To keep a ‘bad’ dog?

[2ndaryInfertilityage30]

I’m sure I will be slated, but hear me out.

My dog is 2 - she was not a lock down dog. I bought her as a Cockerpoo with her dad being a toy poodle. She looks exactly like a large cocker spaniel and nothing like a cockerpoo. She is so so strong that my kids can’t walk her. She has pulled my mother in law over and she spent 5 days in hospital. (This lady is pretty strong)

I work just 8 hours a week, so I have time to walk her. She needs an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening otherwise she will destroy our house. I was prepared to walk a dog every day - come rain or sun, but her needs are excessive.

If I leave her for so much as an hour she will poop on the house in protest. When let off the lead we have the exhaust her with a game of fetch otherwise she will not come back (we have invested a lot of time and money in training) we offer her roast chicken as a treat - she will only come back when she feels like it.

She scratches all our doors and destroys the kids toys if anything is left out.

She is not the dog I thought I was getting (relatively small) she is medium to large and just so unruly. She is aggressive with other dogs (never us and she is very sweet with the children)

The kids love her, we always thought we were against the idea of re homing but this is getting out of hand.

I guess - AIBU to consider rehoming options - for her happiness and ours.

Her needs aren't being met at home at the moment, rehoming shouldn't be dismissed out of hand.
Have you considered a behaviourist, they might want to recc some different techniques before you move to rehoming.

Have you tried any training classes?

Apologies - I missed the part where you said you had been to training classes.

I think as a first step I'd be considering a behaviourist.

She sounds like a dog who needs a job to do. Do you know if she came from working lines?

You either need to get a behaviourist involved or rehome to someone who will train her properly.

And stop letting the dog off the lead when she doesn't have recall! Unless you're in a private secure field you are putting her and at risk, especially as she's dog aggressive.

Does your insurance cover a behaviourist? Some cover it through vet referrals so I would be checking that. I agree that she sounds like she needs a job to do, perhaps some dog agility courses?

You need to keep training and be consistent.

I don’t think needing 2, one hour walks is excessive.

If she’s aggressive with other dogs then I don’t think she should be off lead.

OP, this is so rough - I really feel for you. Dog 1 is went through a nightmare couple of years - I would say he finally settled down at about 5. It was so unexpected - I’ve been round dogs all my life, but he was something else. (And as I look at him now at the grand old age of 8, he’s lying on his back chewing the leg of dog 2, who is chewing her toy)

I think a behaviourist and really strong strict training, maybe crating to avoid the messing in the house when you are gone? You’ve probably tried that. If you can make her work for her food perhaps?

Try stimulating her mind, that can make them more tired than running for hours.

I don’t think this is the right match for either of you.

She is not the dog I thought I was getting

I was speaking with my trainer recently and he said that none of the cockerpoos he has worked with have been what he would predict they would be. He says it’s anybody’s guess what traits you end up with when you mix a cocker spaniel with a poodle. They’re quite an unknown entity. and I think they need to stop being bred

She is not ‘protesting’ at being left, she almost certainly has separation anxiety.
There might be many, many reasons for some of her other behaviours and the only way to find out what they are and how to fix them is to see a qualified behaviourist for a full assessment.
Whether you decide once you have this information to keep her or not, understanding the challenges will help her find the right home if you decide not to keep her and stop the poor dog from being passed from pillar to post.

Seems like the only kind and responsible thing to do imo

Sorry - I don’t think you are being unreasonable to consider re-homing her, if you are all unhappy, including the dog, then it’s a reasonable option -but this is probably the toughest stage of it all and I would exhaust all the behaviourist/training/crating methods first, consistently for months if possible.

You say you have "invested a lot of time and money in training". While you may have spent a lot of money, it seems that spending is what you did, not investing. You can spend what you like, but if it's not effective, then its not a good use of your money, or your time. I would suggest that you need to find a good trainer, which is not the same as an expensive trainer. Ask your vet for recommendations, take views from other owners locally, and while "Cockerpoo" isn't a breed, I would imagine there are specific groups online for that particular cross.

While you could put her up for rehoming, she would still need this training in order to be suitable for a new owner. Being blunt, she is your responsibility, and you need to find a solution for the problems, not to pass the problems on to someone else to deal with.

Wow - these are really helpful responses.

