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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours, parking and cats

323 replies

bibblebobbleblackbobble · 19/05/2021 10:35

Sorry for epic post. We've had civil but not friendly relations with our next door neighbours since they moved in 7 years ago. There is a two-part issue.

1.We have one car and half of our front garden is a driveway and the other half has plants and small trees on it. Next door has a smaller plot and have mostly a driveway with a hedge and raised planted border. This driveway could easily fit 2 cars if they were normal-sized and you could fit two massive ones if you paid attention (another nearby neighbour with a slightly smaller plot manages two vans). NDNs have two massive cars and a van. They park one car on the drive and the other car plus van on the road. I don't have a problem with this. However, they like to park as close to their house as possible and tended to block us in on our driveway. We would then have to ask them to move their car so we could get out. It was problematic late at night or in emergencies. So we started parking our car on the road in front of our house so that we wouldn't get blocked in. This means they either have to block their own car in or park slightly further away from their house.

  1. NDNs have several cats. One of them comes into our house constantly, shits everywhere, climbs on top of kitchen worktops and eats off plates etc. It just isn't housetrained. We had a cat years ago, so are aware it is possible to largely train a cat out of this behaviour. We have mentioned it, but get brushed off with amusing comments about how cats are our overlords and they go where they like etc. So we ensure that doors are kept shut, no large windows are open on the ground floor, and we spray water at cat when it manages to get in and boot it out. We have adapted our lifestyle to manage with the cat.
On Monday, NDN came to the front door as they have had a genius plan for dealing with the parking issue. I should dig up my front garden and tarmac it so we can park our car on the driveway making enough space for NDN to park one of their vehicles in front of my drive without blocking me in. This was presented as the obvious and only rational thing to do. I said I would discuss with DH but that I was very happy with my front garden as it was. While we were talking, the Cat of Doom shot between our legs, into the kitchen, jumped on worktops and attacked an open tin of tuna I was using when the doorbell rang. Cat cut itself on the tin, neighbour came in to help catch it and took it away. This morning, NDN have put a note through our door asking us to pay £800 vet bill for cat's injuries. DH says pay it (somehow) for a quiet life, but I think we need to take a stand now. AIBU?
OP posts:
Burgess67A · 21/05/2021 10:55

Don’t pay the vet bill ! They’re taking you for mugs

6079SmithW · 21/05/2021 11:45

@bibblebobbleblackbobble They sound like a nightmare. I understand why you think it might be a good idea to contribute towards the vet bill, but my concern would be that it would just then become the start of other dubious 'charges'. Don't give them any money.

DdraigGoch · 21/05/2021 12:40

Refer them to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram

KaptainKaveman · 21/05/2021 12:55

@bibblebobbleblackbobble

Thanks. We have no intention of changing our front garden. DH is not spineless, but his angle was that it may end up cheaper to pay this in the long run. They live next door and are capable of causing a lot of trouble and damage in our lives. I started the thread to see what others' opinions were. It was reassuring to see most posters agreeing that it was a crazy proposition. We're not intending to pay this bill, genuine or not.

On MN everyone seems be living this unbelievably beligerant life:- we should be hanging the cat from a tree with its entrails hanging out, setting their car in fire and painting CUNT in six-foot high letters in neon paint on the front of their house. In real, non-MN life we try to get along with the people in our vicinity, choose our battles, answer our doorbells and not go non-contact with any relative that irks us. This doesn't make us spineless walkovers.

I'd love to do this to my NDN, OP Grin as well as cut down her horrible trees with a chainsaw. Maybe I will...
terrimom · 21/05/2021 15:33

No. Nope. Nopity. NO.NO.NO! Do not pay and tell them that you will call animal control or whatever the British equivalent is the next time the cat is in your house. This is way beyond reasonable neighborly politeness. This woman is walking all over you and her cat is a giant nuisance and health problem. I would get the authorities involved now, at this stage, to put a stop to further abuse. Neighbors like this will take advantage of you and bully you to no end. There will be no pleasing them ever. For everything you do to accommodate, there will be 10 more unreasonable requests to follow. Put a stop to it now. There is absolutely nothing wrong with standing up for yourself and establishing boundaries immediately and standing firm once you do.

QuestionEverythingOrBeASheep · 21/05/2021 17:03

@bibblebobbleblackbobble

Sorry for epic post. We've had civil but not friendly relations with our next door neighbours since they moved in 7 years ago. There is a two-part issue.

1.We have one car and half of our front garden is a driveway and the other half has plants and small trees on it. Next door has a smaller plot and have mostly a driveway with a hedge and raised planted border. This driveway could easily fit 2 cars if they were normal-sized and you could fit two massive ones if you paid attention (another nearby neighbour with a slightly smaller plot manages two vans). NDNs have two massive cars and a van. They park one car on the drive and the other car plus van on the road. I don't have a problem with this. However, they like to park as close to their house as possible and tended to block us in on our driveway. We would then have to ask them to move their car so we could get out. It was problematic late at night or in emergencies. So we started parking our car on the road in front of our house so that we wouldn't get blocked in. This means they either have to block their own car in or park slightly further away from their house.

