Identifying a pedophile to his neighbours

[Bipitybopityboop]

If you found out, through work, that a pedophile was going to live on a certain street near you.
Would you anonymously let the neighbourhood know?

Would you want to know?

This could not be traced back to one individual.

[Allington]

So, back to my question - if you discover a neighbour is a convicted child sex offender, what would you do differently than you are now? How would you protect you child any more than you are doing already?

I suggest you start doing that, whatever it is, as you certainly have child sex offenders in your community right now.

[00100001]

@Hertsgirl10

So all children need to be constantly treated as it a predator is around 24/7 but the actual problem can walk freely, do what they like and carry on as long as the kids can’t live properly.

I do get what you’re saying and yes I do live like that, always have done. Never left my children with anyone aside from 2 family members.

The point is we should not have to worry and more needs to be done.

And the person that said kidnap is extremely rare. More than once a day in London children are being kidnapped .... where have you been?

People are patrolling in the mornings and after school now. It’s happening it’s real.

Black children are being targeting at a very huge level. If you’re not seeing this then you’re choosing not to. But believe me it’s happening. Every single day.

But the real danger to your child is those two family members.

[00100001]

@Talkintothewall

I strongly disagree with those who think they wouldn't take a different approach to safeguarding if they were aware of convicted paedophiles living beside them. I used to live very firmly in the sensible precautions/can't live in fear camp. I was also very aware of how the greater risk is often from people close to a child. I carefully weighed up the risks versus my children's need for independence etc. I definitely changed my approach when the risk was real and known.

I am not advocating for addresses etc to be published whatever. But I do firmly think that many parents massively underestimate the risk around our children.

I firmly think that many parents massively
underestimate the risk of trusted adults around our children.


The risk of a paedophile kidnapping and raping a child is significantly lower than than the same child being raped by their parent, sibling, cousins, Uncle/aunt, family friends etc

[Talkintothewall]

Allington I did many things. I upped my honesty about the risks that exist when I talked to DC. I revisited where I had drawn lines in terms of their freedom. And specifically I stopped letting my youngest out of sight in a place frequented by someone with convictions. Because responding a known threat is different to a general one. Those who monitor/supervise offenders treat known risks different to general risks.

[PearlclutchersInc]

Keep your nose out of what doesn't concern you.

[Talkintothewall]

@00100001 I actually think the message that danger is more likely to be from someone known has been so strong that it has resulted in danger from strangers being dismissed as hysteria/News of the world readers overreaction etc. Definitely in my circle of friends that is the case.

[Summercocktailsinthesnow]

I seriously think most parents on here would be horrified if they knew the true scale and volume of convictions and arrests being made.

You absolutely need to tell others with children, so that they can take the necessary precautions, to do anything else is irresponsible. They are not monitored around the clock, and it will be too late to reverse the damage of yet another child coming to harm.

[Waxonwaxoff0]

@Summercocktailsinthesnow

I seriously think most parents on here would be horrified if they knew the true scale and volume of convictions and arrests being made.

You absolutely need to tell others with children, so that they can take the necessary precautions, to do anything else is irresponsible. They are not monitored around the clock, and it will be too late to reverse the damage of yet another child coming to harm.

Surely you should be taking the necessary precautions anyway, as anyone could be a paedophile. Your next door neighbour could and you wouldn't know.

[00100001]

@Summercocktailsinthesnow

I seriously think most parents on here would be horrified if they knew the true scale and volume of convictions and arrests being made.

You absolutely need to tell others with children, so that they can take the necessary precautions, to do anything else is irresponsible. They are not monitored around the clock, and it will be too late to reverse the damage of yet another child coming to harm.

Again, you should be taking necessary precautions regardless. Because for every convicted paedophile there's probably 3..4..5..+ unconvicted paedophiles with access to your child....

[theDudesmummy]

@00100001

That is exactly right, succinctly put and exactly right. It would be good if this long and sometimes acrimonious thread led to just a little greater awareness of that fact.

[theDudesmummy]

@Summercocktailsinthesnow

I know what most parents on here would be horrified if they knew the true scale and volume of convictions and arrests NOT being made of actual or potential sex offenders who have not been detected yet.

[flaminjo]

Don't risk your job OP

[LizzieW1969]

Strangers aren’t likely to snatch a child off the street (I know it happens, but it’s rare). They’re more likely to target children online these days; sadly that happened to my DD2 (then 7) around 15 months ago. She was targeted via the online game roblox.

