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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours, parking and cats

323 replies

bibblebobbleblackbobble · 19/05/2021 10:35

Sorry for epic post. We've had civil but not friendly relations with our next door neighbours since they moved in 7 years ago. There is a two-part issue.

1.We have one car and half of our front garden is a driveway and the other half has plants and small trees on it. Next door has a smaller plot and have mostly a driveway with a hedge and raised planted border. This driveway could easily fit 2 cars if they were normal-sized and you could fit two massive ones if you paid attention (another nearby neighbour with a slightly smaller plot manages two vans). NDNs have two massive cars and a van. They park one car on the drive and the other car plus van on the road. I don't have a problem with this. However, they like to park as close to their house as possible and tended to block us in on our driveway. We would then have to ask them to move their car so we could get out. It was problematic late at night or in emergencies. So we started parking our car on the road in front of our house so that we wouldn't get blocked in. This means they either have to block their own car in or park slightly further away from their house.

  1. NDNs have several cats. One of them comes into our house constantly, shits everywhere, climbs on top of kitchen worktops and eats off plates etc. It just isn't housetrained. We had a cat years ago, so are aware it is possible to largely train a cat out of this behaviour. We have mentioned it, but get brushed off with amusing comments about how cats are our overlords and they go where they like etc. So we ensure that doors are kept shut, no large windows are open on the ground floor, and we spray water at cat when it manages to get in and boot it out. We have adapted our lifestyle to manage with the cat.
On Monday, NDN came to the front door as they have had a genius plan for dealing with the parking issue. I should dig up my front garden and tarmac it so we can park our car on the driveway making enough space for NDN to park one of their vehicles in front of my drive without blocking me in. This was presented as the obvious and only rational thing to do. I said I would discuss with DH but that I was very happy with my front garden as it was. While we were talking, the Cat of Doom shot between our legs, into the kitchen, jumped on worktops and attacked an open tin of tuna I was using when the doorbell rang. Cat cut itself on the tin, neighbour came in to help catch it and took it away. This morning, NDN have put a note through our door asking us to pay £800 vet bill for cat's injuries. DH says pay it (somehow) for a quiet life, but I think we need to take a stand now. AIBU?
OP posts:
whiteshark · 20/05/2021 17:43

They are fucking nuts

Jengadreads · 20/05/2021 17:45

@sundowners

Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND?????!!!!! Stop being such a complete muggy doormat. Of COURSE you shouldn't pay- infact you should present them a bill for the cost of cleaning up after their bloody cat, the cost of your tuna! AND tell them firmly their great idea re. driveway benefits no-one other than themselves so you definitely wont be considering it, and that's the end of the matter. Your husband sounds like an absolutely tool with zero backbone for even considering it. You do this- you are opening yourselves to a lifetime of them taking advantage. Use this situation to show them your (hidden!) strength. Grow some balls, please.
Couldn’t have put it better myself Wink
Annieconn · 20/05/2021 17:48

I first of all don't understand how the vet bill can be £800 but don't pay it.

We have similar situation in our drive where I asked a neighbour to move her car so we could get into our drive and was verbably attacked. Ended up having to make drive way bigger but still park in front of house / garden but at least now we can get out / in

AlwaysLatte · 20/05/2021 17:51

Why did someone ring the doorbell if you and the neighbour were standing on the doorstep?

Mgi4243765 · 20/05/2021 17:58

Pay it are you mad!!!! Tell them to duck off and keep their car out of your house simple! Signup your garden for their car! Am I really reading this??!!

Hertsgirl10 · 20/05/2021 18:18

I can’t believe this surely this isn’t true? WOWWW and I can not believe your husband said to pay it what the hell?!

No way don’t not pay it and get the rspca involved since they can’t keep their animals under control.

