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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is a stealth post or am I a miserable cow?

309 replies

Sternschnuppe · 19/05/2021 19:13

I'm due to start a new job in June. It's a complete remote position and I'll be training for four weeks at the beginning with other new starters.

I don't know any of the people I'll be training with, but today I saw on LinkedIn that one of the HR people at the company who headhunted me liked a post of one of the new starters at the company.

It went along the lines of "I'm so happy and excited to start my role. During this pandemic, landing this dream role right after getting my university degree hasn't been easy. I'm feeling so blessed and can't wait for this new chapter in my life"

I was rolling my eyes to the back of my head when I read that and just thought how narcissistic and full of self-praise this person is to write this publically on LinkedIn, but am I being unreasonable?

Is this the new normal and I'm just being a miserable, bitter cow that should get with the times?

OP posts:
SunburstsOrMarbleHalls · 19/05/2021 22:32

They just sound like a bit of a keen bean, new to the workplace and full of effusive enthusiasm about their shiny new job.

The employment market is pretty grim at the moment and a lot of graduates are struggling to get their foot in the door as loads of internships and work experience schemes have stopped over the last 12 months.

They will probable delete the comment when the novelty of being in the rat race wears off.

Cherrysoup · 19/05/2021 22:36

I don’t think it’s normal to write this. I’d probably gag if a colleague did similar. Just ignore.

PlumpAndDeliciousFatcat · 19/05/2021 22:37

Honestly OP I'd probably have a mini-cringe but I'd take a much more generous view of the person who posted it. TBH I think a great deal more harm is done on the multiple platforms where people are totally anonymous. Do you not think it's a little off that you came straight here to bitch about this?

I think the new normal is for everyone to be a narcissist and to gob off with views about stuff they know shit all about, but have perhaps learnt off someone online, who may or may not know their arse from their elbow. People are on and off bandwagons and you must agree with the twitter view or you are cancelled. I prefer to keep out of the whole weird mess.

You have literally just described Mumsnet.

UrAWizHarry · 19/05/2021 22:39

@Cowbells

I don't think it's narcissistic or gushing or fake. It sounds genuinely happy. It's a bloody nightmare for uni students trying to find work during the pandemic. Why not allow her a little public joy about it without assuming she's self-centred? She might just be very relieved and happy. Also, ime people often post stuff like that after they have had a long hard slog of a time and finally have something to celebrate.
Exactly this.

There are a lot of miserable fuckers in this world sneering at people.

silentpool · 19/05/2021 22:57

I'm avoiding LinkedIn. The humble bragging on there is not for me.

claretblue79 · 19/05/2021 23:02

Just let people be happy and pleased for their lot in life. Isn't there enough misery in the world?

3Britnee · 19/05/2021 23:08

You've just done the same. All you needed to say was 'I saw such and such post on linkedin'.

And yes, you are bitter and miserable.

KaleSlayer · 19/05/2021 23:09

It was very "look at me"

I agree. But it’s just what a lot of people are like now. They write things like this on other social media for their personal life so they do the same for work and it’s normal to them. I’m a bit 🙄 but there’s no real harm.

Lovesabadboy · 19/05/2021 23:11

@NavigationCentral

What? I’m a university academic and my heart is always full of pride when a final year graduates and says they’ve landed a job. So proud of them. This person is no different - a freshly minted grad eager to start a new chapter. Wtf is the stealth boast?!
Thank you @NavigationCentral. Thank you for feeling proud of the new graduates! You, more than anyone, must know how tough it has been for the students throughout this pandemic.

Maybe the post could do without the 'feeling blessed' line, but I think the rest of it is fine and the young girl is clearly very happy, excited and proud of herself ...and why shouldn't she be?

My own daughter could have written that. She, too, has just landed a job in her chosen career and hasn't graduated yet. The past 14 months have been awful for Uni students, so for any of them to be going straight into a job in their field is bloody fantastic, in my opinion.
Credit where it is due, I think. Life hasn't given us much to be thankful recently, so I would rather share in this youngsters joy than slap it down as cringey and vomit-inducing.

Perhaps think how you would all feel if it were a child of yours who had posted that - would you be rolling your eyes then?

