There is a principle around sharing chores that goes, "Nobody sits down until everybody sits down."
This is what your DH needs to grasp. He's not pulling his weight! In your case, it needs to be "Nobody gets on their bike/unimat lathe/the grog until chores are done and everybody is at leisure."
The Talk needs to look at work/life balance you each currently have, and acknowledge the fact that you have both let this imbalance creep up, him by being selfish and oblivious and you by being much too generous.
He needs to understand that he has no special entitlement to receiving all these domestic services than you have. Perhaps when/if you were a SAHM, but not now you're working full time! Does he get what a turn-off entitlement on his side and resentment, martyrdom and exhaustion on yours can be? Spell it out for him.
Definitely stop doing his laundry and his "life laundry" too: I mean things you do for little kids and don't do for adults, like organising cards and presents for his parents and family, making dental appointments, tidying his clutter, being his alarm clock and reminder service.
Finally, whenever he drops his bundle and follows his hobby, you put the household burden down too. If he leaves a dirty kitchen floor and messy sitting room when he leaves, he should find it that way when he gets back, with you sitting comfortably with a book/binge watching LoD Series 1 to 5/turning candlesticks on your lathe/writing a novel, whatever you would do with the amount of leisure time he grants himself. Whatever he takes, award yourself the same.
Of course with children, nothing stops, I get that, but you can engage them with chores relating to their needs, and if you're feeding them, just feed them and yourself: he can fend until he gets it.
Who shops? If that's you, too, stop buying his treats and favourite stuff. If he wants that, he can get involved with the trolley or online ordering and the invisible load of meal planning etc.
Book yourself a weekend off - soon! - and go right away Friday night to Sunday night, leaving him with the whole shebang, no prepped meals in the freezer. When you get in, ask him where your clean knickers are. Don't rescue him with late night laundry: if the kids go to school Monday morning in Friday's uniform scrabbled off their bedroom floors, it won't kill them.
Good luck!