Identifying a pedophile to his neighbours

[Bipitybopityboop]

If you found out, through work, that a pedophile was going to live on a certain street near you.
Would you anonymously let the neighbourhood know?

Would you want to know?

This could not be traced back to one individual.

[EishetChayil]

@HeddaGarbled

Not unless you’re comfortable with them being beaten up by vigilante thugs.

Fine by me.

[gingganggooleywotsit]

@reallyreallyborednow

Look it up for yourself how many kids are missing, and attempted kidnappings

I did. The stats aren’t matching what you are seeing on social media.

There are currently 26 children missing in London.

Your stats mean nothing when I see every day people attempting and actually kidnapping these kids

You’re seeing this personally, first hand?

They may have been kidnapped and returned. Doesn’t mean they are still missing if they have been abducted.

[00100001]

Otherwise, it's easy to assume all dogs without notes/labels are safe to approach*
Sorry meant to add, some dogs may not have been labelled yet, or their labels were lost...or something traumatic happened to an otherwise docile dog and their behaviours have changed etc.

[00100001]

@powershowerforanhour

To everyone saying, oh it's your husband/dad/granny/nice Brownie leader who is the one who is going to be savagely raping your your child every weekend and twice in Thursdays so it doesn't benefit you to know about the convicted child sex offender next door...hmm.

What if it was you. You're most likely to be raped and killed by your hitherto nice boyfriend or husband than some random, right? Bet you'd still like to know if Vincent Tabak moved in next door, when he gets out. I would modify my behaviour- at present I leave the bins out after dark at times and in my old house would have walked the (well lit village residential main street) 50 yards home from the pub alone, and would happily chat to a male neighbour then go through my front door with my back to the street and no rape alarm in my hand.

In work, I attach various notes to certain dogs' records. "CARE- will snap without warning" "OK for most of exam but go slow and muzzle for injections" or the odd "*DANGER* Will go for you and mean it. MUST arrive securely muzzled. Bring through empty carpark and in and out via back door. Sedate flat to do anything with. Dangerous dog, have advised euthanasia but owner refuses and does not seem to accept gravity of behaviour+potential consequences".
Should I just put nothing on the record and expect the other vets and nurses to exercise exactly the same level of caution with the absolute sweethearts, the tense-but-generally-OK ones and the ones that I know (but they do not) to be dangerous zero warning fuckers with stupid owners, and tell them that it was their own stupid fault when I'm visiting them in the facial plastic surgery ward in hospital?

If you're using dogs as ana analogy, at least get it right.



The public should be assuming the dog is dangerous regardless of any labels.


Otherwise, it's easy to assume all dogs without notes/labels are safe to approach. Thus you are likely to get bitten by the friendly dog.



If you assume all dogs are a danger, you will take necessary precautions AT ALL TIMES WITH ALL DOGS.

[Allington]

To continue your analogy, the general public would be expected to know not to approach a strange dog as there is the potential it is aggressive.

[Allington]

@powershowerforanhour

To everyone saying, oh it's your husband/dad/granny/nice Brownie leader who is the one who is going to be savagely raping your your child every weekend and twice in Thursdays so it doesn't benefit you to know about the convicted child sex offender next door...hmm.

What if it was you. You're most likely to be raped and killed by your hitherto nice boyfriend or husband than some random, right? Bet you'd still like to know if Vincent Tabak moved in next door, when he gets out. I would modify my behaviour- at present I leave the bins out after dark at times and in my old house would have walked the (well lit village residential main street) 50 yards home from the pub alone, and would happily chat to a male neighbour then go through my front door with my back to the street and no rape alarm in my hand.

In work, I attach various notes to certain dogs' records. "CARE- will snap without warning" "OK for most of exam but go slow and muzzle for injections" or the odd "*DANGER* Will go for you and mean it. MUST arrive securely muzzled. Bring through empty carpark and in and out via back door. Sedate flat to do anything with. Dangerous dog, have advised euthanasia but owner refuses and does not seem to accept gravity of behaviour+potential consequences".
Should I just put nothing on the record and expect the other vets and nurses to exercise exactly the same level of caution with the absolute sweethearts, the tense-but-generally-OK ones and the ones that I know (but they do not) to be dangerous zero warning fuckers with stupid owners, and tell them that it was their own stupid fault when I'm visiting them in the facial plastic surgery ward in hospital?

