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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I HATE my wedding dress

545 replies

xela21 · 19/05/2021 16:38

I'm getting married next month, my dress has arrived and I hate it. I need to find a new one and fast. Please help?

I have toyed with the idea of non-white dresses, at this rate I'm open to anything. Ideally wanted a midi length pale dress that doesn't look like a bridesmaid dress (The one I have bought is blush and floaty and bridesmaidy). :( :(

OP posts:
Thread gallery
47
Saltyslug · 19/05/2021 21:15

Omg it’s stunning!!!!!

Original poster
xela21 · 19/05/2021 21:19

@Verbena87

Oh God, I clicked on the ebay link and I think the Ghost dress I'm eyeing up came as a suggestion, not knowing what this means I put a figure slightly above the starting price as a bid. Am I now obliged to buy?

I am not sure if it is the exact dress/ size for definite and the seller doesn't accept returns. I have never used ebay before - help??

OP posts:
CaviarAndCigarettes · 19/05/2021 21:23

However I also love the ghost dress

Original poster
xela21 · 19/05/2021 21:30

What does it mean to watch on Ebay? - "11 watchers" etc

OP posts:
Overthebow · 19/05/2021 21:32

[quote xela21]@Verbena87

Oh God, I clicked on the ebay link and I think the Ghost dress I'm eyeing up came as a suggestion, not knowing what this means I put a figure slightly above the starting price as a bid. Am I now obliged to buy?

I am not sure if it is the exact dress/ size for definite and the seller doesn't accept returns. I have never used ebay before - help??[/quote]
Did you submit a bid? Does it say your the highest bidder?

herecomesthsun · 19/05/2021 21:34

You can email the seller and ask if it is your size. If it isn't you could ask to cancel your bid, that is a "thing" that may well be possible.

I suggest you explain that you are looking for an inexpensive wedding dress for a post lockdown wedding, they would have a heart of steel not to be sympathetic.

TaraR2020 · 19/05/2021 21:35

Have you tried Coast? They've got a few different styles especially if you look at full length

minipie · 19/05/2021 21:37

@xela21

What does it mean to watch on Ebay? - "11 watchers" etc
Watching is fine, no commitment. Just means you will get notified if someone bids or it gets withdrawn etc
Original poster
xela21 · 19/05/2021 21:39

@Overthebow Yes and yes (I am the only bidder, I think)

@herecomesthsun but I have never worn a Ghost dress, if it it doesnt fit me or in fact it isnt the exact Ghost silver dress mentioned in this thread I wouldnt want to keep it. I havent put any payment details in - what happens next? If nobody else bids higher I have to buy it?

OP posts:
minipie · 19/05/2021 21:40

What about the Ghost dress in blush OP? It’s a gorgeous dress. Spanx or similar would deal with any tummy bulge.

The two Asos ones you linked look lovely but I’ve found in the past that Asos “occasionwear” doesn’t look anything like the pictures in reality. I think they stretch the models pictures so they are 8ft tall and mostly leg... However no harm in ordering and trying on but I’d bet the Ghost one is far nicer in reality.

minipie · 19/05/2021 21:41

Just found this on ebay website OP:

“As well as the above, timing is also important when retracting a bid:

If there are 12 hours or more left before the listing ends, all of your bids can be retracted
If the listing is ending in less than 12 hours, you can retract your most recent bid if it's been less than an hour since you placed it”

So: get in there fast and retract the bid

OwlSock · 19/05/2021 21:42

What type of dress do you want to get married in? There truly is no one 'bride' dress - just look at historic wedding attire! I have been married twice, once in a very, very beautiful pale ivory silk empire-line handmade dress with a seed pearl studded bodice, organza veil and satin pumps.

Second time was a Coast off-the-rack green and grey silk batik print halter neck with green converse high tops and a headband from Monsoon.

First marriage, I was crying on the lawn of the Bankok Hilton 24 hours later. Divorced within 5 years.

Second marriage, well we are still here 14 later, having moved from 'in love' to just 'love' and we are both the happiest, comfiest, and fulfilled people.

A dress can make you feel great - but choose it because it makes YOU feel great. Not what you think it should be - same rule for partner Grin

rosegoldwatcher · 19/05/2021 21:46

Some of those listings on Ebay, for your Ghost dress, have 'Reserve not met.'
if that is the case on the one you have placed a bid, you haven't committed to buying it as the seller is waiting for someone to bid at or above their secret reserve price.

Original poster
xela21 · 19/05/2021 21:47

@minipie thank you - what does reserve price not met mean?

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/184834915229?hash=item2b0904fb9d:g:LGEAAOSw1jFgnZKC
This is the dress - I think it might actually be the right one.

I have no idea how to cancel my bid??

OP posts:
Original poster
xela21 · 19/05/2021 21:49

@rosegoldwatcher - Oh I see. Can the seller lower their reserve price to mean I am obliged to buy it? Is there any way of finding out what their reserve price is?

OP posts:
rosegoldwatcher · 19/05/2021 21:50

You have no need to cancel your bid - you haven't bid high enough to be considered.
Just don't increase your bid until/unless you are sure!

InTropicalTrumpsLand · 19/05/2021 21:52

What about this? A debate on Mumsnet seemed to be 50/50 as to wether it was a bride's dress or not, so maybe it is exactly what you're looking for.

minipie · 19/05/2021 21:57

Ok reserve not met means you should be ok. You bid £20 which is above the starting price but the seller has set a reserve price (kept secret) which they don’t want to sell under, and clearly £20 is less than that reserve price. So if you stick to a bid of £20 you won’t get it.

I am not sure you can retract actually unless the seller agrees to let you but due to the reserve not being met you should be ok anyway.

The colour of this one is Dusty Green if you look in the full description so not sure this is the one you want?

ForeveronEtsy · 19/05/2021 21:59

@xela21 it means 11 people are watching it. People don’t usually bid until it’s nearly ended. So I wouldn’t worry you will probably be outbid by someone else. How much did you bid for?

Blueeyedgirl21 · 19/05/2021 22:00

Phase 8 bridal do some lovely understated things

Honeyroar · 19/05/2021 22:00

I like no 1 and no 3 from the ones you asked yay/nay for, better than the Ghost dress. But you sound like you love the ghost dress, so why not increase your eBay bid - if you get it fairly cheaply it’s worth a punt..

Overthebow · 19/05/2021 22:01

[quote xela21]@minipie thank you - what does reserve price not met mean?

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/184834915229?hash=item2b0904fb9d:g:LGEAAOSw1jFgnZKC
This is the dress - I think it might actually be the right one.

I have no idea how to cancel my bid??[/quote]
The dress you linked isn’t silver, it’s described as duck egg blue and dusty green.

Dora33 · 19/05/2021 22:04

Ghost dress & silkfred dresses are both really lovely.