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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours, parking and cats

323 replies

bibblebobbleblackbobble · 19/05/2021 10:35

Sorry for epic post. We've had civil but not friendly relations with our next door neighbours since they moved in 7 years ago. There is a two-part issue.

1.We have one car and half of our front garden is a driveway and the other half has plants and small trees on it. Next door has a smaller plot and have mostly a driveway with a hedge and raised planted border. This driveway could easily fit 2 cars if they were normal-sized and you could fit two massive ones if you paid attention (another nearby neighbour with a slightly smaller plot manages two vans). NDNs have two massive cars and a van. They park one car on the drive and the other car plus van on the road. I don't have a problem with this. However, they like to park as close to their house as possible and tended to block us in on our driveway. We would then have to ask them to move their car so we could get out. It was problematic late at night or in emergencies. So we started parking our car on the road in front of our house so that we wouldn't get blocked in. This means they either have to block their own car in or park slightly further away from their house.

  1. NDNs have several cats. One of them comes into our house constantly, shits everywhere, climbs on top of kitchen worktops and eats off plates etc. It just isn't housetrained. We had a cat years ago, so are aware it is possible to largely train a cat out of this behaviour. We have mentioned it, but get brushed off with amusing comments about how cats are our overlords and they go where they like etc. So we ensure that doors are kept shut, no large windows are open on the ground floor, and we spray water at cat when it manages to get in and boot it out. We have adapted our lifestyle to manage with the cat.
On Monday, NDN came to the front door as they have had a genius plan for dealing with the parking issue. I should dig up my front garden and tarmac it so we can park our car on the driveway making enough space for NDN to park one of their vehicles in front of my drive without blocking me in. This was presented as the obvious and only rational thing to do. I said I would discuss with DH but that I was very happy with my front garden as it was. While we were talking, the Cat of Doom shot between our legs, into the kitchen, jumped on worktops and attacked an open tin of tuna I was using when the doorbell rang. Cat cut itself on the tin, neighbour came in to help catch it and took it away. This morning, NDN have put a note through our door asking us to pay £800 vet bill for cat's injuries. DH says pay it (somehow) for a quiet life, but I think we need to take a stand now. AIBU?
OP posts:
Doris86 · 19/05/2021 14:28

@ivykaty44

regarding the vet bill

Cats are our overlords and owning one means paying the bill when they get into scrapes

As for the parking issue - what parking issue? we've solved it by not parking in our own drive and therefore don't get blocked int the drive any longer, suits us.

I’d suggest that not being able to use your own drive because the neighbours might block you in is not really resolving the issue.
DoubleTweenQueen · 19/05/2021 14:32

Print the thread and post through NDNs door. They might get the message.

Mowzy · 19/05/2021 14:33

Invoice her for the tin of tuna.

BeeDavis · 19/05/2021 14:35

DO NOT pay that bill for christ’s sake. And don’t dig up your garden either. Cheeky fuckers.

ajmouse · 19/05/2021 14:43

This reminds me of one of those MSE "Money Moral Dilemma" posts that is not a dilemma at all.

Having a dispute with someone you live next door to must be the worst so I can see why there'd be a temptation to pay to keep the peace but you are basically then being blackmailed for the sake of 'peace' and could be again in future.

I'd be inclined to neatly add up various damages to your home by the cat to around £800 and invoice them, minus their claim, say it's settled and post it through theirs.

Twinkie01 · 19/05/2021 14:45

FUCK OFF TO THE OTHER SIDE OF FUCKDOM YOU NUTTY CAT OVERLORD LOVING FUCKERS.

In big red letters across the vets bill and return it through their door.

Funnyface1 · 19/05/2021 14:45

I feel like, as a stranger on the internet, I could come up with some more legitimate reason that you should send me £800. This is absolutely crazy.

Vursayles · 19/05/2021 14:47

Oh my goodness, they are utterly entitled, clueless, arrogant dickheads. Do not pay them a single penny, leave your garden as it is and feel free to invoice them for any damage/cleaning incurred as a result of their cat trespassing inside your house. Beggars belief.

Maryann1975 · 19/05/2021 14:50

Ha, as the owner of a cat who is the queen of the world, I fully appreciate you can’t train a cat to do certain things, like stay out of other peoples homes and not to crap in other peoples gardens. What I can do, is clean the shit up every time I either see her do it, or a neighbour points it out to me and be massively apologetic and pay for any damage to their property if she goes in their house.

As for adding another parking space and tarmacing your garden, they can get lost! No way I would be doing this because it made someone else’s life easier. They should have thought about car parking before they moved in and if the property didn’t have suitable space, they should have found somewhere else that did!

Rfjkf · 19/05/2021 14:50

You're not being unreasonable about the parking or the vets bills. You are being unreasonable by thinking it's possible to train the cat not to come into your house

newnortherner111 · 19/05/2021 14:59

Do not pay. I help your husband gets better from his warped view of what is right and wrong.

Douchebaggette · 19/05/2021 15:04

The only obvious answer is to

a) refuse to change your drive as you don't want to
b) refuse to pay the vet bill as the cat was trespassing
c) send them a counter-bill for the tuna Grin

SunnySpills · 19/05/2021 15:08

If she comes round again spray her with water too.

Lovingspring · 19/05/2021 15:16

No way would I be paying,

Perhaps send them a quote for flyscreens and flydoors to be installed on your ground floor, to keep the cat out. You could also develop an allergy to cats.

SofiaMichelle · 19/05/2021 15:24

Tell them you want the money for the tuna,

memberofthewedding · 19/05/2021 15:36

Return the note through their door ripped into pieces, That should get the point accross quite explicitly. But then I hate bloody neighbours and wish there was an open season on them like there is on game birds.

1forAll74 · 19/05/2021 15:40

OMG.What loonies they are. You don't have to pay a vets bill for them,no way.. The cats injury could probably have been dealt with by themselves..unless the cat had cut it's whole foot off.
Their devil cat sounds odd. I have three cats, and sometimes they will sit on someones doorstep,or even walk into someones kitchen, but if they went near to anyone who obviously didn't like cats,or shouted at them,or squirted water at them, they would know to keep away from them,. cats are quite switched on about such things.

Not sure what you will do about the vehicles problems. I have never had to deal this stuff.

mainsfed · 19/05/2021 15:44

Holy fucky, they are so entitled! This is a new level of batshittery. I'm speechless! Shock

NeedNewKnees · 19/05/2021 15:45

If they were responsible pet owners they’d have pet insurance. Sod them.

WitchDancer · 19/05/2021 15:49

I can't believe the brass neck of these CF's! You really do need to tell them no on both counts otherwise they're going to take the piss big style.

Theoscargoesto · 19/05/2021 15:52

That is MAD. Please don’t pay!

anuvamotherhood · 19/05/2021 16:00

£800 for a cut on a tuna can? Give over! 😂

YANBU, do not pay and do not tarmac!

KaptainKaveman · 19/05/2021 16:04

CFs!!

DinaofCloud9 · 19/05/2021 17:02

I feel second hand embarrassment for your DH. Imagine being such a drip.

Doris86 · 19/05/2021 17:18

My cat spent two whole days at the vet recently have on a drip and having medication. There were also a couple of follow up consultations, and total cost was £400.

£800 to patch up a cut? Your neighbours clearly take you for fools! The cost is irrelevant though, it’s not your responsibility to pay.