The professionals working with the offender of course will have access to the information.

Depending on the level of risk they may disclose it to others for their protection - but specific people in specific contexts, not every random person in the neighbourhood.

[ConcernedCBMum]

@felulageller would you allow your child to sleepover at a friend's house? I know it's a totally 'normal' thing to do but honestly j feel very nervous about it.

[powershowerforanhour]

It's a bit freaky isn't it? If I have had a busy day at work, gone shopping and stopped to talk to male friends and acquaintances I sometimes think well, the odds are that I've exchanged pleasantaries with a few fellas who wank off to varying degrees of torture porn, one or two who hit their wives and at least one with paedo tendencies. But which ones? I don't really enjoy watching male professional sport now (I used to love watching rugby) cos I'm just thinking right which of ye are beating your partners and which of ye are getting teenage girls drunk and raping them in hotel rooms?

[Maggiesfarm]

[quote EmeraldShamrock]@Maggiesfarm It was eye opening. [/quote]
That it was. We really do not know the people we come alongside all the time. That is what is chilling.

Always, when a sex offender is caught and in the news, there will be people who knew him/her and never, in a million years, would have guessed. Maybe even their boss. Before the trial they will be saying, sometimes in an interview, that it is impossible, they've know him well for years, etc.

That isn't surprising because most have been duped in one way or another at least once, and a paedophile would be so very adept at cultivating genuinely-seeming friendships and work relationships.

Scary stuff.

[felulageller]

I've had a job where I've been privy to child sex abusers' addresses.

What I learned is that they are EVERYWHERE.

After doing that job I'd never leave any of my DC's in the care of anyone who wasn't a close female relative.

There are so many cases that don't even get convictions because DC's tend not to disclose until any physical evidence is gone.

So it doesn't really matter about this particular one you know. Parents should all be a lot more thoughtful about who's around their DC's.

[powershowerforanhour]

To everyone saying, oh it's your husband/dad/granny/nice Brownie leader who is the one who is going to be savagely raping your your child every weekend and twice in Thursdays so it doesn't benefit you to know about the convicted child sex offender next door...hmm.

What if it was you. You're most likely to be raped and killed by your hitherto nice boyfriend or husband than some random, right? Bet you'd still like to know if Vincent Tabak moved in next door, when he gets out. I would modify my behaviour- at present I leave the bins out after dark at times and in my old house would have walked the (well lit village residential main street) 50 yards home from the pub alone, and would happily chat to a male neighbour then go through my front door with my back to the street and no rape alarm in my hand.

In work, I attach various notes to certain dogs' records. "CARE- will snap without warning" "OK for most of exam but go slow and muzzle for injections" or the odd "DANGER Will go for you and mean it. MUST arrive securely muzzled. Bring through empty carpark and in and out via back door. Sedate flat to do anything with. Dangerous dog, have advised euthanasia but owner refuses and does not seem to accept gravity of behaviour+potential consequences".
Should I just put nothing on the record and expect the other vets and nurses to exercise exactly the same level of caution with the absolute sweethearts, the tense-but-generally-OK ones and the ones that I know (but they do not) to be dangerous zero warning fuckers with stupid owners, and tell them that it was their own stupid fault when I'm visiting them in the facial plastic surgery ward in hospital?

[EmeraldShamrock]

@Maggiesfarm It was eye opening.

[Maggiesfarm]

@EmeraldShamrock

I watched a documentary on C4 police chasing paedophiles in one area alone Hampshire, the police deal with a new case of indecent sexual images of DC every single day. Reports from internet providers have increased year on year for the last 4 years.
I think it is safe to assume there is one on every street.

I saw that too, it wasn't easy viewing, I missed some bits. People don't realise how slippery and plausible paedophiles are.

