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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Identifying a pedophile to his neighbours

637 replies

Bipitybopityboop · 17/05/2021 23:20

If you found out, through work, that a pedophile was going to live on a certain street near you.
Would you anonymously let the neighbourhood know?

Would you want to know?

This could not be traced back to one individual.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 18/05/2021 10:06

But for starters, there needs to be a distinction between under age girls and child abuse images.

Under age girls are children. By definition.

theDudesmummy · 18/05/2021 10:09

Menat @Iminaglasscaseofemotion sorry

Lochroy · 18/05/2021 10:10

@Bipitybopityboop

Just think of a very large organisation with open plan offices. The information was verbally heard by and also digitally available to A LOT of people.

It's a convicted pedophile.

In this situation, the right thing to do is go back to the person who erroneously shared it and make sure they know what they did and they don't do it again. You then erase it from your memory.

eandz13 · 18/05/2021 10:10

I cannot believe someone has just put a paedophile, and someone wanting to beat a paedophile in the same bracket. What the fuck is wrong with people. Paedophiles deserve to be tortured and strung up with barbed wire! They should lose every right of anonymity too!

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 18/05/2021 10:10

There was a convicted female placed 20 feet away from a nursery here, 40 yards from a primary school and the flat sat on top of a shop the school children all lived. She was in jail for 18 months. How did we all know? It was in the paper, and we all knew who she was.
I also went to school with a girl who was very violently raped as a baby. A FUCKING BABY! I won't go into detail because it is very very distressing and outing. I know of several people who were assaulted as children, including my mum. So to all the apologists on this thread, forgive me for not sharing your concern for sex offenders and child abusers and rapists (or just the ones who like watching it). I think I will have to leave this thread now.

RoseRedRoseBlue · 18/05/2021 10:11

@Naunet I am not suggesting you ignore anything. I am sick to death of any contrary viewpoint on this thread being taken to mean that the author must be some sort of ‘paedophile sympathiser’. It’s offensive, desperate and indicative of total ignorance. The vast majority of people working in this field are dedicated and decent people. If you don’t want to accept that, quite frankly that’s your lookout.

theDudesmummy · 18/05/2021 10:12

The fact that the "authorities" (of all kinds), including the police, have failed spectacularly in many cases to protect children is not in doubt. No-one could ever dispute that. But redressing that by encouraging potential vigilantes is not the answer. Providing the best training and greater resources is.

Ginuwine · 18/05/2021 10:12

[quote Naunet]**@Naunet, again, some context please

So you want us to ignore the many massive, massive failures the police have made over the years, and continue to make, that have resulted in many children being raped and abused, and just look at the good stories where the police did their job? Nope, I expect better. Thousands of children having their lives ruined because the police didn’t want to get involved, is not acceptable collateral damage to me, maybe it is to you? But then you seem to have far more empathy with the police and child abusers than you do for the actual victims.[/quote]

Whoa that is a really extreme statement at the end there.

IloveJKRowling · 18/05/2021 10:13

By the way, the OP has said that she would inform people of the fact a convicted paedophile lives in the neighbourhood.

She hasn't said she would 'encourage' vigilante action.

Are we not allowed to talk about crimes now just in case someone might hurt the criminals feelings?

If he's convicted, the information will be public domain. Sharing public domain information is not wrong in any way, ever.

Also, people always talk about this 'vigilante' action but in my experience nothing of the sort occurred.

Fieldsofstars · 18/05/2021 10:14

‘ PeriMisabastard

They’re not exactly after fully clothed children are they op

Are you not attracted to people wearing clothes? Do you think the clothes are some magical barrier for children, adults?

Gosh if only rape and sexual assault victims had worn clothes to protect them from predators’

The majority of them are after photos rather than actual physical victims so in this case yes, clothes are important, I would say.

theDudesmummy · 18/05/2021 10:14

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion I am not an apologist for anything. I never said I condoned sex offending, only that (1) someone has to work with sex offenders to try and decrease their risk of re-offending (and vigilante justice is not the way to do it) and (2) in some cases it is possible to decrease the risk

RoseRedRoseBlue · 18/05/2021 10:14

@Ginuwine the only person looking questionable here is Naunet.