[LizzieW1969]

Again, you should be taking necessary precautions regardless. Because for every convicted paedophile there's probably 3..4..5..+ unconvicted paedophiles with access to your child.....

This is something all mothers need to really take on board. Because these unconvicted paedophiles are regularly in relationships, with young children. This was the case with my F; my DM had no idea, until my DSis and I told her a few years ago. She was devastated.

[LolaSmiles]

Again, you should be taking necessary precautions regardless. Because for every convicted paedophile there's probably 3..4..5..+ unconvicted paedophiles with access to your child....
I wish this was the main take away from this thread.
The idea of stranger danger, the pervy man on the corner, kidnappings by strangers as the main safeguarding threat doesn't match the reality of where most harm is done: in the home or by those close to the child.
The first thing you're told is that it could happen anywhere, to anyone. That means that your lovely new date who gets on swimmingly and adores your kids should be viewed the same as a random single man who moves in down the street. Many child sex offenders look and behave like normal nice people, they are talented in the art of grooming and manipulation.
That's before you consider the impact of predatory adults grooming children online, on gaming platforms, on social media that that child is too young for, and so on. The devices in many children's pockets and bedrooms are a much bigger access point than your average stranger.

[00100001]

Yes, the "best" (for lack of a better term?) offenders actually groom the parents before the child...

[LolaSmiles]

Yes, the "best" (for lack of a better term?) offenders actually groom the parents before the child.
The fact so many people don't see this, and focus more on stranger/random attacks goes to show how low your average person's knowledge is safeguarding is. It's something I've noticed across several threads here.

[Waxonwaxoff0]

@LizzieW1969

*Again, you should be taking necessary precautions regardless. Because for every convicted paedophile there's probably 3..4..5..+ unconvicted paedophiles with access to your child....*.

This is something all mothers need to really take on board. Because these unconvicted paedophiles are regularly in relationships, with young children. This was the case with my F; my DM had no idea, until my DSis and I told her a few years ago. She was devastated.

And this is why I, a single mum, will never have a relationship while my child is living in my house. I do not trust anyone and would be devastated if this ever happened to DS.

[00100001]

@Waxonwaxoff0

There's definitely a balance to be had between protecting children and living life.

We can't live life not trusting anyone, otherwise you'd never let your child stay at grandparents... Cousins... Friends even for an hour.


It is difficult.

[EmeraldShamrock]

I watched a documentary on C4 police chasing paedophiles in one area alone Hampshire, the police deal with a new case of indecent sexual images of DC every single day. Reports from internet providers have increased year on year for the last 4 years.
I think it is safe to assume there is one on every street.

[EmeraldShamrock]

And this is why I, a single mum, will never have a relationship while my child is living in my house. I do not trust anyone and would be devastated if this ever happened to DS.
If my DC's father died or left tomorrow I'd be the same. I've seen lines blurred as a DC with friends and DM's partner for a host of reasons. I'm married/committed to the DC first.

[EmeraldShamrock]

I watched a documentary on C4 police chasing paedophiles Forgot to add, I wouldn't advise watching it, I turned it off after 20 mins.

[OhWhyNot]

I to have been very wary of bringing another man into ds life

I am shocked how many sensible women I know that will do quickly introduce a new man

And as for someone just popping round for sex while the children are sleeping is just stupidity that is exactly the situation these predators are hoping for

[Maggiesfarm]

@OhWhyNot

I to have been very wary of bringing another man into ds life

I am shocked how many sensible women I know that will do quickly introduce a new man

And as for someone just popping round for sex while the children are sleeping is just stupidity that is exactly the situation these predators are hoping for

You are right. It takes a long time to really get to know someone and even then, they could fool you but at least you tried.

It does seem seriously tacky to introduce a new fella to a child or children too quickly. However I was never a one parent family, I sometimes wonder how I would have been had I been on my own with a child in my twenties. As a young adult I wasn't all that sensible and often judged characters poorly. I outgrew that, married husband etc, etc, but I could have found myself in that position as a girl.

[Maggiesfarm]

@EmeraldShamrock

I watched a documentary on C4 police chasing paedophiles in one area alone Hampshire, the police deal with a new case of indecent sexual images of DC every single day. Reports from internet providers have increased year on year for the last 4 years.
I think it is safe to assume there is one on every street.

I saw that too, it wasn't easy viewing, I missed some bits. People don't realise how slippery and plausible paedophiles are.