Sorry OP! I'm going to pick that apart. I have a 2 1/2 year old Bull Terrier and he too is a handful. Training classes aren't much good, you need a behaviourist. Having said that did you go through the 'watch me' training, waiting for the dog to look towards you, make eye contact, and treat her just for that look? That's a really strong 'trick' you can use in everything else.
I still do it, sit with a packet of treats and throw one away from me, wait until dog has chewed it and looks back, throw another with "YES, Good dog" or whatever your reward cue is (clicker etc). When this works at home, and in the garden take it out to your nearest bench, work up the distraction levels - I now do this at a bus stop, people are quite happy to be a distraction if they see what you are doing!
But you need your dog to look to you for reassurance, to check in with you.
My dog is 2 - she was not a lock down dog. I bought her as a Cockerpoo with her dad being a toy poodle. She looks exactly like a large cocker spaniel and nothing like a cockerpoo. She is so so strong that my kids can’t walk her. She has pulled my mother in law over and she spent 5 days in hospital. (This lady is pretty strong) Pulling can be trained out but it needs 100% consistancy. You'll need a well fitting harness, preferable one with 2 anchor points, the one at the front turns the dog toward you when they pull, and maybe a waist strap for you. Walk the dog with a bag of any puppy training treats - the fussiness is because that's what you give her.
- walk her and every single time the lead goes taut you stop, wait for her to turn and look at you, treat cue and throw a treat in front of you but behind her back legs.
- It doesn't matter how long you stop or how daft you feel, consistency is key. One pull she wins will set you back.
You can segue that back into heel training after a while. Once she works out that treats come close to you!
I work just 8 hours a week, so I have time to walk her. She needs an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening otherwise she will destroy our house. I was prepared to walk a dog every day - come rain or sun, but her needs are excessive. That's not excessive but you could make it easier for yourself (and it might help with the poo issue too). Mine won't use the garden for toileting. So I have to walk him every couple of hours, Great as it fits in with my work schedule. He gets 4 or 5 10 - 20 minute walks every day. He gets to sniff every blade of grass, lamp post etc. I ask for nothing other than he does not pull.
Then he gets one hour plus walk, sometimes off lead because I can recall him with a ball, or a crowd training walk through a town centre. Town centre walks he still gets to sniff but is also asked to walk to heel and to ignore other dogs and people who want to pet him - I have a TRAINING sleeve on his lead. When people ask what he is training for I say "To be polite"
If I leave her for so much as an hour she will poop on the house in protest. When let off the lead we have the exhaust her with a game of fetch otherwise she will not come back (we have invested a lot of time and money in training) we offer her roast chicken as a treat - she will only come back when she feels like it. The pooing might just be coincidence, see above. Have those traning sessions been with an trainer who is also a behaviourist? They'll tell you that your dog is bored, anxious etc and will work with you to find sessions that suit you and the dog - but mostly they will train YOU to see the dog's behaviour for what it really is!
Recall is really important. I struggled wth this and can see it will become an issue again in future. I carry a long line with me and a bag of various toys and a few balls. He is ball obsessed so they are my toy of last resort.
We go out and we do recall training. Same as the watch me stuff but with added distance. I also taught 'touch' to make this easier, my right hand is always the touch target, it gets him back to me, usually. I can't do 'come' or any of the usual recall cues as they have been wrecked by my own misuse and errors. So I am reduced to "What's This?" whilst holding a ball in the air. He will return for that, but even that is reducing as he gets used to it, so I am working on his next step. You need to work out what your dog's motivation to return could be and then work on it!
She scratches all our doors and destroys the kids toys if anything is left out. Doors are there to be scratched, take heed the forst time she puts paw to door. Kids toys left out belong to her. Teach your kids thatanythingleft for her to reaach has been donated to her. Tough! Same goes for reading glasses, laptop cables, table corners (though Tabasco sauce can help you there), jumpers, shoes etc etc
She is not the dog I thought I was getting (relatively small) she is medium to large and just so unruly. She is aggressive with other dogs (never us and she is very sweet with the children) How aggressive? Barking, lunging or actual teeth and flying fur? Mine lunges and twirls but has no aggression, he just wants to play. He looks bloody scary though! Offlead he has no reactivity at all. In lead he needs a lot of help.
- distance. You stop and ask her to wait, drop treats in front of her nose and hold her still until the other dog has passed. Keep your distance, 10 feet as a minimum, though we started with 'other side of the road'. I am at about 5 feet if I am lucky now, but I have to have got his atention before he keys into the other dog .
The kids love her, we always thought we were against the idea of re homing but this is getting out of hand. You can only step up and spend a month or so focussing on nothing but her needs, her behaviour and how to read it.
I guess - AIBU to consider rehoming options - for her happiness and ours. Or you can do a lot of looking for a very good next home.
You need to decide whether or not you can give her the next few months of your life, to undo the damage done and to work on reassuring her that you are in charge and she can and should trust you.
It's hard, time consuming and truly fucking irritating. But at her age you have done the worst bit, got through puppy teeth!
Best of luck no matter what you decide.