To not know if I'm a Mrs or a Miss

[Ticklemycarpets]

I got married recently, happy to be known as Mrs Husbandsname but haven't changed name officially on any documentation.
I was completing an official form today (counter signing someone else's passport) and had to fill in my title with my name.
I am thinking for the purposes of this, my name is still my maiden name as that matches my passport. However I hesitated over ticking the Mrs or Miss box.
I think of my self as a Mrs now....
..but I'm not Mrs Maidenname.

All of you who are married but use your maiden name, do you say you are Miss on official forms?

I didn’t change my name when I was married, and thought of myself as either Miss or Ms PaperyThing (ie my birth surname).

Now I’m divorced I often think of myself as Mrs PaperyThing, even though currently I’m still using Ms. I think it’s almost like that “self partnered” think that Emma Watson came out with. Or like the french and Germans (and most of Europe I think!) using the equivalent of Mrs for all adult women. Seems more right to me!

I'm a Ms

Go for Mx.

I have Dr. Which neatly gets me out of these things. I’m Dr Cycling normally but will occasionally be mrs Cake (normally school and house related things). Legally I’m still Dr/Ms Cycling as I don’t have any ID that says otherwise. But I’m told you can call yourself anything you like as long as you’re not aiming to deceive.

Use whatever honorative you like. I know people who choose to be Mrs Hername, Miss Hername, Ms Hername - makes no legal difference

I think you still want to keep your maiden name which sounds perfectly fine to me. I use Mrs and my complete maiden name.

The phrase 'maiden' name is so archaic. I'm Ms Mum'smarriedname but do intend it to change it to the family name her side use as I don't identify with her married name at all (parents now divorced and very little relationship with my dad).

I use my 2nd (current) husbands surname because I CHOSE to.
That's actually AlLL that matters .

I was perfectly entitled to keep previous husbands name which might have been more convenient as kids have this name.. but for my new DH it was important (less so for me) .. I love him so I changed... the important bit was that it was entirely MY choice.. that is what feminism means to me.. no prescription just MY choice .

I've always used Ms before and after marriage.

Ah, see, to me it’s about the expectation. How many men even consider changing their names? Until they do then it’s not truly a choice for women because it is rooted in sexist expectation. Why was it “important” to either husband that you gave up your name for theirs? Whilst you consider it a choice now, it’s rooted in a tradition where women were not legally people in their own rights. They were property “branded” by first their father’s and then their husband’s name. I can’t think of much that is less appealing.

I did suggest we both change our names to something famous, but that was mainly to be able to get better tables in restaurants.

I've always been Ms, before and after marriage. I sometimes get pissed off by forms that require a title but don't offer Ms as an option, then I choose Mr.

I use Ms, and did before I got married.

Didn't change my name though... maybe if I'd changed it it'd have felt more correct to use Mrs? Either way, Mrs sounds old and grown up to me and I refuse to be known by my marital status so Ms works!

@Ednadidit

We still haven’t bothered to do the deed polls to add each other’s names on after our wedding last July and I’m still Miss Maidenname everywhere 🤷🏻‍♀️ Plan is to be Ms Maidenname Marriedname at some vague point in the future.

In your situation, OP, I’d have gone for the name and title on my passport.

Can we have a sticky somewhere on the boards to say YOU DON’T NEED A DEED POLL TO CHANGE YOUR NAME 😂

@Kyph

I am Mrs Maidenname. Married 30 years and never used married name ever. DH will happily answer to Mr Kyph as I always book everything and use my name. Even the plumber calls him Mr Kyph Last week I rang HMRC and as part of ID check she asked if I had ever been known by another name. I said no and she pushed me to think about it. Then it dawned on me that DHs name is my legal name even though Ive never used it.

Your husband’s surname is not your legal name!

Titles are not legal so you could call yourself any title you want.

I think if you're married you can use Mrs with your maiden name. It's up to you really.

Ms

Ms because it needs no explanation.

Not sure why you think it’s hilarious. My bank want one, so I’ll have to get one if I want to change my name. I haven’t done it and I can’t be arsed with the faff of not remembering which name I’ve used for which purpose. Christ 🙄

@Tippexy

@Kyph

I am Mrs Maidenname. Married 30 years and never used married name ever. DH will happily answer to Mr Kyph as I always book everything and use my name. Even the plumber calls him Mr Kyph Last week I rang HMRC and as part of ID check she asked if I had ever been known by another name. I said no and she pushed me to think about it. Then it dawned on me that DHs name is my legal name even though Ive never used it.

@Kyph - if you’ve never used your husband’s surname, how is your legal name? I don’t even really know what a “legal” name is - your name is whatever you call yourself. You can have a different name on your birth certificate, your passport, your driving licence, your bank account etc etc if you want. You usually just have to declare all aliases. Your name does not automatically change on marriage!

Maiden name is such an outdated, sexist term. It literally means that name you had before you had sex...

The OP is asking what name to use when countersigning someone else’s passport.

She asks for advice in those particular circumstances.

Many are offering advice for the future, however I think the OP would also value advice for the form now.

Im presuming to sign it in any other name/title would only delay the friend’s passport while checks are done by the passport office’s computer.

I use both names so Mrs Husbandsname and Miss Myname.

I’m not married to myself (or my dad).

I use my maiden name for work cos it will be a right palaver to change it.

You're Mrs Husbandsname automatically on getting married, you don't have to change things officially, so you would be Mrs, not Ms. My passport is in my maiden name, but that doesn't make it my actual name.

I use Mrs when I'm using my married name (most things) and Ms when using my maiden name (work).

But years ago I had a council tax card delivered to me addressed to Lord... 😂