Unnecessary cosmetic surgery and treatments

[justawoman76]

At work today, one of my younger colleagues, (23), was telling us how she is about to get her face 'filled' and botox.
She literally has perfect skin. I asked why she was getting botox and she wrinkled up her forehead by raising her brows and pointed to the area and said ' that's why'.
I tried to explain that everyone has forehead wrinkles when they intentionally raise their brows, but she was adamant she wants rid of them and her face 'filled'.
It just made me so sad that such a young woman thinks normal facial movement is abnormal. She's getting her lips 'done' when she's there.

Today I also me my new neighbour, and I could barely understand (or stop looking at) her as she was talking, as her lips were so pumped up she couldn't talk properly. The side profile was incredible, not just the lips but the whole margin around the lips was so swollen. And black tattooed eyebrows (when will that fashion go away?). Such a shame because she is obviously actually a nice looking woman under that.

WHY do women feel they have to do this to themselves? I know it's all up to the individual and whatever makes them happy yadda yadda, but I wonder if they seriously know how weird it looks, and that everyone can see what they've had done? Or is that the intention?

23 years old seem ridiculous to be thinking about getting fillers and botox!

The other thing to look forward to is the opportunity to sport a forehead snake or two - those bulging veins some Botox users get on their foreheads, like Angelina Jolie and any number of others.
Spot on description. 🤣 I'll be using that in the future.

I agree with you OP and looking at the results of the the poll so do the vast majority.

I too wonder how they afford it.

However it's their choice and their money, I am just glad that I am of the disposition not to give two hoots that my face looks it's age.

I've bloody earned every single one of these lines and creases!

I have my eyebrows tattooed, v pale hair naturally and they look very natural still
Botox on and off, had it first for lines caused by pain. Pain went, lines stayed and I hated the reminder so I got Botox. Started using prescription retinol and haven't had Botox since

How do you get retinol prescribed? Ageing isn’t an illness or disorder.

@CounsellorTroi via skin and me or dermatica. I use skin and me, it helps with my acne too

Lip fillers and comedy eye brows. Just makes me laugh.

@DangerNature

I knew a couple of threads in someone would make a nasty comment.

Your whole OP is nasty. They might be unnecessary to you but they are clearly necessary to the people who get them and help them to feel more confident about themselves. Don’t be so judgemental.

Genuinely don't think it's judgemental to think people look better naturally. How could it be? It might sting if you've done a permanent procedure, but that's the persons own issue. If they're secure, it won't bother them

And tbh everyone can do what they want but when procedures get normalised and become mainstream they become the new standard. Now anyone without a massive bum out full lips is not attractive. Because it's not the baseline.

@Pyewackect

Lip fillers and comedy eye brows. Just makes me laugh.

me too...

keep it up folks 😂

I find it odd that people are getting defensive about what they see as their personal style choices - not realising they are just falling under the influence of the Kardashians, and all those they spawned - which are permanent in some instances, undoable, and will make them look much older even in the short run, and very odd in the long run.

A perm, or a mullet can grow out. A blue eyeshadow, or whatever style was fashionable in youth at other times, be wiped off. But those who have their teeth filed down to nubs cannot grown their teeth back and have an unknown future of dental problems ahead.

Botox is a muscle relaxant, and muscle atrophy causes a withered appearance eventually and lines in odd places to compensate when one muscle must work at the expense of another due to self-inflicted paralysis. The loss of volume after some years of Botox use, along with a natural loss of volume in the face in middleage, means that cheek fillers become 'a necessity'. Fillers lead ultimately to some level of pillow face. Lip fillers, if not carried on from the fashion of overfilling in one's 20s, lead to premature wrinkling of the previously filled lips.

Women in the public eye, like Kylie or Madonna, who have been using Botox since the 90s are looking pretty strange. I don't blame celebrities who have different pressures with their images blown up on large screens from doing what they can to halt the appearance of aging, with some less than ideal results, but as a fashion for the young it is completely insane.

I'm very much in the camp of do whatever you want with your face but it does make me sad there is so much emphasis on a woman's looks while the same can't be said for men. Men don't have the same pressure to dye their grey hair, nor are they called 'unprofessional' for not wanting to wear thick makeup to work. And before someone points out that men grooming their facial hair is akin to women wearing makeup, I disagree. Grooming their facial hair is akin to grooming your eyebrows. Why are men's bare faces good enough but mine isn't?

For the first 35 years of my life people felt it OK to tell me, many times a day how tired I looked. Omg are you OK you look knackered! Hi how are you you look tired. Hi, fancy a coffee, oh look at you, so tired.

So fuck off with your judgment. My reply used to be I'm not tired I'm just fucking ugly, get used to it. Since I had Botox and fillers and lower lid surgery not one single person has ever told me I look tired. I am no more beautiful or less beautiful but I am allowed to go about my business without being constantly judged. Bugger off and judge people for their behavior not their looks.

