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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends daughters 1st birthday

543 replies

namechangedforthis21 · 16/05/2021 21:26

It was my friends daughters 1st birthday yesterday. She had given everyone set time to show up for dropping off presents and to see her dd. My family was assigned 12-12:30 I text her during the week to say we would be there but would be slightly later as my dd football finished at 12. She changed the time to 12:30-1 which I said was no problem. After football we drove to her house and my dd was still in her football strip. Today she has texted me saying Hi I wasn't going to say anything as I didn't want to make you feel bad but I was very upset that ....... showed up to ..... 1st birthday party in her football strip given the fact I changed your time to accommodate her football. It would of been nice if you could have made an effort and got her changed into proper party attire.
I still haven't replied as I don't no what to say.
WIBU by not changing dd8 out of her football strip?

OP posts:
theweebabydonkey · 17/05/2021 17:05

100% she has seen this thread Grin

NewlyGranny · 17/05/2021 17:06

I'd text back that there's probably loads of things she can't imagine doing now, when her DD is just a year old, that she'll find herself doing in future, but that you promise never to remind her when you see it happening. Wink

2bazookas · 17/05/2021 17:06

Be glad you found out she's an eejit on the very first birthday ; now you can avoid all the rest for 20 years or so.

BlokeHereInPeace · 17/05/2021 17:07

It is true that there could be a football strip issue here. Details needed.

worriedatthemoment · 17/05/2021 17:08

2nd birthday I would be buying a football strip

SeaShoreGalore · 17/05/2021 17:18

So basically she is allowed to be as rude as she likes to you, and you just have to suck it up?

DustCentral · 17/05/2021 17:18

Wow her reply is bitchy!!

Xiaoxiong · 17/05/2021 17:21

Ah hah she's a mum of a PFB judging away madly! I'd be thinking (in my head) "yooooooou'll seeeeeeee...." Grin

I remember when I had a PFB and I thought I would have only toys made of gorgeous natural materials (plastic tat would never enter the house!!), he would wear only organic cotton, eat lovingly prepared organic food, he would be dressed in clean clothes at all times etc. That daydream survived contact with reality for about a week... Ten years on my daydreams are now more along the lines of wholesome family activities instead of minecraft, but reality still refuses to cooperate!!

Original poster
namechangedforthis21 · 17/05/2021 17:24

The football strip was just the local kids team strip. So I'm assuming that she isn't offended by a kids football team.
DH is in stitches at some of these replies so thank you everyone.
If it's mentioned tonight I will update you all.

OP posts:
Aprilwasverywet · 17/05/2021 17:25

Op I hope you are wearing full local football team strip...
With knee socks and a bandana...
Sweaty work walking a ddog..

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 17/05/2021 17:26

How can you be bothered with her? She's so bloody rude. She'd be an ex friend if that was me.

VouisLuitton · 17/05/2021 17:35

@Cushionsnotpillows

Well. Not only is she rude, she appears to have internalised the patriarchal misogyny that girls should be in pretty Princess dresses and never do anything as "unladylike" and "unfeminine" as actually move their bodies in a sport they enjoy.

Sad. I'd be giving her next party a bigger swerve than a Beckham left kick.

I was thinking exactly this. Would she have said anything if your DD was a DS wearing a football kit? Probably not.

Looking forward to seeing if it’s mentioned later when on your walk.... Grin

BananasAreEvil · 17/05/2021 17:36

She sounds utterly insufferable

chesterelly · 17/05/2021 17:37

My DD (12) has played football for nearly 3 years. She loves it. Pre-Covid we took her to a couple of Women's Internationals. The sport is really growing in momentum, even getting a bit of decent tv coverage at long last. My DD got the latest international top at the weekend and for the price she could probably have got 5 girly party outfits but that football top will probably be worn every other day right through Summer, regardless of what plans we might have. I hope your friend's DD takes great interest in the sport when she's older, maybe the next time your called to drop off a present you could make it a football.

HaveringWavering · 17/05/2021 17:38

I can’t believe you are willing to let it lie and only discuss further if she brings it up.

skodadoda · 17/05/2021 17:38

@namechangedforthis21

Forgot to post her reply. Sorry if my text came across as rude as I just can't imagine taking ..... out in a football strip. I forgot to thank you for the beautiful dress you got her and the book she loved the book. Will give you a buzz when I'm taking the dogs out tonight if you fancy joining us.
I can’t begin to imagine her reaction when her pfb refuses to go out in anything other than football kit. My dgd had full football kit for one of her birthdays.
MummyBobbles · 17/05/2021 17:39

Oh my life what a sad arse! Sadly life is littered with friends with children younger than mine who make really weird comments around how 'they would never'... until they actually do! My DD lives in her strip, she'd turn up to a wedding in it if we allowed it.

botanicalart · 17/05/2021 18:29

i would be telling her that DDwas asking why the poor baby didnt get a cake

ChaToilLeam · 17/05/2021 20:18

Grabby, rude and judgemental - she’s a real prize! The only possible acceptable excuse is that lockdown + PFB has sent her a bit nuts.

Dare you to wear a tiara to walk the dogs.

GabsAlot · 17/05/2021 20:56

thats not an apology though its like im sorry you feel that way but....

silly cow

Eyesofdisarray · 17/05/2021 21:09

Allocated a slot? Like an appointment? 😄
Not Instagram-worthy???? (as my DD would say)
Oh dear... she's in for fun times 😏
If that was me, I'd be grateful that you popped round 🎁

RogueMNerKnowsNoShame · 17/05/2021 21:34

I do appreciate an OP who updates.
Thank you @namechangedforthis21 FlowersStar

ElderMillennial · 17/05/2021 21:37

I agree her reply was still rude.

Rockdown2020 · 17/05/2021 21:44

I’m really late to this thread but my god OP, you are a better woman than me. The audacity of allocated present dropping slots like you are an Amazon delivery Shock. Prat!

I wonder if dressing in ‘party’ attire would be such a concern if your DD was a DS? Insufferable.

Honeyroar · 17/05/2021 21:51

She was still rude with her reply. Really OP should’ve fired back with “you’ll change your tune when she’s old enough to have interests and sports she wants to do. We all started out with images of perfect parenthood in our heads, but they don’t usually last long!”