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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unnecessary cosmetic surgery and treatments

146 replies

justawoman76 · 12/05/2021 18:24

At work today, one of my younger colleagues, (23), was telling us how she is about to get her face 'filled' and botox.
She literally has perfect skin. I asked why she was getting botox and she wrinkled up her forehead by raising her brows and pointed to the area and said ' that's why'.
I tried to explain that everyone has forehead wrinkles when they intentionally raise their brows, but she was adamant she wants rid of them and her face 'filled'.
It just made me so sad that such a young woman thinks normal facial movement is abnormal. She's getting her lips 'done' when she's there.

Today I also me my new neighbour, and I could barely understand (or stop looking at) her as she was talking, as her lips were so pumped up she couldn't talk properly. The side profile was incredible, not just the lips but the whole margin around the lips was so swollen. And black tattooed eyebrows (when will that fashion go away?). Such a shame because she is obviously actually a nice looking woman under that.

WHY do women feel they have to do this to themselves? I know it's all up to the individual and whatever makes them happy yadda yadda, but I wonder if they seriously know how weird it looks, and that everyone can see what they've had done? Or is that the intention?

23 years old seem ridiculous to be thinking about getting fillers and botox!

OP posts:
AmandaHoldensLips · 12/05/2021 18:30

It's a trend. A fashion thing. A uniformity you can wear like a handbag. Everyone can see it. Everyone can tell you've had it done.

I really hope that youngsters won't ruin their faces and that it will all wear off with no appalling after-effects which are so horribly frequent.

Youth is so beautiful! But they don't realise that and there's no telling anyone anything, eh?

SummaLuvin · 12/05/2021 18:41

People are incredibly snobby about fillers and botox.

I had braces when I was 12, nothing wrong with my jaw or mouth medically, I was just a bit toothy. I had 4 teeth pulled out and the braces in for 18 months. Just so my smile was 'prettier'. No-one comments on dental work done to actual children for cosmetic reasons. I struggle to really see how fillers and botox are so much worse, they are just less normalised and common which is why there is so much judgement.

As with anything surface level some people like it and some people don't. Like clothes, or hair styles, or make-up, fillers won't be everyones cup of tea, but nothing ever will be.

mumofthemonsters808 · 12/05/2021 19:07

I’m nearly 50 and the only one in my friendship group who has not had Botox or fillers. It’s not that I don’t need any help because my face is that of a 50 year olds, some lines, creases, jaw droops, but I will not buy into this madness. I don’t have the money to indulge in this craze and it seems to be a one type fits all type of thing.If I had to have lip fillers I’d at least want my lip shape enhanced, not the pumped lips that they all seem to have..May be because my social circle relies upon local beauticians expertise and not proper cosmetic specialists, the look is not as desirable as it would be if you had a huge budget.Mind you I’ve seen the Housewives of wherever shows and they still look their age, I don’t know, it’s all a mystery to me.God only knows why young women are having work.

Hopdathelf · 12/05/2021 19:15

I tried to explain that everyone has forehead wrinkles when they intentionally raise their brows

You sound very patronising.

Original poster
justawoman76 · 12/05/2021 19:23

@Hopdathelf

I tried to explain that everyone has forehead wrinkles when they intentionally raise their brows

You sound very patronising.

And you sound like a typical AIBU mumsnetter. I knew a couple of threads in someone would make a nasty comment. How predictable.
OP posts:
SummaLuvin · 12/05/2021 19:27

OP - but you do sound patronising. And if we are talking about nasty comments how about you reread you first post, where you make incredibly judgemental and mean comments on other peoples appearance, you started a whole thread just to criticise them!

An0n0n0n · 12/05/2021 19:28

I agree it looks crap when its obvious and looks like the person has low self esteem.

Its a shame that fashion these days wont be as easy to shug off as it used to be.

There is a now a trend for getting it all taken out. Molly someone.

MolotovMocktail · 12/05/2021 19:30

It’s the tattooed/laminated whatever eyebrows I don’t get, they look universally awful. Love Botox and filler Blush but very subtly, no fish lips and I’m not 23.

Original poster
justawoman76 · 12/05/2021 19:31

I specifically said in my first post both girls are very pretty girls and don't need cosmetic stuff done to them! Not mean at all.

OP posts:
lanatolater2 · 12/05/2021 19:40

I kind of can't really see what it has to do with you? The younger generation can't understand why old ladies have those short perms. It's just a fashion thing. Bigger things to worry about id say.

Freecuthbert · 12/05/2021 19:42

Personally I'm not a fan of these procedures, but some women like the "done" look and that's their business. And I'm quite sure the woman knew that lines appear when making facial expressions, hence why she wants botox to fill these in to prevent wrinkles forming!

Timper · 12/05/2021 19:44

Patronising is not a ‘nasty’ comment. FFS. If she wants fillers then it’s not really your place to tell her otherwise.

