To make him do his own laundry?

[BrutusMcDogface]

I know these threads are done to death, but I’m so frustrated I just need to vent (and some validation?!)

We have four kids. We both work full time but I do more hours than him, including working in the evenings. He does the childminder runs and does the kitchen a few evenings a week (not every day!) I do everything else.

He has a hobby that he also does most days (yes, that’s right. Pretty much every day in some shape or form. Today he’s out most of the day doing it).

So, I know I’m not being u but “ltb” is easier said than done. Trying to claw back something and I think he can start doing his own laundry while I do mine and the kids’.

Quite frankly, if I hear him ask if he has any clean tops/pants/socks one more time, I might have to kill him.

You need to get a hobby that you do as often as he does, and he looks after the kids like you do.
I wouldn’t make him do his own washing, you’re doing it anyway.

I do exactly the same! He doesn’t notice until he has no pants. I just shrug. DH is home all day (working from home mornings only) so should do bits and bobs as far as I’m concerned. It seems acceptable to him for me to walk in the door and start the housework. I refuse

Do it.
Hes an adult.
We all do our own laundry in this house.

Then when he brings it up address the other inequality and how the split of chores will be going forward.
Lazy arse

Stop. Martyring. Yourself. Seriously, he's taking the piss so much you think that you need to ask MN if he should be looking after himself? A grown man? Washing his own clothes is the basic minimum, he should be taking turns doing the children's as well. I'm a stay at home parent currently, and my husband does his own work clothes for goodness sake (he doesn't want them in with any other clothes, fair enough but I'm damned if I'm doing extra washing just for him).

Give him fair warning that you are no longer his laundry maid, but for goodness sake stop doing this manchild's chores for him.

Do it. Absolutely. And if he complains just tell him you don't have time to do his laundry.

YANBU. We have always done our own laundry.

In a minute someone will be along to say "but why do lots of tiny loads" because the concept of waiting a few days until you have a full load is apparently too complicated for some people to grasp.

Will he be doing his cycling hobby next Sunday too?

If "Yes", get up nice and early and go out. Leave him a note saying you're at the end of your tether and need some time for your new hobby of not enabling him, or washing his pants

Thank you.

I am so bloody miserable at the moment! The house is a mess as I’m really lacking energy and motivation to get it done while he’s out having fun.

6 people produce a LOT of laundry.

@andtheweedonkey

I love this! And yes he is!

@BrutusMcDogface

Thank you.

I am so bloody miserable at the moment! The house is a mess as I’m really lacking energy and motivation to get it done while he’s out having fun.

6 people produce a LOT of laundry.

And why should you be stuck at home while hes out having fun. Hes taking the piss. Time for The Talk Op

And once he's doing his own regularly, tell him he is now responsible for the children's laundry too. It sounds as though he has about 10 hours a week more leisure time than you. Claw some of it back.

YANBU.
You both work, you’re both parents- why is your free time less valuable than his? How much time do you get to do “hobbies”?

You’re all right! I will have The Talk.

In fact, I might include the whole family.

He says he’s lucky I “let” him do it (ha!!)

He thinks he can just smile and kiss me and I’ll let him get away with it. He must know what a cheeky fucker he is.

You’re a woman. So of course your hobby is housework and child rearing! Lots of lovely free time to do your hobby while he’s cycling. Crack on!

Do everyone else’s washing but leave his for him to do. Also find a hobby of your own so you can leave the house for hours at a time. Selfish tit.

👍👍

"if I hear him ask if he has any clean tops/pants/socks one more time, I might have to kill him." My response to questions like this is "I don't know, do you have any?"

Let us know how it goes OP! Good luck

It's so funny to me to imagine a grown woman asking a man if she has any clean knickers, and if so where are they?! Just wouldn't happen

@TeachesOfPeaches

It's so funny to me to imagine a grown woman asking a man if she has any clean knickers, and if so where are they?! Just wouldn't happen

100% this

@TeachesOfPeaches

It's so funny to me to imagine a grown woman asking a man if she has any clean knickers, and if so where are they?! Just wouldn't happen

Exactly this. It's fucking ridiculous.

You’re totally right! I’ve tried to explain to him how infantilising and quite frankly, unsexy it is when he asks me if he has any clean stuff.

I sometimes say, “I don’t know. Have you washed any?” Which of course is a big fat no.

Seems to all fall on deaf ears though.

Only way is to just not do it. Can't fall on deaf ears if he has to do it himself