year old go out to play with that much money? Not a very wise decision.

Oh come on now.

As if I had any idea the daft plonker took cash out with him. Hmm

And to the person who asked why he had money - as I said in the OP, it was his birthday and he got birthday money.

I agree with the majority though, chalk it up to experience.
DS feels mightily screwed over though. And is saying he wants his money back Confused

OP posts:
flashylamp · 20/05/2021 17:36

Posted too soon..

I may have agreed with the idea of your husband going round but after you phoned the ten year old I don't think you are in the best position.

And why have 10 year olds got phones? Why are other adults able to do this

FiddlefigOnTheRoof · 20/05/2021 17:36

Kids this age can’t be trusted to do fair trades. Stand up for your son.

PaperbackRider · 20/05/2021 17:38

And why have 10 year olds got phones?

most 10 year olds have phones. Keep up.

Wannakisstheteacher · 20/05/2021 17:38

He’s only feeling screwed over because you made him feel like that though.

ittakes2 · 20/05/2021 17:40

He made the decision so needs to chalk it up to experience.
Sending your husband around is a terrible idea sorry as you are likely to inflame the situation and cause problems at school.
Your son made the decision - he needs to learn from it.
I think its highly inappropriate you spoke to the child yourself.

Original poster
StopSayingDueDiligence · 20/05/2021 17:41

He shouldn't have free access to that kind of money to begin with.

Ah yes, those bastard family members sending him money in his birthday cards. Grin

OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 20/05/2021 17:41

I've had those types of neighbours, leave this one alone, nothing good will come of it.

IHaveBrilloHair · 20/05/2021 17:42

The birthday card money you take for safe keeping and help him with as he's 10.

Original poster
StopSayingDueDiligence · 20/05/2021 17:42

This overstepped a mark IMO. You phoned a ten year old over this?

I didn't call anybody.
I said I spoke to him over the phone.
DS called him, it was on loud speaker and i mentioned what a daft decision my DS had made and could we swap back.

I'm hardly stalking children.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 20/05/2021 17:43

Hang on. He’s ten. Took the money out without saying. Had previously seen them on Amazon and knew the cost. Decided to pay triple that to his friend. Now wants his money back?

Would I fuck get involved. He’s ten not five. More than old enough to understand what he did here. He made the decision, he needs to live with it. End of.

Sarcobaleno · 20/05/2021 17:44

@flashylamp

We called the kid, I spoke to him on Ds's phone

This overstepped a mark IMO. You phoned a ten year old over this?

I agree. You either talk to the parents or leave it but that is not cool...
Bluntness100 · 20/05/2021 17:44

Sorry and you should never have spoken to the young lad on the phone as you did. Your son is ten, he is the one at fault here not the lad.