Whatshouldicallme · 20/05/2021 05:47

@DrSbaitso
Of course I'm not shocked that people are cringy and humble brag on SM, it happens all the time. I'm shocked that so many people think it's socially acceptable to boast about how blessed you are in the midst of a pandemic when so many have been the opposite of blessed. I'm sure many of that new grad's friends on Linkedin haven't been so lucky. The way that she worded it is obxious and braggy. It happens all the time, but I still think it's very rude.

@Seesawmummadaw
Er, of course we want people to be getting jobs in the pandemic. Getting a job and celebrating your own successes privately is very different from boasting about it to the world on SM.

CornishPastyDownUnder · 20/05/2021 05:55

Urghh there used to be a fair number of miserable old gits where I work too-the hackles go up at the merest waft of humour, laughter or banter..Fortunately they are a dying breed-new management and contracts have seen most of them off...
How the fuck can postivity, enthusiasm and an upbeat nature be seen as a character flaw =- yes YADBU @Sternschnuppe

2021booklover · 20/05/2021 06:00

Welcome to LinkedIn. Wait til you see some of the shit people post

DarceyDashwood · 20/05/2021 06:12

YABU because it’s Linkedin!

Whatshouldicallme · 20/05/2021 06:18

Surely people realise that SM can be used to share information, content, etc that is helpful for others? Why would anyone log in to SM if it was just filled with people bragging about their own situation?

I don't have LI so maybe I just don't understand that platform. But I do have other SM accounts and find there are really only a few of my contacts who post outright brags like that. It does make me think less of them in real life!

Mangofandangoo · 20/05/2021 06:29

Sounds like you're starting a new job and have already got a chip on your shoulder about one of the other employees Confused

torquewench · 20/05/2021 06:39

Someone said lightheartedly at work the other day, when a colleague was bigging themselves up "if you cant be your own cheerleader ..."

Nothing stealthy about that boast, OP. But do give them the benefit of being young and maybe inexperienced. Reality will come at her fast ...

daisypond · 20/05/2021 06:44

Perhaps think how you would all feel if it were a child of yours who had posted that - would you be rolling your eyes then?

Well, yes, more so. I would hope that my child would know better not to post such guff on a professional website. My child is graduating this year and wouldn’t dream of saying such stuff on LinkedIn.

DrSbaitso · 20/05/2021 06:46

I'm shocked that so many people think it's socially acceptable to boast about how blessed you are in the midst of a pandemic when so many have been the opposite of blessed.

You're shocked that people don't mind a new grad announcing a new job on a careers networking site? Because of covid?

She's spent her entire last year of uni and longer studying and graduating in lockdown or near lockdown, she's got a job in the tough resulting market, and you think everyone is morally wrong not to mind when she mentions it on a careers site designed for the purpose?

The only unpleasant thing here is you exploiting the pandemic to justify your need for self righteousness.

HarebrightCedarmoon · 20/05/2021 06:50

I agree with you, OP. I find such posts on LinkedIn absolutely cringeworthy and completely arse-licking. Quite often see it with trainee solicitors in Magic Circle firms, or people starting on graduate jobs at the biggest accountancy firms. Oh I'm so grateful to have a job! Oh I can't wait to be ordered around by rich dickheads with their humanity chip removed! I just can't wait to flog my guts out to make these people even more money!

CoalTit · 20/05/2021 07:05

... Oh I'm so grateful to have a job! Oh I can't wait to be ordered around by rich dickheads with their humanity chip removed! I just can't wait to flog my guts out to make these people even more money!
Yes, that's what I find disturbing about the LinkedIn post. It's the corporate world's version of the day labourers in Turkey who call out to prospective employers: "Uncle, let me eat your shit!"
However, the OP's reaction is to sneer at the poster and assure us that s/he didn't have to do any sucking up to get the job. That shows a certain lack of perspective.

