To keep a ‘bad’ dog?

[2ndaryInfertilityage30]

I’m sure I will be slated, but hear me out.

My dog is 2 - she was not a lock down dog. I bought her as a Cockerpoo with her dad being a toy poodle. She looks exactly like a large cocker spaniel and nothing like a cockerpoo. She is so so strong that my kids can’t walk her. She has pulled my mother in law over and she spent 5 days in hospital. (This lady is pretty strong)

I work just 8 hours a week, so I have time to walk her. She needs an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening otherwise she will destroy our house. I was prepared to walk a dog every day - come rain or sun, but her needs are excessive.

If I leave her for so much as an hour she will poop on the house in protest. When let off the lead we have the exhaust her with a game of fetch otherwise she will not come back (we have invested a lot of time and money in training) we offer her roast chicken as a treat - she will only come back when she feels like it.

She scratches all our doors and destroys the kids toys if anything is left out.

She is not the dog I thought I was getting (relatively small) she is medium to large and just so unruly. She is aggressive with other dogs (never us and she is very sweet with the children)

The kids love her, we always thought we were against the idea of re homing but this is getting out of hand.

I guess - AIBU to consider rehoming options - for her happiness and ours.

She sounds to me as though she may not be getting enough exercise. Two hours a day for a working dog is not a lot. If you tire her out she might be less destructive. We have a lab from working lines and he needs two two hour walks really plus playing in the garden.

’Bad dog’ for you OP

2hrs of exercise a day doesn’t sound unreasonable to me. I have a 3.5year old Bichon Frise (he’s small - 10kg) who needed at least that until the last 6months when he’s calmed a bit. I was doing an hour in the morning, an hour mid afternoon and a good early evening garden game session or another walk. Some high value chewing items (raw marrow bones being favourites) also helped.

I saw a behaviouralist for his pulling on the lead which helped and we are small and rural so opportunities to off-lead him despite his dodgy recall in enclosed stock-free fields. His recall got better once he realised he could come back and eat and treat and have a fuss and he wouldn’t go back on the lead every time!

I think your dog is higher energy and needs more stimulation than he’s getting and that’s causing most of the issues.

I have a working cocker - when we bought her the breeder advised, never give her an inch. She is from strong working lines. We walk her for about 2 hours a day and training is pretty much constant, she was also socialized from the day we got her. We now have a pretty fab dog but we will always have to keep her busy - its likely she will do agility once she is old enough.
I've got a few friends who bought cockapoos, i think the issue is as prev posters have said, if you get a cocker dominant dog you've got to keep them busy and treat them like a working dog, these are not pet type dogs.
In all honesty if you can't handle her I'd rehome, if cockers go "bad" the problems are huge, Spaniel Rescue have been flooded with lots of these dogs because people totally under estimate how intelligent and demanding these dogs are.

My dog is a "bad"dog. She is a working breed and tbh a bit of an arsehole. I absolutely adore her though - she is the best worst dog ever.

These are the things that make her liveable with:

-Off lead dog socials one evening per week. She started barking at dogs during lockdown, it looked like aggression but was frustrated hello.

-a day a week at a doggy daycare. Eight hours in a playbarn for dogs. She comes back exhausted and can be left for longer periods the following day.

• clear boundaries in the home and reinforced rules. It helped with her separation anxiety as the consistency let her know we were coming back.

Two year old was the worst time as she was a barky teenager/young adult. She is seven now and I am so glad we stuck with her. She is clever, funny and cuddly but all on her own terms.

I think she needs some brain work. If she’s a working cocker, look at finding a gundog trainer near you. Agility will also be a good one, she should be agile and speedy so you might have to run to keep up with her. I would also look at doing some scentwork. 10 minutes of scentwork is the equivalent to 1 hour walk. Once you’ve been taught how to do these things (safely in the case of agility) you can do them pretty much anywhere. If we see a fallen tree log on a walk, we get out dog to do some jumps over it and walk along them. We do gundog work on walks. Scentwork we do on walks, in the garden and in the living room.

She might also only just be coming out of her teenage years. It’s 18 months to 2 years that most dogs settle down but it’s not as simple as hitting two years old exactly and suddenly becoming calm. It does seem to happen like a light switch flipping, one day you go from pulling your hair and seemingly the next you have a nice pleasant dog. Ours was about 2 years and 4 months before the flip happened. Other dogs might be closer to 3, some dogs calm down at 1 year old. You just be unlucky in that she might be on the upper side of average.

"She was 12 weeks when we got her. Met mum and dad dogs."

