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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours, parking and cats

323 replies

bibblebobbleblackbobble · 19/05/2021 10:35

Sorry for epic post. We've had civil but not friendly relations with our next door neighbours since they moved in 7 years ago. There is a two-part issue.

1.We have one car and half of our front garden is a driveway and the other half has plants and small trees on it. Next door has a smaller plot and have mostly a driveway with a hedge and raised planted border. This driveway could easily fit 2 cars if they were normal-sized and you could fit two massive ones if you paid attention (another nearby neighbour with a slightly smaller plot manages two vans). NDNs have two massive cars and a van. They park one car on the drive and the other car plus van on the road. I don't have a problem with this. However, they like to park as close to their house as possible and tended to block us in on our driveway. We would then have to ask them to move their car so we could get out. It was problematic late at night or in emergencies. So we started parking our car on the road in front of our house so that we wouldn't get blocked in. This means they either have to block their own car in or park slightly further away from their house.

  1. NDNs have several cats. One of them comes into our house constantly, shits everywhere, climbs on top of kitchen worktops and eats off plates etc. It just isn't housetrained. We had a cat years ago, so are aware it is possible to largely train a cat out of this behaviour. We have mentioned it, but get brushed off with amusing comments about how cats are our overlords and they go where they like etc. So we ensure that doors are kept shut, no large windows are open on the ground floor, and we spray water at cat when it manages to get in and boot it out. We have adapted our lifestyle to manage with the cat.
On Monday, NDN came to the front door as they have had a genius plan for dealing with the parking issue. I should dig up my front garden and tarmac it so we can park our car on the driveway making enough space for NDN to park one of their vehicles in front of my drive without blocking me in. This was presented as the obvious and only rational thing to do. I said I would discuss with DH but that I was very happy with my front garden as it was. While we were talking, the Cat of Doom shot between our legs, into the kitchen, jumped on worktops and attacked an open tin of tuna I was using when the doorbell rang. Cat cut itself on the tin, neighbour came in to help catch it and took it away. This morning, NDN have put a note through our door asking us to pay £800 vet bill for cat's injuries. DH says pay it (somehow) for a quiet life, but I think we need to take a stand now. AIBU?
OP posts:
JimBobNoJob · 19/05/2021 22:21

£800 fo a cut??
Neighbours cat seriously injured his leg last summer, blood all over her garden, required major repair surgery and a vet stay that came to over £800. But I can’t see a tin can doing a huge amount of damage. But regardless of the cost, the onus is not on you to pay it.
It’s not like you invited the cat in to come and sample your Tuna! 🤔

Added to that, asking you to tarmac your garden to benefit her, she’s fucking batshit!
You do not pay her a penny, I’d be telling her in no uncertain terms to do one!

Cherrysoup · 19/05/2021 22:26

Of course you don’t pay the vet bill, how mad are your neighbours! If they ask about your drive again, tell them to stop, you are not going to change things and they need to stop blocking you in (believe it’s illegal to block someone in but not stop them getting on their own drive?)

They’re cheeky fuckers and stupid.

bibblebobbleblackbobble · 19/05/2021 23:05

Thanks. We have no intention of changing our front garden. DH is not spineless, but his angle was that it may end up cheaper to pay this in the long run. They live next door and are capable of causing a lot of trouble and damage in our lives. I started the thread to see what others' opinions were. It was reassuring to see most posters agreeing that it was a crazy proposition. We're not intending to pay this bill, genuine or not.

On MN everyone seems be living this unbelievably beligerant life:- we should be hanging the cat from a tree with its entrails hanging out, setting their car in fire and painting CUNT in six-foot high letters in neon paint on the front of their house. In real, non-MN life we try to get along with the people in our vicinity, choose our battles, answer our doorbells and not go non-contact with any relative that irks us. This doesn't make us spineless walkovers.

OP posts:
Onlinedilema · 19/05/2021 23:40

They sound batshit.

Sparklfairy · 20/05/2021 00:03

On MN everyone seems be living this unbelievably beligerant life:- we should be hanging the cat from a tree with its entrails hanging out, setting their car in fire and painting CUNT in six-foot high letters in neon paint on the front of their house.

Come on OP.

We have mentioned it, but get brushed off with amusing comments about how cats are our overlords and they go where they like etc

This morning, NDN have put a note through our door asking us to pay £800 vet bill for cat's injuries. DH says pay it (somehow) for a quiet life, but I think we need to take a stand now.

They obviously think you are a walkover, because you have acted like one. It doesn't mean you have to burn a goat sacrifice to prove the point.