Battleaxeoutofhell · 18/05/2021 10:15

A pedophile, or a child abuser?

Naunet · 18/05/2021 10:15

@Naunet I am not suggesting you ignore anything. I am sick to death of any contrary viewpoint on this thread being taken to mean that the author must be some sort of ‘paedophile sympathiser’. It’s offensive, desperate and indicative of total ignorance. The vast majority of people working in this field are dedicated and decent people. If you don’t want to accept that, quite frankly that’s your lookout

I don’t except that we should blindly trust the police to protect us from this stuff. I don’t accept that paedophiles “change”, I don’t accept that they are some kind of victim, I don’t accept that the victims are not the priority.

I was sexually abused as a toddler. The amount of times it has been suggested to me that I should see him as some kind of victim, that he couldn’t help it, that I need to forgive him, absolutely sickens me. My anger, my pain is second to his. And it’s people like you that create that culture.

RoseRedRoseBlue · 18/05/2021 10:16

@theDudesmummy whatever you say, Iminaglasscase is going to attack you. It doesn’t matter if you talk of experience, facts or evidence.

Naunet · 18/05/2021 10:17

@Ginuwine the only person looking questionable here is Naunet

Ha! And yet again, I’m the bad guy who needs to check their thinking. 🙄

theDudesmummy · 18/05/2021 10:17

Oh vigilante-type actions relaly do occur. maybe not always a baying mob. But, as has been mentioned upthread, things like graffiti, threats open and veiled, shunning, isolating, jeering, low level assaults, higher level assaults, etc etc. None of which helps to decrease reoffending risk and may increase it.

LolaSmiles · 18/05/2021 10:17

IloveJKRowling
There's a huge difference between sharing information you have found out at work, and sharing a news article with information in the public domain.
If the OP doesn't understand the difference then I'd question whether she should be doing a job that gives her access to sensitive information.

RoseRedRoseBlue · 18/05/2021 10:18

@Naunet, blaming me or labelling me part of the problem is way, way off track. You have no idea how I work, do my job or manage people.

RoseRedRoseBlue · 18/05/2021 10:19

@Naunet actually yes, when it comes to calling me part of the problem you DO need to check your thinking.

GrumpyHoonMain · 18/05/2021 10:19

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

There was a convicted female placed 20 feet away from a nursery here, 40 yards from a primary school and the flat sat on top of a shop the school children all lived. She was in jail for 18 months. How did we all know? It was in the paper, and we all knew who she was. I also went to school with a girl who was very violently raped as a baby. A FUCKING BABY! I won't go into detail because it is very very distressing and outing. I know of several people who were assaulted as children, including my mum. So to all the apologists on this thread, forgive me for not sharing your concern for sex offenders and child abusers and rapists (or just the ones who like watching it). I think I will have to leave this thread now.
One of my relatives was raped as an eight year old. She used a colostomy bag and has such severe internal damage she struggles to get about without a wheelchair even 40 years later. These pedophile apologists make me sick.
theDudesmummy · 18/05/2021 10:19

I have also worked for decades with perpetrators of homicide. Does that make me an "apologist" for murderers? Of course not.

MissScotland101 · 18/05/2021 10:19

I think it depends on if there are kids in the street and if the said paedophile was getting access to the kids.

I have read that paedophiles definitely won’t be rehabilitated if all there neighbours find out who they are and then harass them but I don’t think offending paedophiles ever rehabilitate, and for them, or their psychiatrists to blame their reoffending on everyone except the paedophile sounds like quite enabling behaviour.

Any chance you can just tell the people who have kids or who babysit kids, that there is a paedophile in the neighbourhood?

It’s difficult but as a parent then I would want to know, criminals often have more rights than the innocent kids.

MissScotland101 · 18/05/2021 10:20

Their neighbours not there Confused

GrumpyHoonMain · 18/05/2021 10:22

[quote RoseRedRoseBlue]@Naunet actually yes, when it comes to calling me part of the problem you DO need to check your thinking.[/quote]
I think you need to check your thinking for trying to minimise pedophilia to a victim. do you seriously have no compassion?