Why was she 12 weeks old? Most puppies go at 8 weeks. Did she get returned to the breeder?

:She does always pull in the lead. She will suddenly dart at something and it can pull your arms off."

Literally all dogs do this unless trained not to, and even fairly well trained ones will occasionally pull of they see something interesting.

"I would be surprised at separation anxiety as she is very confident but perhaps. I can’t read her mind. I wish I could."

Any dog can develop separation anxiety at any age.
www.pets4homes.co.uk/pet-advice/managing-separation-anxiety-in-the-cockapoo.html

Why didn’t you do your research on cocker spaniels before you bought one? Two 1 hour walks a day is not excessive. Sounds like you need a low maintenance small lap dog, or no dog at all.

Helpful. I don’t know if you have realised - I am trying. I not some a hole locking her up like many do. We do as good a job as we have been advised to do so far with little luck. This thread has created some very enlightening solutions - which we are going to try.

Sounds to me like she needs some serious work to do. Work up to dog agility maybe?

I don't think you should re-home her. You do have plenty of time and the inclination. I can't see a good reason why anyone else rescuing her would have more resources, or be better able to meet her needs, than you do. Try a different behaviourist, I suspect you haven't found the right fit and she is a dog who needs to be challenged with training.

Also, great that she gets 2 hours of walks a day but I think you need to adjust your thinking from "oh that's so much" to that being completely normal and unexceptional.

I've got a few friends who bought cockapoos, i think the issue is as prev posters have said, if you get a cocker dominant dog you've got to keep them busy and treat them like a working dog, these are not pet type dogs

Yep, and if you add in the poodle intelligence you’ve got on that can work things out faster than you

Please stop trying one thing then another, and learn how to train and handle a working breed dog. You need to focus on these specific areas;

See a behaviourist and learn how to handle toilet training and separation anxiety.
Join a gundog or other working club, look into learning how to teach her to walk to heel when on the lead, recall, retrieve and scent work.

Hi OP

I agree with PP about doing the best for the dog. I don't doubt for one minute you've tried a lot of things. Sometimes dogs need and deserve more. If you try other ideas that posters have put and they don't work, it might be worth contacting your local police force as they sometimes take on dogs to train to become sniffer dogs etc. She sounds like she's a working dog and would do very well in this situation.

Good luck

@2ndaryInfertilityage30 know you're trying, and there have been some good ideas on the thread. I didn't even clock the age, but yes @InTheNightWeWillWish is right, you are at peak teenager. My dog regressed and was pretty naughty, ignored us etc at this age, and a few months later calmed down.

Doggy daycare is the best thing, even though we are both working from home, we still send him 2-3 days a week. A day a week will probably do wonders. He comes back knackered, well socialised, and very sleepy that night and some of the next day. We actually focused money here rather than a behaviourist, after the first few sessions.

Good luck! I think you can definitely do this

I'm not a dog trainer, but I have had dogs, and I don't think dogs poo "in protest".

I think they get anxious tummies just like us, and when you leave a dog with any level of separation anxiety they might suddenly find they need a shit because their stress levels are up.

I don't know, maybe that will change your perspective on things.

There is a lot of brilliant advice on this thread and completely agree it would be worth having a qualified behaviourist involved.

Often dogs need to be mentally as well as physically tired - have you thought about doing scent work with her? You and the children can play hide and seek either indoors or outside. There are videos on youtube.

This isn't in anyway something to do instead of a behaviourist but might be a nice activity to get her using her brain, plus something fun for you all - because dogs are meant to be fun!

@2ndaryInfertilityage30

Helpful. I don’t know if you have realised - I am trying. I not some a hole locking her up like many do. We do as good a job as we have been advised to do so far with little luck. This thread has created some very enlightening solutions - which we are going to try.

You don't come across as a-hole at all. Some dogs are just harder work, some kids are too - it doesn't make you a better owner or parent.

I love dogs and have had beautifully trained dogs in the past - my current hound regularly had me in tears of frustration when she was two. It will get better but it will take more work.

One suggestion you can do straight away - feed her meals on a snuffle mat or throw it into the grass. It will give her some "work" to do. How about some of the brain trainer toys too, or licky mats. We had a bonkers border collie who needed brain work. She slowed down eventually...

Hidden grated cheese in the garden or a Hankerchief with your scent on hidden are great games to use the brain, Kongs with stuffed with something and frozen, also DAP and the animal Rescue Remedy may help along side all the training suggestions x

If you are looking at rehoming centres I’d highly recommend Spaniel Aid and very thoroughly vet homes to find people experience with spaniels as they are dogs with high needs. They do such wonderful work with spaniels. Our springer came from them.