[Maggiesfarm]

@OhWhyNot

I to have been very wary of bringing another man into ds life

I am shocked how many sensible women I know that will do quickly introduce a new man

And as for someone just popping round for sex while the children are sleeping is just stupidity that is exactly the situation these predators are hoping for

You are right. It takes a long time to really get to know someone and even then, they could fool you but at least you tried.

It does seem seriously tacky to introduce a new fella to a child or children too quickly. However I was never a one parent family, I sometimes wonder how I would have been had I been on my own with a child in my twenties. As a young adult I wasn't all that sensible and often judged characters poorly. I outgrew that, married husband etc, etc, but I could have found myself in that position as a girl.

[OhWhyNot]

I to have been very wary of bringing another man into ds life

I am shocked how many sensible women I know that will do quickly introduce a new man

And as for someone just popping round for sex while the children are sleeping is just stupidity that is exactly the situation these predators are hoping for

[EmeraldShamrock]

I watched a documentary on C4 police chasing paedophiles Forgot to add, I wouldn't advise watching it, I turned it off after 20 mins.

[EmeraldShamrock]

And this is why I, a single mum, will never have a relationship while my child is living in my house. I do not trust anyone and would be devastated if this ever happened to DS.
If my DC's father died or left tomorrow I'd be the same. I've seen lines blurred as a DC with friends and DM's partner for a host of reasons. I'm married/committed to the DC first.

[EmeraldShamrock]

I watched a documentary on C4 police chasing paedophiles in one area alone Hampshire, the police deal with a new case of indecent sexual images of DC every single day. Reports from internet providers have increased year on year for the last 4 years.
I think it is safe to assume there is one on every street.

[00100001]

@Waxonwaxoff0

There's definitely a balance to be had between protecting children and living life.

We can't live life not trusting anyone, otherwise you'd never let your child stay at grandparents... Cousins... Friends even for an hour.


It is difficult.

[Waxonwaxoff0]

@LizzieW1969

*Again, you should be taking necessary precautions regardless. Because for every convicted paedophile there's probably 3..4..5..+ unconvicted paedophiles with access to your child....*.

This is something all mothers need to really take on board. Because these unconvicted paedophiles are regularly in relationships, with young children. This was the case with my F; my DM had no idea, until my DSis and I told her a few years ago. She was devastated.

And this is why I, a single mum, will never have a relationship while my child is living in my house. I do not trust anyone and would be devastated if this ever happened to DS.

[LolaSmiles]

Yes, the "best" (for lack of a better term?) offenders actually groom the parents before the child.
The fact so many people don't see this, and focus more on stranger/random attacks goes to show how low your average person's knowledge is safeguarding is. It's something I've noticed across several threads here.

[00100001]

Yes, the "best" (for lack of a better term?) offenders actually groom the parents before the child...

[LolaSmiles]

Again, you should be taking necessary precautions regardless. Because for every convicted paedophile there's probably 3..4..5..+ unconvicted paedophiles with access to your child....
I wish this was the main take away from this thread.
The idea of stranger danger, the pervy man on the corner, kidnappings by strangers as the main safeguarding threat doesn't match the reality of where most harm is done: in the home or by those close to the child.
The first thing you're told is that it could happen anywhere, to anyone. That means that your lovely new date who gets on swimmingly and adores your kids should be viewed the same as a random single man who moves in down the street. Many child sex offenders look and behave like normal nice people, they are talented in the art of grooming and manipulation.
That's before you consider the impact of predatory adults grooming children online, on gaming platforms, on social media that that child is too young for, and so on. The devices in many children's pockets and bedrooms are a much bigger access point than your average stranger.

[LizzieW1969]

Again, you should be taking necessary precautions regardless. Because for every convicted paedophile there's probably 3..4..5..+ unconvicted paedophiles with access to your child.....

This is something all mothers need to really take on board. Because these unconvicted paedophiles are regularly in relationships, with young children. This was the case with my F; my DM had no idea, until my DSis and I told her a few years ago. She was devastated.

[LizzieW1969]

Strangers aren’t likely to snatch a child off the street (I know it happens, but it’s rare). They’re more likely to target children online these days; sadly that happened to my DD2 (then 7) around 15 months ago. She was targeted via the online game roblox.