No we haven’t tried a behaviourist, just people that claims to be training ‘experts.’ The ‘experts’ all seem to do the same thing which is give a command and offer her a great if she does it (doesn’t seem like rocket science) and it’s what we have always done but she seems to be bright enough that she will pick and choose. We always say - she CAN follow our commands, she just may not choose to.

I think she’s a working cocker, and we’ve been grossly missold. I know cockerpoos are nuts but this is another level.

I hear you..... I also have a dog that’s been very hard to train and is still on an going process.

I’ve found a local gun dog trainer whose method I’m doing and I’ll share below. (I’ve previously tried puppy classes, KC classes, behaviourist 121)

We use a training lead on her, use it high up just behind their ears.
Dog has to sit or down and stay in the same position working up to 30 mins inside the house.
Whenever they get up or move, just correct with a ‘no’ and if need be a gentle push on the bum to sit.
Do this every day at least twice a day, but more if possible for Max 30 mins at a time.
Then do this in the garden.
Then start taking them places to do sit and stays.

During this s whole training time never let them off the lead, keep on a long line if needed.

Does your dog walk to heel? If not then also do x2 30 min training walks where the dog has to walk to heel, no matter if you only go 20 yards in the half hour.

Doing both of these is what’s finally getting through to my very boisterous and dominant dog. It’s like she’s finally realising that she’s not allowed to do whatever she wants whenever she wants!

Because of this, she’s actually being so much better behaved and suddenly our relationship and bond is improving too. I don’t feel like I’m telling her off all the time now either!

I am not someone who feels a dog is for life. I prefer to think in terms of doing what is best for the dog. I don't judge people who for some reason can no longer cope. We have two dogs that were given up as older puppies when the owners (different homes, different breeds) realised they couldn't meet their needs and we are so happy to have them.

So I wouldn't judge you if you decided to give her up but it really doesn't sound like you are ready to do that yet. If you have the time and resources to invest in her I would a behaviourist who is able to support you and turn her behaviour around. She sounds very hard work but very sweet.

Thanks for your input.

I took 4 months off work and spent every day training her. We got nowhere. So no. I did not just spend money, I invested a lot of time as I said.

Oh and I spent a fortune on the highly recommended behaviourist that was all treat training which did naff all when a more exciting distraction came along

This sounds very interesting and no we have not done this. I would imagine this would be a great challenge for her. I will certainly look into the gun dog trainer as I think this could be good.

Thanks for your input.

You need a behaviourist if your dog trainer failed to make a difference. How heavy is your dog? Mine is 87lbs but she doesn't really pull so hard that I would fall and I'm somewhere in the area of 95lbs.
Never use extendable leash for a pulling dog. A great double clip harness with a double clip leash is the best. Also, don't let her off the leash if she's not coming back. Ours is still a puppy in training and her recall would sometime suck so she's on the leash most of the time.
I know I will get some angry responses but all the cockerXYs hybrids we have met so far had issues with discipline and training. They're bred for looks and fashion and not for character and it shows.

If you're a responsible owner, I wouldn't recommend rehoming. You're just transferring the issues and problems with your dog on another owner and the dog will probably start bouncing between families who will be trying to rehome them after a while because they will find them unmanageable. Please don't punish your dog and other families.

Maybe try to meet her mental needs. Challenge her intelligence. Cockers are working dogs and need that stimulation.
In the meantime try flyball or agility classes if you have any nearby?x

Seconding @Undisclosedlocation sounds like separation anxiety, where she's so stressed that she has been left, she messes herself. There are techniques you can follow - have a look at Victoria Stilwell, if you haven't already. A behaviourist can help also.

The walking doesn't sound excessive. Do you play brain games inside or in the garden also, as these exhaust dogs more than physical exercises. A day a week at a dog daycare might help with socialisation - you'd have to let them know she can be reactive with other dogs. You can get special harnesses to help with the pulling.

Please don't rehome her right now, its the worst time, rescues are getting flooded with unwanted pets and some will be put down. Its heartbreaking

@2ndaryInfertilityage30

Thanks for your input.

I took 4 months off work and spent every day training her. We got nowhere. So no. I did not just spend money, I invested a lot of time as I said.

So as well as money, you spent a lot of time. It was not effective, so it wasn't really an investment. Training takes time, but it also needs to be right for the dog - and from what you've said, the training clearly wasn't right. So my previous advice still stands - you need to find the right trainer and the right training for your dog. Passing her on to a charity or another owner is simply passing your problem on to someone lese.