Confusedandshaken · 20/05/2021 07:14

@HarebrightCedarmoon

I agree with you, OP. I find such posts on LinkedIn absolutely cringeworthy and completely arse-licking. Quite often see it with trainee solicitors in Magic Circle firms, or people starting on graduate jobs at the biggest accountancy firms. Oh I'm so grateful to have a job! Oh I can't wait to be ordered around by rich dickheads with their humanity chip removed! I just can't wait to flog my guts out to make these people even more money!
My daughter started a graduate job at the biggest accountancy firm in the world a few years ago. She's doing very well, is now highly qualified beyond her degree, has been promoted several times, loves her work which is challenging, surprisingly creative and uses her degree. She is well supported by her manager and senior partner and now has her own team of grads to mentor. She has made very good friends, she travelled the world pre CoVid, has very flexible working patterns, a good social life and excellent long term career prospects. On top of all that she also has a high salary and excellent benefits package. Why wouldn't anyone, let alone a young person with boundless energy and enthusiasm be excited by that?
Whatshouldicallme · 20/05/2021 07:21

@DrSbaitso "and you think everyone is morally wrong not to mind when she mentions it on a careers site designed for the purpose?"
Er, no, I didn't accuse anyone of being "morally wrong" for not minding it (I'm not sure where you've even got that from), I'm just genuinely flabbergasted that such a large proportion of people think that post is acceptable.

I did say that I personally think it's questionable for a new grad to flout her new "dream job" in the faces of other new grad "friends" on social media who likely haven't been as lucky. Not a massive moral issue obviously, but quite obnoxious and insensitive. I guess to me it also seems quite sad that she can't be happy for herself in the knowledge that she's been so successful in the face of adversity without validation from others and that adds to the cringiness.

"The only unpleasant thing here is you exploiting the pandemic to justify your need for self righteousness."
Maybe, but the topic of this thread is whether or not stealth boasting on social media is acceptable, so not sure why you'd engage in a discussion on it if you aren't open to hearing a different opinion.

DrSbaitso · 20/05/2021 07:30

[quote Whatshouldicallme]@DrSbaitso "and you think everyone is morally wrong not to mind when she mentions it on a careers site designed for the purpose?"
Er, no, I didn't accuse anyone of being "morally wrong" for not minding it (I'm not sure where you've even got that from), I'm just genuinely flabbergasted that such a large proportion of people think that post is acceptable.

I did say that I personally think it's questionable for a new grad to flout her new "dream job" in the faces of other new grad "friends" on social media who likely haven't been as lucky. Not a massive moral issue obviously, but quite obnoxious and insensitive. I guess to me it also seems quite sad that she can't be happy for herself in the knowledge that she's been so successful in the face of adversity without validation from others and that adds to the cringiness.

"The only unpleasant thing here is you exploiting the pandemic to justify your need for self righteousness."
Maybe, but the topic of this thread is whether or not stealth boasting on social media is acceptable, so not sure why you'd engage in a discussion on it if you aren't open to hearing a different opinion.[/quote]
Oh give over. If you're "shocked" by this, you're clearly marking it as morally wrong, and you've just doubled down on that by complaining about other recent grads who haven't got jobs yet. That wasn't wasn't bad as trying to exploit Covid, though.

I guess to me it also seems quite sad that she can't be happy for herself in the knowledge that she's been so successful in the face of adversity without validation from others and that adds to the cringiness.

Funny, I was thinking exactly the same thing about you. It's quite sad that you can't be happy for yourself in the knowledge that you are so superior because you wouldn't announce a new job on a career website (the horror!) without validation from others on here, and that adds to the cringiness.

HumunaHey · 20/05/2021 07:31

@MadMadMadamMim

I'd be rolling my eyes at this. But I'm not 21 and just out of uni. I'm closer to 60 and can't imagine being this gushing and fake. For people of (roughly) my age it is the type of shit that 'Miss World' contestants came out with, back in the day.

For the 'youth' of today it appears to be common to post this kind of shit all over social media. It's why I don't do Facebook or other things like it. It's also why I dislike reality tv.

Well some people will cry ageism but, alot of times, this attitude is exactly why younger people fare better when it comes to competitive employment, promotions, etc.
daisypond · 20/05/2021 07:36

It’s posting it on LinkedIn that makes it cringey. Post it on Instagram or Facebook or wherever, fine. They’re personal accounts. But LinkedIn is more like a professional CV - surely.