Friends daughters 1st birthday

[namechangedforthis21]

It was my friends daughters 1st birthday yesterday. She had given everyone set time to show up for dropping off presents and to see her dd. My family was assigned 12-12:30 I text her during the week to say we would be there but would be slightly later as my dd football finished at 12. She changed the time to 12:30-1 which I said was no problem. After football we drove to her house and my dd was still in her football strip. Today she has texted me saying Hi I wasn't going to say anything as I didn't want to make you feel bad but I was very upset that ....... showed up to ..... 1st birthday party in her football strip given the fact I changed your time to accommodate her football. It would of been nice if you could have made an effort and got her changed into proper party attire.
I still haven't replied as I don't no what to say.
WIBU by not changing dd8 out of her football strip?

I’d have to respond ‘I’ve got another present for you and DD, your text gave me the idea. I solemnly promise that when I remind you of that text in 10 years time, I won’t do it in public. You’re welcome.’

I'd be giving the BBQ a wide berth. Just tell you cheeky fuck of a friend, you all have nothing suitable to wear! 😆

Absolutely call her on this though otherwise she won't stop.

@HeadLikeAFuckinOrange

Sounds like she is struggling

Yes, with reality

With the cruel truth that her friend doesn’t love her enough to take her DD home from football, doll her up in some frilly horror and hair ribbons, and then drive her over to her carefully-orchestrated present drop off. It’s a tough old world.

Even the shepherds didn't have to change when dropping off presents for baby Jesus, but you do you, dear.

'Shit yeah - we had actually ordered dd an Amazon delivery guy uniform but it didn't arrive in time, so we thought her footy strip would look near enough that your PFB might not notice the difference. Sorry we let you down'

CFer - Is she on glue ?

I would just ignore, its so ridiculous. She will come to realise her batshit ways.

@Xoxoxoxoxoxox

Even the shepherds didn't have to change when dropping off presents for baby Jesus, but you do you, dear.

🤣🤣🤣

Jesus Christ. As if it’s not rude and presumptuous enough to assign people a ‘time slot’ to drop off presents before sending them on their way she then has the audacity to send that. It’s staggeringly precious. I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to help myself telling her how ridiculous she was. As if her one year old would notice ... and it wasn’t even a party?! Ridiculous

I am going to text her in the morning saying that I was unaware that it was a party and I hope that her dd had a good birthday and liked her present

I get that you don't want to text her telling her to get a grip or another thing that will piss her off. But saying you were unaware it was a party reads apologetic to me. For which you have nothing to apologise for. I personally would be annoyed if I made the effort to go and give a present to someone at an allotted time (lol) and then they responded like that. Personally, I'd just ignore it.

It’s her first born and it’s lock down.

I would ignore it completely or just apologise by saying you won’t have made the time and got changed in time! Say hopefully next year there will be no time restrictions!

@namechangedforthis21

We have been friends for over 30 years that's why I don't want to reply something that will end the friendship. She has never behaved like this in the past although she very much think the world revolves around her dd and has done some crazy stuff since she was born. She likes to plan stuff and when it doesn't go the exact way she has planned she can get a bit moody about it. I am going to text her in the morning saying that I was unaware that it was a party and I hope that her dd had a good birthday and liked her present.

Brilliant reply OP. Then the moral high ground is well and truly yours!

Definitely what a previous poster recommended. A reply of:

'I'm so sorry, you seem to have misspelt "thank you so much for DD's birthday present and taking the time to visit yesterday" as I assume that's what you meant?'

Is your friend Kate Middleton? Because that's the most Princess-y thing I've ever heard! Why did you need an appointment? I'd have thought that was a joke

You’re a better person than me because if someone sent me that text I’d reply by saying “are you taking the piss?!” As for her BBQ I’d tell her to shove it up her arse sideways

It sounds like she's struggling. If you say she's only been like this since having a baby, perhaps she's suffering from anxiety or similar that makes her feel the need to try and exert control so excessively. Focusing on something like this on what should be a special day celebrating her daughter can't be fun for her- do you think she might open up if you said that her message had worried you a bit?

Don't be a pushover OP. Call her out on it. She's extremely rude

Honestly when I saw she booked a time slot for dropping off presents, I knew she was already bonkers!! Ignore het

I'd reply. "Haha Mumsnet had a field day with your text message!!!! Seriously though, hope your DD had a nice birthday. Is there a dress code for the BBQ next week, btw? Wouldn't want to be in your bad books again!"

That’s a good replay. I do hope she does cringe in the future

I would tell her to shove her BBq up her ...

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Is your friend Kate Middleton? Because that's the most Princess-y thing I've ever heard! Why did you need an appointment? I'd have thought that was a joke

Kate's not this pretentious 😂

Am glad most of you think the time slot thing is batshit!
We’ve been allocated a 2 hour time slot for a (PFB) one year olds birthday, next month (we were given two months notice)Taking place in Marquee in the garden, so everyone can see child on the day in a covid safe way.

I didn’t even know this was a thing!

Not only do I think this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard but extremely pretentious and entitled! I feel like I’m being summonsed.
But ours has a back story. We’ve been kept at arms length, Despite no fallout or animosity. We were ignored at Christmas, no acknowledgement for presents sent, half the family have never even seen the child, we’ve seen child once (in the garden) They don’t care for Covid restrictions and social distancing (unless its our family) and have continued seeing friends and the other side family (inc children) with child in tow throughout!
I also suspect the other side of the family ‘Haven’t’ been given time slots but we should now be grateful to them for allowing us to visit within the allocated time slot, where we are supposed to bring presents and coo over the child.

Nah fuck that!

I think they’ve told us everything we need to know without saying anything!
The rest of the family feel the same.

Op It’s bad enough being given a time slot, but to dress it up as a party and to berate you for your dds footie kit, with no “Thankyou” for the presents you gave.....extremely rude. I think I’d be taking a step back!

@Junkbox hat was the reaction when you said no?

So glad you’re not going.