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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask when you had your first French kiss?

205 replies

smersh84 · 19/05/2021 19:40

I was chatting to my friends earlier and some surprised me as they couldn't even remember!
Mine was when I was 15 with another boy my age but not from my old school.

OP posts:
BiBabbles · 20/05/2021 19:24

The first one I can remember, I was 8. It was okay, gentle, fun, pretty short. I vaguely recall him asking and then we hid behind the wooden furniture.

I don't know if that was my first one as my childhood memory is patchy at best. I think it was slightly earlier, maybe even a year before, that my aunt really came down hard on a boy kissing me which may have involved french kissing. I don't remember the kissing at all, just her shouting at him about it at a church event. I was very confused and got the general impression of being too old for it be seen as childish silliness. I think she was well-intended as she thought he was taking advantage but her way of doing it I think only had the effect that the other boys viewed more seriously/with more interest. Part of an evangelical culture that upholds all affection as either divine or damning.

In both cases, the boys were two years-ish older, boys I'd known all my life -- friends of my brother being curious rather than anything else. Sweet, bit of fun, I didn't really view kissing as intimate or did what I would view as 'snogging' until I was 15.

DustyMaiden · 20/05/2021 19:27

16 with my now DH.

Tal45 · 20/05/2021 19:41

16 - underage at a nightclub - I was late to snogging but early to clubbing! It was to KWS Please don't go.

Original poster
smersh84 · 20/05/2021 19:53

@Craftycorvid

19. ‘Twas grim. Like being snogged by a human car wash. Grin. I was in my 40s before I experienced a kiss that made the world stand still.
I'm lmao at your description!
OP posts:
Itsprobablynothingbut · 20/05/2021 20:01
  1. His mum came in and started hoovering and we were so embarrassed we just carried on Blush
irregularegular · 20/05/2021 20:05

I'm with those who can't really imagine proper, sexually charged kissing without tongues. It's just what you naturally do! When you kiss someone you are really attracted to obviously. In fact, I'd kind of forgotten it was called "French kissing". Weird name.

Sounds like a few people have been put off by too much tongue, pushed in too far, too soon!

Ripped · 20/05/2021 20:08

Is this one of those threads started by someone who is looking to get off?

Like the knickers behind the sofa threads

Original poster
smersh84 · 20/05/2021 20:13

@ripped
No
knickers behind the sofa ?what was that about?
sorry I'm relatively new here

OP posts:
GintyMcGinty · 20/05/2021 20:14

15

Original poster
smersh84 · 20/05/2021 20:23

@irregularegular
yes you understand!
when I fancy someone I naturally wanna have a proper snog!
I agree some people have clearly had some bad first experiences
and may need to try it again with somebody who actually knows what they are doing.

OP posts:
ThinWomansBrain · 20/05/2021 20:28

this type of questioning while amusing to some, can be immensely triggering to someone that suffered childhood sexual abuse.
I can still remember being grilled in an after work pub drinks conversation 35 years ago about the first time people had had sex.
This isn't dissimilar - maybe OP's friends chose not to remember, or felt uncomfortable disclosing.
My eventual answer then was at ten, the first time I was raped.
My answer to this kissing question if I gave one in a conversation, would be at around 8, when the sexual abuse started.

CorianderBee · 20/05/2021 22:48

@ThinWomansBrain

this type of questioning while amusing to some, can be immensely triggering to someone that suffered childhood sexual abuse. I can still remember being grilled in an after work pub drinks conversation 35 years ago about the first time people had had sex. This isn't dissimilar - maybe OP's friends chose not to remember, or felt uncomfortable disclosing. My eventual answer then was at ten, the first time I was raped. My answer to this kissing question if I gave one in a conversation, would be at around 8, when the sexual abuse started.
I'm so sorry about that. My best friend has similar. She was 8 when she was first raped. She usually chooses the first time she consensually had sex with someone of her choosing. I think it was aged 17 and she goes with that. But it does hurt her to remember and it's not nice for victims of CSA.

Unfortunately it's a common subject at times. I hope you're dealing well and have sought help xx it must be awful to be a survivor.

joystir59 · 23/05/2021 12:15

I always answer truthfully about by 'firsts' that all happened as part of being sexually abused. I do so because I spent a long time with those experiences locked away and sort of pretended I was a virgin and felt secretly like a monster. So I now always choose to speak honestly and openly in the hope it with help someone else.

LaBellina · 23/05/2021 12:16
  1. On a school trip to Paris

Not making this up 😂

joystir59 · 23/05/2021 12:16

I think if it shocks the person asking the question so be it

Original poster
smersh84 · 23/05/2021 16:33

im sorry if i offended anyone by asking this
it was just meant to be fun

OP posts:
Original poster
smersh84 · 23/05/2021 18:47

[quote smersh84]@irregularegular
yes you understand!
when I fancy someone I naturally wanna have a proper snog!
I agree some people have clearly had some bad first experiences
and may need to try it again with somebody who actually knows what they are doing.[/quote]
following on from this I think that's what peoples issue is. I consider myself to be a good kisser and was lucky enough to have my first real kiss with a good kisser too. if you have a bad first time is naturally going to put you off it. some ladies here are missing out on something that's almost as important in a relationship as sex.

OP posts:
ihavethehighground · 23/05/2021 18:59
  1. On a beach with an American Navy sailor who was on shore leave . Amazing !
BridgeFarmKefir · 23/05/2021 19:03

12, during spin the bottle, with a boy with a stupid nickname who ended up with a NEW nickname 'the washing machine'. Ruined kissing for me for a long time. Anyone who knows me will probably know exactly who I'm talking about...

Goldenskeletons · 23/05/2021 19:05
  1. I married him.
justanotherremainer · 23/05/2021 19:10

I was 12 and it was amazing 🤩🤩🤩

Original poster
smersh84 · 23/05/2021 19:23

@BridgeFarmKefir
another bottle spinner!!
I'm starting to feel like I missed out
would love to play it even now

OP posts:
optimistic40 · 23/05/2021 19:25

13
Thought it was gross!

TheWitchersWife · 23/05/2021 19:31
  1. At an under 18s club. I really fancied him at the time, he came and asked me for a kiss, I couldn't believe it. First ever snog. Then he kissed my friend, and my other friend, and said something along the lines of "I'm into the 20s now, I'm gonna win this bet" and left 😫 Dickhead.
Original poster
smersh84 · 23/05/2021 19:45

@TheWitchersWife
great story! I smiled a bit but I feel for you that would be awfulSad

OP posts:
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