You're not in your teens or early twenties, though, with your brain still forming...

I get this..

you look knackered a lot too.. very frustrating 🙄

I would have done something about my face when I was 15 if I had the option. It's actually more damaging when yoh are young. Im old now and don't need to look young or beautiful but love the fillers and botox for protecting me from rude people. Is it a mask? Maybe in some ways but who cares? So so so much to worry about in the world, so many issues surround g young women to worry about. Worry about the actual issues and stop being a part of the problem.

I often wonder why a lot of young girls have their lips and eyebrows done, some of the lips are so huge, they look like they have been pumped up with a bicycle pump,and might exploded if they get in a passionate kiss with someone. Some of the slug like eyebrows are very odd,and don't match the face area. But all trends I expect, but it all amazes me really, as lots of these treatments, make lots of women all look the same, kind of identical.

You sound very defensive and obviously not a fan of the Mumsnet audience so I’m mystified why you have posted, but anyway.

It’s just the fashion now. Spurred on by Social Media that was never a thing in our day. If it wasn’t this it would be something else.

I could easily have written a similar post 30 years ago (apart from lack of internet/forums) about elderly ladies who seemed to all think having their grey/white hair dyed pink or purple was normal. The majority I came across had pink/purple hair as standard. Guessing they thought it was better grey/white but not sure how they arrived at that conclusion. Also not sure why they didn’t just dye it a natural hair colour, maybe some reason or just fashion? I didn’t however feel the need to inform them that hair was meant to be grey/white as they aged, because I’m not a dick.

It just made me so sad

Honestly Op, I’d save my sadness for other things. What people do with their face is entirely up to them and as long as it’s not any adult children you may have coming home looking awful I just wouldn’t bother about how anyone else looks.

@Serpenta

Oh well there you go. Kim K was making some people paranoid about their hip dips in 2011. Thumbs up to Kim

Ok up to now I've been a fan of subtle tweakments. Baby -Botox once or twice a year and maybe 0.5 mil lip filler every now and then.

But watching Kim K crying on the last ep of their show- I say crying, it's like she was trying to cry- tears emerged but nothing moved. At all. At best it looked like the kind of straining that goes on in the loo.

Not a good look and has actually really put me off. Natural expressions of emotion are underrated.

@H2OConnoisseur

I'm very much in the camp of do whatever you want with your face but it does make me sad there is so much emphasis on a woman's looks while the same can't be said for men. Men don't have the same pressure to dye their grey hair, nor are they called 'unprofessional' for not wanting to wear thick makeup to work. And before someone points out that men grooming their facial hair is akin to women wearing makeup, I disagree. Grooming their facial hair is akin to grooming your eyebrows. Why are men's bare faces good enough but mine isn't?

My practitioner tells me the biggest uptake in Botox-seekers are men 🤷🏻‍♀️.

"My practitioner tells me the biggest uptake in Botox-seekers are men 🤷🏻‍♀️."

A quick Google tells me 90% of Botox users are women so, if what your practitioner says is true, they've got a long ways to go. Still seems like mostly women who are under this kind of pressure.

The biggest problem in the UK is that nurses and beauty therapists are allowed to do these treatments. My doctor is a Co sultan dermatologist and a member of the royal college is surgeons. She spent at least 10 minutes with her pencil and protractor. I doubt anyone would think anything other than I look less like shit. It's not a task for a nurse or non medically trained person, the Industry should be properly regulated to prevent all the duck faces floating around.

They have things done to themselves because they want to.

That’s as far as it goes. Personally, I can’t get worked up over other peoples choices and how they arrived at them.

I think when done nicely and subtlety it can look lovely. However, overdone looks horrendous. You only have to look at the towie girls to see this! Beautiful girls so pumped up with Botox and fillers they can hardly open their eyes.

I try not to judge people on their appearance. Ever since I watched that dramatization of the goth teenagers who were attacked I have made a great effort to not judge people's choices. Personally I can't imagine why people fill their faces with metal, it doesn't make sense to me. But why do they do it? Because it makes them happy, it's a way of expressing who you are and saying I'm fine with that. Well that's all any of us want so please save your pity for people who have t found the freedom to be happy with themselves.

so many issues surround g young women to worry about. Worry about the actual issues and stop being a part of the problem.

But surely this is one of the issues - the constant pressure to conform to some artificial ideal portrayed in the media. I mean it would be OK if it was about keeping fit or healthy eating. But it's not. It's about having procedures that permanently alter your face and that cost money both at the time and because of the (perceived) need for ongoing treatment. And what about the mental health issues of those who can't afford it, or get into debt because of it, or who discover that it isn't the answer to all their woes?