Do I help my son with this silly purchase? Or chalk it up to experience?

[StopSayingDueDiligence]

My sons 10th birthday, he got some money.

He went out to play with friends and came home wearing a black-ish cheap tacky chain.
I asked him where he got it and it was his friend/bully kid that lives near here, also 10.

He charged him £16 for it.
It is worth about £4-5 brand new. It's no type of metal. I know because DS was pointing out which one he wanted on Amazon.

It certainly isn't worth £16.

We called the kid, I spoke to him on Ds's phone explained that DS had made a mistake and could he swap back? This was about 20 minutes after the purchase happened.

He agreed to bring it to school the next day.

He hasn't and now making excuses and refusing to give the money back.

Ordinarily I would pop by and see the mum.
Except the mum and Nan are not nice people and I've had to block them on all social media. They are basically adult bullies and deeply unpleasant.

Should I chalk it up to experience (my eldest made a similar mistake at the same age) or be a wuss and send DH round?

@ShadierThanaPalmTree

Without meaning to sound overly harsh, I'm not sure why you decided to get involved at all? Your son knew how much the boy wanted for it, decided he was happy to pay that and bought it? Why should the other boy have to give it back because you decided that he paid too much? It was his money to do with as he wants. I would use it as a lesson, next time shop about and look online to see if you can get it cheaper.

Because he’s 10.

@StopSayingDueDiligence What a great outcome! I'm glad it was all resolved. It's tricky at that age.

(I still highly recommend GoHenry though - my 10yo has nothing to spend her pocket money on really, so she has the fun of watching it grow and I don't have to worry about not having money on me - it just tops up automatically, and they can earn more by doing small jobs around the house, like putting laundry away.)

Can't remember the last time I had to block an unpleasant and volatile 'Nan 'n' Mum' duo on social media, but if I did, I wouldn't allow my ten year old son to be friends with the next generation of that Martina Cole-esque clan.
And a PP is correct. A 'swap' is when a child exchanges a slightly-used fluffy lockable diary for a bath bomb, a scrunchie and some Starmix, and adults have no involvement. This is a transaction.

That was probably the best £16 ever spent because he has mist likely learned a lot from it going forward, maybe your son is not the loser here

And thanks to the OTT responses that are bordering on batshit, they genuinely made me LOL a few times.
Good old Mumsnet grin

Some of your absolutely stonking replies have given me a good laugh. Thank you. 😀

You know OP, I am good at training my kids to be savvy. It’s such an important part of it once they reach this age, and critical for them to become good judge of character. So
Maybe see this as an opportunity to learn for you son.

I feel for him, my son would have felt properly robbed.

I’d hate my kids to be cynical twats but I do make them think things through regarding friends and any conflict, we used to role play difficult conversations with friends and discuss these issues in the way home from school. (Now it’s all About watsapp 🙄)

I actually would contact the parents in this case as I would be mightily pissed off. If it was my son doing the selling I would also want to know about it and insist the money was returned. Obviously this approach hinges on them being reasonable people...

Did your DS give back the chain?

I mentioned the word 'swap' about 20 times during this thread and even go ridiculed for using 'swap' rather than 'refund' with 10 year old kids and you are asking me if my kid swapped the chain back?

oh good update! I hope your son is pleased. Anyway a lesson learnt for him hopefully and it won't happen again.

@StopSayingDueDiligence

Did your DS give back the chain?

I mentioned the word 'swap' about 20 times during this thread and even go ridiculed for using 'swap' rather than 'refund' with 10 year old kids and you are asking me if my kid swapped the chain back?

So he kept the chain and the money?

This happens to everyone, child and adults, it’s how you learn the value of money and lessons around it.

I’d chalk it up to experience.

@StopSayingDueDiligence

Did your DS give back the chain?

I mentioned the word 'swap' about 20 times during this thread and even go ridiculed for using 'swap' rather than 'refund' with 10 year old kids and you are asking me if my kid swapped the chain back?

I don't understand your rant about swaps I was just asking if your son gave it back when he got the money returned. Why is that a source of anger for you?

Glad it's resolved and hope your son has learned not to buy overpriced stuff from friends or anywhere else. Hope everyone that has called the other child a bully reflects on the fact that he came round to give it back...

You can't fight all his battles. If you are happy to send him out with £16 in his pocket, you should be happy for him to start looking out for what happens to it.

If he is unhappy, discuss that it is important, in life, to be a man of his word rather than a crybaby - if he agreed £16 then he has to live with that. If he didn't want to pay that, he shouldn't have done.