"I not some a hole locking her up like many do."

By "locking up", do you mean using a crate? I think they are very useful for training puppies. My dog doesn't have a crate now, but we used one from day one of bringing him home and the time he was two he could be left alone with full run of the house without destroying anything. We also crate trained our old rescue dog years ago. I'm not advising that you start using one, and leaving a dog for hours would be cruel, but they can be useful.

I'd go for a gun dog trainer too - sounds like you got a working cocker cross rather than show cocker and I've found the two to be very different in temperament. You have to have very high expectations and be very strict - loads of exercise. Could turn into an excellent dog - I'd say most dogs could do with a couple hours a day walking though, I don't think that's excessive at all - what about playing ball? Uses more energy and thought on the dogs part, also hiding treats round the house for her to find - I do this with a lab I look after, she loves it and searches the house the minute she arrives! Remember she's still young as well, she will calm down as she gets older.

I have a working cocker and she's a great pet. Don't write your cockapoo off just cos she might have working lines in her. There's been lots of good advice on this thread, although some stuff I disagree with too. A working cocker does not need 4 hours of walking a day! When mine was recovering from an operation she was getting 10 minutes a day and we entertained her with boredom busters and training and she was fine. But equally, an hour morning and night for a 2 year old doesn't sound 'excessive' necessarily. Mine is a terrible puller on the lead too, we've been consistently training lead walking for the past few months and only just seem to be getting somewhere. It's a long process.

OP, having a dog is hard. It sounds like you maybe weren't prepared for the dog you got (but I'm not sure anyone really is). I had severe puppy blues, she wasn't what I expected etc, but after some training and bonding I love her to bits now. It does sound like you would benefit from some professional support from a good trainer and behaviourist. I also always recommend Easy Peasy Puppy Squeezy, and the Facebook group Dog Training Advice and Support. It'll take you back to basics and help you see things from the dog's point of view. It doesn't sound like she's a bad dog, she maybe just hasn't quite been taught how to behave. There's a Facebook group called Canine Enrichment that might give you some ideas for entertaining her at home. Apart from her walks twice a day, what does she do to keep busy?

You got the dog for a reason and I think you have a duty to her to try to help her. If you try again and can't do it, then consider rehoming. For both your sakes.

There are several cockapoo groups on FB, which have some good advice. I have one, in her waking hours, 11-8, she needs at least two walks and likes to play in the garden with us. They are lively dogs. Sniffing also tires them out so make sure she has plenty of opportunity for that, plus they like variety so try to mix up her walks. Mine is a well built girl and very strong! Good luck.

Have a look (and join) ReactiveDogsUK on fb.. (and on the web too) It's £3 a month subscription but worth every penny.... they follow the CARE protocol which teaches you to replace reactive and unwanted behaviours with appropriate ones.. and it's force free.
They will also link you to a fully qualified (can't rem the acronyms sorry) behaviourist near you.

2 hours a day is about standard for walks ..mine needs that and she's not a madly active breed. The pooing... anxiety..the dog reactivity.. also anxiety. Many many dogs are fine as puppies but become anxious as they grow..mine was anxious from the start.. but 99% of reactivity is fear or frustration (frustrated greeters want to meet other dogs but can't read the social signals)

Long line for walks... mine has just turned 2 and has a high prey drive so if I have ANY doubt... it's a long line while we continue to work on recall. Does she recall perfectly every time in the house? If not.. then she should not be off lead outside!

We train every evening.. just 15 mins.. one of us hides and blows the whistle and she has to find us immediately for a treat. And we do it outside in a safe area.. gradually it is becoming automatic for her to stop... dash back to us and she gets tons of praise. It works but it has to be consistent.

Do you have stair gates? If she is destructive.. gate off the more delicate areas!

She doesn't sound uncontrollable.. you just haven't had the right support yet and she's young. Mine is selectively reactive, and sometimes I don't read her signals but I'm learning to work with her... we have lots of walks in deserted places where neither she or I worry, and if she sees a dog that makes her stressed , we turn and go. Mine is very strong (and a lot bigger than a cocker) so she had to learn not to pull. She wears a harness as I don't like collars for walks but we practised quick turns over and over again until she learned to walk by my side..it didn't take long ..there are plenty of youtube videos on this.

You can sort this.. :) (and you have my empathy... mine isn't the 'easy' dog I was expecting but I have confidence we can improve her day by day!)