I've been bad - damaged someone's car in carpark

[GuiltyMoo]

I came back to my car in a supermarket car park to find that someone had parked their car with their passenger side way too close to my drivers side. So close that I couldn't get past their wingmirror to get to the door. So I had to bend my wingmirror in to squeeze past. Then I had to do contortions to open the door and then get in. I accidentally knocked their wingmirror out of position and dented and scratched their door doing so.

I confess that at that point I was so furious that I let my car door bang again against the other car. I then drove out of the space, stopped, got out and went back to put their wingmirror back in place.

I am now at home feeling super guilty, waiting for a knock on my door from the Police after they track me down from the carpark CCTV.

So, AIBU for squeezing into my car and causing the damage? Should I have gone back to the supermarket and had them call the driver to move their car so I could get in mine?

I'm a big worrier, and this will pop into my head for years to come, as another moment of shame.

Yes unreasonable. They inconvenient you and we’re inconsiderate. They did not leave you financially out of pocket or damage to your car. You cannot vandalise people’s cars because they have annoyed you. You should have asked for it to be moved.

Wow you vandalised someone's car and you are posting here about it?!

To be fair without knowing how big OP is, how big the cars are and how big the space is its impossible to say the other driver was inconsiderate.

OPs comment about not being young and slim anymore highlighted this thought, I know many women that even with plenty of gap to get in a standard space they couldnt get in because they are bigger ladies so they often park on the end of the row or as a passanger get the driver to pull out so they can get in but its not the other drivers fault if they dont fit when the driver was within parking guideline.

As long as the other driver was within their own designated bay then its really on you that your body didnt fit the gap not them as they where parked correctly.

It might not seem 'fair' but lots of thing about our bodies isnt fair example: often tall people have to stoop/duck, sometime small people arent big enough to reach things and sometime if your a little bigger you have to squeeze or dont fit somewhere and its not really any elses fault or problem though.

How do we know it's not you that was parked like a twat? For all we know, you could have abandoned it in a space any old how, and they were parked properly. I hope the police come knocking or you get a claim on your insurance

Absolutely disgusting!
You are the reason I park miles away at the end of the carpark, to avoid people like you!
I hope they will find you!

AIBU?

Yes

You're all a bunch of meanies and I won't be posting further

I smell a whiff of fish. You are not slim and nimble enough to get in the passenger side and shuffle across, but slim enough and nimble enough to wriggle into a small place and squeeze through the drivers side door?

Awful lot of sanctimonious posters on this thread. I wouldn't have banged the door deliberately but I wouldn't have lost any sleep over doing it accidentally while trying to squeeze into the car. It's common decency to check you've left people enough space to get into their cars and if you park like a twat people will respond accordingly. I also don't have to mobility to climb over the passenger seat anymore and would be furious if I was prevented from going about my business by a twat who can't park properly. They clearly didn't give a shit about you.

@MidnightHangingTree

It's not the other driver's fault that you're fat and have a tiny car.

Maybe lose weight or buy a bigger car if you're not able to get in it without damaging someone else's property

You still haven't answered whether they were parked within the lines or not?

Yeah she did. They were over the lines.

Their fault. I hate people who park like that. Someone did that to me when I was 9 months pregnant and had a teeny sports car that there was no way I could get into from the other side. She got a right gob-full from me I can tell you. I don’t blame you OP.

You obviously don’t feel that bad about it, hence all the ‘oh, silly me’ shite. Yes, it’s annoying when people are parked like dicks (you wouldn’t believe how someone abandoned their car in my local Tesco car park last week) but you admitted that you bashed their car with your door because you were annoyed. There’s no excusing that.

Even if you weren’t caught on CCTV, someone may have seen you do it. A few months ago I witnessed someone reverse full-force into a parked car, badly damaging the wheel arch, and I gave the registration numbers to the police 🤷🏻‍♀️

I get your anger but it is criminal damage as others have said.

Worst case you'll need to pay for the damage (perhaps through insurance) and given a warning.

Supermarkets generally don't cover every angle of the car park and they have signs stating they take no responsibility for any damage etc so all they can do is look to see if their CCTV covered it and provide it to police/insurance/owner of the car. A Subject to Access Request will take 28 days so you may not hear from them for a good few weeks.

You should have left a note OP (I think that is unreasonable - as well as the other car owner parking inconsiderably)
I'd be very surprised if the police had time for something so petty/small fry when they dont have the manpower to attend burglaries etc....but then some of the behaviour during covid (arresting women meeting for coffee, using drones to watch people going for a walk) makes me wonder if it's easier for them to deal with smaller crimes

Yes he was inconsiderate for leaving a narrow gap but may have assumed you could still get in. Unfortunately if you really are too fat and arthritic to get in the passenger side he may have actually left a gap where most people could get in.

You have caused criminal damage, you know YABU.

@MidnightHangingTree

It's not the other driver's fault that you're fat and have a tiny car.

Maybe lose weight or buy a bigger car if you're not able to get in it without damaging someone else's property

You still haven't answered whether they were parked within the lines or not?

You're so rude.

[quote GuiltyMoo]@NoSquirrels

My car is old and the edge of the door is bare metal. Moving back to open my door, I knocked against their wingmirror. Trying to open the door wide enough for me to squeeze in needed a lot of effort resulting in pressure on their door.

But silly me, I should have used a lot more contortions getting this old, fat and arthritic body of mine through the passenger door of my tiny car and over into the driver's seat.

But I hear everyone. I was in the wrong and deserve punishment.[/quote]
It always makes me laugh when posters get told they are BU and then do this kind of passive aggressive “I get it, I’m a TERRIBLE PERSON” thing.

Why didn’t you ask for an announcement at the supermarket for the customer to move their car? Surely that would have been an embarrassing lesson learned for them rather than vandalising their car. We’ve all been guilty of parking badly in stressful situations. It could have been an elderly driver or parent with young screaming children. Shame on you, disgusting behaviour.

I feel your fury! Being very much restricted in my movement I would have been unable to get in my car any which way, let wriggle through the passenger door and slide over. My friend was locked out of her car for 2 hours in this very situation. No joke for the elderly and disabled. Try not to beat yourself up about it. Easier said than done. From one worrier to another.

@Lalliella I’m well impressed that you could get in a sports car at 9 months pregnant, my friend has a lotus, I sort of fall in but getting out is another matter

Unreasonable drivers who park inconsiderately, in my opinion, deserve the reality check represented by a dented door. I wouldn't fret for 5 seconds. I have done exactly the same as you. And, no I am not fucking going out of my way to climb though my car boot or across from the passenger side. If you are shitty enough/ stupid enough/ entitled enough to park badly then good luck to you.

I wouldn’t deliberately damage another car and would try hard to not accidentally damage one either.

However, if something happened, accidentally, due to another driver parking inconsiderately, I wouldn’t feel particularly bad about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Isn't Mumsnet full of nice people.

Being asked for an opinion appears to entitle internet randomers who have no skin in the game to call the OP a bitch and an arsehole.

Can't give an opinion without nasty personal insults?

Lovely.

Ignore the sanctimonious contortion artists with hours on their hands to spend clambering around inside their car. It takes seconds to straighten up and park inside the bay. If you can't be bothered to do that then don't expect me to be bothered about your car door.

Wow, what a sanctimonious bunch we have here today.

In your shoes I'd have been furious too, and no way could I climb over the passenger side to get in.

I'm a fan of natural consequences to be honest - you far so close to someone that you almost prevent their access to their car? You get scratches on yours 🤷‍♀️ Perhaps they'll be more mindful next time.