TwinkleToeMatilda · 12/05/2021 19:53

So I am 24 and have had my lips done 5 times in total and recently had fillers in my nose. Getting my nose and lips done were purely because I was insecure about those two features on my face. I can safely say that I regret having them done SO much. I am so desperate to get them dissolved so I can go back to being natural again. I don’t think anything about your post was mean or bitchy by the way.

NakedBanana · 12/05/2021 19:58

As PPs posters have said it's just a fashion. I get Botox and fillers but I'm a middle aged hag!! ;)

I think women look awful with foundation and loads of makeup, but you know what? What's it got to to with me! Each to their own.

I too think the whole trout pout look is awful but so, in my opinion, is wearing Boden.

When I look at the young pics of me, with my blue eyeshadow and mullet I cringe, but that's the joy of youth.

I wouldn't be happy if my daughter had Botox but that would be her choice to make.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 12/05/2021 20:03

How do they afford it? I'd have Botox if I could afford it (I'm in my 50s and have three heavy lines on my forehead) but I can't. How do they afford all that at 23?

TerribleCustomerCervix · 12/05/2021 20:08

There is an old schoolmate of mine who has just recently trained in giving lip fillers- she’s a nail tech and doesn’t have a clinical background.

She’s shared loads of pictures of lips that she’s filled with 1.1ml (which is A LOT) and they look dreadful- swollen and painful like an allergic reaction. There’s no natural definition anymore- their Cupid’s bows have all disappeared and they look like sausages.

I’m all for filler and Botox etc but it has to be used by people who know what they’re doing.

Livelovebehappy · 12/05/2021 20:08

Anything in moderation is fine. The woman you’re describing with the pumped up lips has obviously had too much filler. I have Botox, and am the other side of 40, and it has a subtle affect, which I’m really happy with. It gives me confidence, like having my hair done or losing excess weight.

Livelovebehappy · 12/05/2021 20:10

Botox isn’t massively expensive. I pay £150 every three or four months, which I don’t think is a hug3 amount of money to spend. Some people spend that much on shoes and bags, eating out, drinking etc.

Sootybear · 12/05/2021 20:14

Basically people are making a tonne of money from women's and men's insecurity about their looks and it's awful. None of it is needed and some procedures could actually be harmful. It would be much better for everyone if we realised that we are all perfect as we are.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 12/05/2021 20:18

It's nothing to do with you OP! How rude of you. As for Botox at a young age, the earlier you have it the more effective. How about minding your own business. Hmm

BananaHammock23 · 12/05/2021 20:20

Gosh you sound mean. Just because you don't like the way it looks it doesn't mean that they can't do it! You can't shame people into acting in a way that you deem acceptable.

Original poster
justawoman76 · 12/05/2021 20:21

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

It's nothing to do with you OP! How rude of you. As for Botox at a young age, the earlier you have it the more effective. How about minding your own business. Hmm
Rude? Saying to someone that they look lovely just as they are? I just want to point out that I didn't say she shouldn't have it, she can do what she wants obviously. And like everyone else I'm entitled to a personal opinion, just wanted to see what others thought about such young women having procedures. But obviously on Mumsnet that is a hanging crime.
OP posts:
wingsnthat · 12/05/2021 20:22

I had filler when I was 20. It looked natural - even my dentist didn’t believe I had filler after a checkup, but I specifically went to a cosmetic surgeon. It gave me confidence to stop wearing makeup as prior to that I was over-lining my lips to balance them out.

When I was 23 I tried chin filler and had it dissolved. It wasn’t botched, I just didn’t love it. It made my face look “too perfect” - like a cartoon/sim almost.

I just turned 24 and don’t regret having filler. I could afford it and there were no downsides. Some people suit filler more than others - I have a large lower lip but a thin top lip that flips in. You know how when people age, they lose volume in their top lip? Mine is like that naturally, so a small amount of filler balances my lips without taking it too far.

It’s faded now and my lips are back to their natural appearance. I haven’t had it redone is due to all the subsequent lockdowns but would. If you go to a doctor with decades of experience, it’s fine.

DIshedUp · 12/05/2021 20:25

Why does it make you sad? Yes she might not end up looking as you like but why does that sadden you. Its a relatively harmless procedure, providing its done by a qualified practitioner, its reversible. Why is that sad?

Its not really any different to getting a haircut you don't approve of, bleaching your hair or something. Its up to your colleague to decide what they like and don't like about themselves and what they do with their body

Waxonwaxoff0 · 12/05/2021 20:26

I don't give a shiny shite what other people do. Their life, their choice. I'm 30 and haven't had any surgery fwiw.

I do find it ironic that you feel the need to criticise these women but you're getting arsey when people are saying critical things to you. All the faux "they look lovely as they are" comments ARE patronising. You're saying that they look "weird" now, so yes you are being critical.