CrikeyPeg · 20/05/2021 04:51

@bibblebobbleblackbobble

Thanks. We have no intention of changing our front garden. DH is not spineless, but his angle was that it may end up cheaper to pay this in the long run. They live next door and are capable of causing a lot of trouble and damage in our lives. I started the thread to see what others' opinions were. It was reassuring to see most posters agreeing that it was a crazy proposition. We're not intending to pay this bill, genuine or not.

On MN everyone seems be living this unbelievably beligerant life:- we should be hanging the cat from a tree with its entrails hanging out, setting their car in fire and painting CUNT in six-foot high letters in neon paint on the front of their house. In real, non-MN life we try to get along with the people in our vicinity, choose our battles, answer our doorbells and not go non-contact with any relative that irks us. This doesn't make us spineless walkovers.

Geeze @bibblebobbleblackbobble - deffo get the message that you're not spineless walkovers; that's a right old telling off every MNnetter and her dog got right there Grin
RaeRaeMama · 20/05/2021 05:24

Wow OP have just read you post and cannot believe this is real.

I can't believe their cat comes your house and poops... I can't believe they have given you a vet bill

I thought my neighbours were bad with their free roaming dogs

Just makes you realise how some people have really different attitudes. To me this is nuts.

I get trying to get on with your neighbours, I really do, but the vet bill thing... just no. What is wrong with these people??

LCDIT · 20/05/2021 05:34

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Allwokedup · 20/05/2021 07:37

Don’t pay. They can’t be serious.

Allwokedup · 20/05/2021 07:38

This sounds very similar to a thread a while a go about a cat falling out of a neighbours tree, the neighbours asking for a huge bill payment and the husband saying they should pay...

Pottedpalm · 20/05/2021 08:27

I have never known a cat to crap in the house, unless taken ill or accidentally shut in for a very long time. Cats are clean creatures.

StarryNight13 · 20/05/2021 09:09

@Pottedpalm

I have never known a cat to crap in the house, unless taken ill or accidentally shut in for a very long time. Cats are clean creatures.
This, my cats are clean and will use their litter tray, soiling in the house is normally a result of medical issues. I’m not sure this is a genuine post, it sounds almost unbelievable too.
longtompot · 20/05/2021 10:50

I have not read all the comments, just yours op, but this would not make for an easier life or a cheaper option in the long run if you were to tarmac your front garden and allow your neighbours to park on there. If you were to sell in the long future, they could claim I think it's adverse possession? Where they have used land for x number of years so have a right to it.
Just continue to park how you do, legally, and they can deal with their own garden and parking situation. Just watch they don't sneak a bit of your garden if they tarmac theirs completely.
As for the £800 vets bill, no way should you pay it!

Doris86 · 20/05/2021 12:03

Paying the bill wouldn’t make it easier and cheaper in the long run as your husband suggests OP. It would just prove to the neighbours that they can walk all over you, and they would continue to come back with more ridiculous demands for cash. You need to put your foot down now and say no.

IntermittentParps · 20/05/2021 12:36

Water with food colouring in. Great idea!

his angle was that it may end up cheaper to pay this in the long run. They live next door and are capable of causing a lot of trouble and damage in our lives.
It really wouldn't work out cheaper. I'm sure you can see that if you were mad enough to pay, it would just be the start?

colgatewhite · 20/05/2021 13:46

Did ye aye.

Patapouf · 20/05/2021 13:48

They can fuck off with that bill!

EverythingRuined · 20/05/2021 14:57

Is this in the mail yet? 😅

LST · 20/05/2021 15:03

Paying the bill will make it worse. They'll think you're pushovers. And what the hell! 800 quid!

Daphnise · 20/05/2021 15:04

Is your DH not very bright, or some kind of chronic Neighbour-Pleaser?

Next he'll be concreting your drive to please them.

£800?

NO!

wearetheweirdosmr · 20/05/2021 15:12

£800 is a joke
No way it cost that much

huuuuunnnndderrricks · 20/05/2021 17:17

They are mad , don't pay it!

Harleyband · 20/05/2021 17:36

@Doris86

Paying the bill wouldn’t make it easier and cheaper in the long run as your husband suggests OP. It would just prove to the neighbours that they can walk all over you, and they would continue to come back with more ridiculous demands for cash. You need to put your foot down now and say no.
This a thousand times! These CFs will absolutely take advantage. have they asked you to pay for the tarmac yet?
sue69m · 20/05/2021 17:41

Put a note back through their door telling them no to the driveway & no to the vet bill

Sarahrellyboo1987 · 20/05/2021 17:43

YANBU

Wouldn’t be paying the bill or destroying my garden.

I’d be ignoring the note.