  1. NDNs have several cats. One of them comes into our house constantly, shits everywhere, climbs on top of kitchen worktops and eats off plates etc. It just isn't housetrained. We had a cat years ago, so are aware it is possible to largely train a cat out of this behaviour. We have mentioned it, but get brushed off with amusing comments about how cats are our overlords and they go where they like etc. So we ensure that doors are kept shut, no large windows are open on the ground floor, and we spray water at cat when it manages to get in and boot it out. We have adapted our lifestyle to manage with the cat.
On Monday, NDN came to the front door as they have had a genius plan for dealing with the parking issue. I should dig up my front garden and tarmac it so we can park our car on the driveway making enough space for NDN to park one of their vehicles in front of my drive without blocking me in. This was presented as the obvious and only rational thing to do. I said I would discuss with DH but that I was very happy with my front garden as it was. While we were talking, the Cat of Doom shot between our legs, into the kitchen, jumped on worktops and attacked an open tin of tuna I was using when the doorbell rang. Cat cut itself on the tin, neighbour came in to help catch it and took it away. This morning, NDN have put a note through our door asking us to pay £800 vet bill for cat's injuries. DH says pay it (somehow) for a quiet life, but I think we need to take a stand now. AIBU?
You would be absolutely crazy to pay this or even entertain the idea. This will leave you open to further extortion. £800 for a cut WTF do they take you for. You didn't invite the cat in, not your problem. The cat trespassed uninvited, then stole from you and hurt itself in the process.

So if you were talking with you neighbour and tables were turned, would you think it would be acceptable to claim from them? I'm sure you could rustle up a fake vet bill easily.

They also trespassed by charging into your house uninvited. They had no right to enter.

Ignore requests about the garden, it's not for your benefit, just theirs. Politely say it's not possible, sorry as you like your garden as it is.

If you are remotely tempted to pay a potentially fake bill. phone there vet directly and explain what happened and what the neighbour is demanding. Just ask for their advice. While they may not be able to give out sensitive data, they may be able to realise they are trying to scam you and advise you.

Most pets are insured. Take a picture of the cats injury and ask for their insurance details. Say you can only deal with the insurers, not directly with them as it's not how it works. Scammers are everywhere and these neighbours are opportunists. Maybe you can send the a bill every time their cat shits in your house for carpet cleaning.

YANBU. Do no even entertain this idea. Their cat, their responsibility. Call the CAB if you need advice.

Ddot · 21/05/2021 19:38

Really 🤣🤣🤣🤣I need new worktops in my kitchen. If you want to give your cash away.
He gave you the bill! CF

Barmychick · 21/05/2021 20:57

"wat a f***g liberty!

user1490954378 · 23/05/2021 21:20

This is cheeky fuckery of the highest order. Don't give them a sodding penny. Laugh and tell them to piss off, but tell them they can have the bill for the tuna and cleaning products for the times their cat has shit all over your house. Their cat is their own responsibility. And tell them not to block you in again or you will call 101 every time. And definitely cat proof your house.

Ddot · 23/05/2021 23:26

Hope you get things sorted. Poor pussy its not his fault, or yours. Neighbours should have insuranced the cat, its their responsibility not yours. Car parking is an issue most places now, too many cars not enough space. I'm afraid you'll just have to work something out between the three of you but I wouldn't be killing your garden for it.

stayathomer · 25/05/2021 04:51

OP I loved your reply. Best of luck with cf and hopefully someday they'll decide to move somewhere else!

Spaceprincess · 25/05/2021 10:14

Also £800???
Last time my cat needed treatment after a fight it was £90!

Ddot · 28/05/2021 07:38

The cost depends on the day time you visit vets. If it was a weekend Or after hours. Nothing in your post makes me think your responsible so I hope you sort amicably

Sceptre86 · 28/05/2021 12:36

post a letter back saying that they need ro keep their cat under control so you will not be paying. Also that you are happy with your garden as it is and they will need to find a new solution to their parking issues. Be prepared for the inevitable knock on the door, do not engage just repeat your stance and shut the door.

Ddot · 28/05/2021 18:57

Control their cat! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Krazykaren07 · 29/05/2021 12:29

I see this made the Daily Mail!
Mumsnet user said neighbours wants her to pay £800 in vet bills www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9604333/Mumsnet-user-said-neighbours-wants-pay-800-vet-bills-cat-cut-itself.html?ito=native_share_article-top

mamaoffourdc · 29/05/2021 12:53

Er nope

XelaM · 29/05/2021 17:55

Haha was just going to say this made the news!

Duchess379 · 29/05/2021 22:10

No. No. No. Firstly, slap your husband. Then tell your neighbours to either a) learn to park on their own drive. b) sell one car. c) move somewhere with unlimited parking. If none of these options are feasible, tell them to fcuk off!

Catlady31 · 30/05/2021 00:00

Saw this on the daily mail earlier.

Don't believe a word of it, too many in-discrepancies

LCDIT · 30/05/2021 01:51

@Catlady31

Saw this on the daily mail earlier.

Don't believe a word of it, too many in-discrepancies

Totally agree.
User629202 · 30/05/2021 03:10

I have a three week old iceberg lettuce in the back of my fridge with more spine than your husband. Imagine thinking for a second it would be better to pay an EIGHT HUNDRED POUND bill than stand up even slightly to an unreasonable neighbour. Baffling.

1WayOrAnother2 · 02/06/2021 12:53

I'm all for getting on with the neighbours and 'give and take' is part of that.

However, real cheating/bullying cannot be smiled away. It isn't safe to let that pass unless you plan to move soon. This time the Mumsnet vipers have it!

(Remember the bullies at school and how if you gave them your lunch money, they would come back for it every day... plus for anything else you had that they might want? £800 and a drive of tarmac is just the start.)

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