Scotland32 · 20/05/2021 18:40

That’s the most batshit thing I have ever read on MN. And as you will know, the competition is stiff. Unbelievable

Bekstar · 20/05/2021 18:50

If you pay your just opening yourself up for more harrasment. They clearly think your a soft touch. Issue d a reply stating that as their cat was trespassing at the time and she was present if anything she should have prevented that happening. Point out the numerous times the cat has damaged your belongings when it has got in and explain that if the cat gets in to your property again it will be handed over to animal control who will charge her to get it back. I'd also explain that you won't be adapting the drive to suit their parking either and if they block you driveway again you will be sending evidence to police and local council as it's now considered a crime to do so. I'd also add a counter bill for everything the cat has damaged so far. Yes cats are free creatures but your home is your private area and a cat owner still must do their best to ensure their cats are not a nuiceance, we had a similar issue with cat getting in. Cats are only protected from roaming outside not in others homes that's considered trespass.

caspersmagicaljourney · 20/05/2021 19:06

Tell your NDNs to do one in Foxtrox Oscar style.

caspersmagicaljourney · 20/05/2021 19:06

@caspersmagicaljourney

Tell your NDNs to do one in Foxtrox Oscar style.
foxtrot
peppermintpat · 20/05/2021 19:07

They see weakness and are coming after you.

Hertsgirl10 · 20/05/2021 19:13

What does your DH mean by it will be cheaper in the long run? Cheaper than what? I mean what is he expecting to happen in the future...

sjonlegs · 20/05/2021 19:20

Just move your fringe ... ah yes I see the MUG on your forehead!!

Under no circumstances would I pay! In fact if they're playing that game I would charge them for :-

Food eaten by cat
Cleaner - for when cat shits in house
Taxi - for when I can't get my car out of the drive
Rent - for said cat
... etc, etc....

Dearie me DO NOT let your neighbours take liberties - they need telling in not uncertain terms!

numberoneson · 20/05/2021 19:27

I have 6 cats at present, and I adore each & every one of them. Do I think they are entitled to be welcomed into my neighbours' houses? Do I F*ck. I'm sorry the cat was injured - the problem of fixing it is theirs. Suggest they ask the PDSA, or sell one of there unneccessary vehicles if they can't afford a vet. (Shouldn't have an animal in the first place if one can't budget in for vet bills!)

As to the garden/driveway - I'd have started laughing while they waited for their answer, then said "great joke!". CF's, do NOT engage with them any further - as previous posters have said, call 101any/every time they block you in, until they get the message.

Pinkfluff76 · 20/05/2021 19:30

Tell them to fuck off! For the cat and the driveway!

Tzimi · 20/05/2021 19:39

They're just trying it on! Under no circumstances pay the £800, or dig up your front garden!

Tzimi · 20/05/2021 19:41

My neighbour's cat used to come into my house, but he was well behaved, and besides he was friends with my cat, so that was ok. He used to like sitting in my (empty!) washing machine!

Jem57 · 20/05/2021 19:43

Tell me this is a joke🤬

StoneofDestiny · 20/05/2021 19:44

DH is not spineless, but his angle was that it may end up cheaper to pay this in the long run. They live next door and are capable of causing a lot of trouble and damage in our lives

You DH will make matters worse if he pays them! It would be like paying a blackmailer and imagining they won't come back for more.
You'll be like an free ATM point for your neighbours.

BanditoShipman · 20/05/2021 19:45

@colgatewhite

Did ye aye.
So, so true 🤣🤣
Leedsfan247 · 20/05/2021 19:50

Shut your door so the cat doesn’t come in.
If they are parking across a dropped kerb it’s illegal.

winterchills · 20/05/2021 19:52

The pure cheek! They really must see you both as an easy target

aiwblam · 20/05/2021 20:07

I think OP that they do see you as a pretty soft touch. You do need to put a stop to this.

I'd ignore the demand for the vet bill, wouldn't even enter into a discussion. Your dh must not have too much life experience to consider paying that.

Tell them your driveway is staying as it is and they absolutely must not block it anymore. You are on difficult ground here as there's not much you can do.

Michellelovesizzy · 20/05/2021 20:33

Loool that’s all I can say. Do not pay that do not change ur drive way.

TheJade · 20/05/2021 21:10

What dickheads.

Just give them a knock and they’ll them you won’t be paying. They don’t have a leg to stand on!