Cat got run over [Content warning added by MNHQ - graphic description]

[bettertimesareacoming]

Hi I am just wondering if you all think I am being unreasonable. My partner seems to think I am and lost patience with me lastnight telling me this stuff happens all the time and it's just a cat .

Coming home from shopping lastnight and I see a few people at the side of the road . I noticed it was a cat and as I drove closer it was covered in blood . I jump out and ask what happened and they said a man had drove over him and drive off . They didn't know what to do with him but picked him off the road .

I grabbed a towel and picked him up and took him in the car . He was covered in blood and screaming . The smell of the blood was horrific. I was phoning around vets and finally found one half hour away . All I could hear was the cat struggling to breath the whole way . Finally got him to the vets and when they picked him up I noticed the extent of the injuries . He had been hit on the head and the force had knocked his eyes out and broke his jaw . He was crying and his mouth was in hell of a mess . I just broke down . They asked if I wanted to stay and I did .

The bet took a look and said the best thing to do was to pts but it was my decision. I said yes . No one has come forward saying this cat is theirs. I have been asking around all night .

It has really shock me up . I'm still a mess in work now . I can't stop thinking of the suffering he went thought and what kind of person does that and drives off ! I just feel so upset and can't snap out of it .

Stupid question really because I am an animal lover but is it normal to feel the way I am ? I felt guilty all last night because I could see I was doing my partners head in being upset .

I spent over an hour cleaning all the blood and fur out of my car too . So getting in it this morning made me worse !

Oh that’s so sad but also the best ending in those circumstances and it was lovely of the owner to send you those pictures. If my cat was run over, I’d be very grateful if someone as compassionate and empathetic as you was there for them in their final hours.
Also, as an aside, PLEASE post a thread in relationships about your partner. He sounds like a nasty piece of work (much like some of the people on this thread ) and it sounds like you could do with some support on that front

I was out with a Friend years ago when we noticed a Cat at the side of the road. This one was already deceased but both of us been huge Cat lovers wrapped him up in a towel and walked him to the nearest Vets. His eye had also burst out and it's an image I'll never forget. Thankfully this Cat was chipped so they were able to contact the owners. I'm often called cruel by my own family because I choose not to let my Cat go outside. He used to do when he was little because I could grab him quickly but as he grew bigger I quickly realised he had zero road sense when he laid in the middle of the road in the path of an oncoming double decker bus. After that if he wanted to go out he was harnessed. Now though he's happy to lay on my bed spending the days sleeping. Eating and having cuddles. Thank you for caring OP

I think you can do a lot better than your partner OP.

Thank you for updating OP. I’m sure the owner is devastated but knowing someone so kind looked after him at the end will comfort her going forward. You really do sound lovely.

Please get rid of your partner, you really do deserve so much better. His comments when your nan died are awful and I think most people would find them unforgivable. You are much too good for him.

Wow. You did the right thing. That sounds extremely traumatic. Poor cat.
His owner will want to know that you did what you Could to save the cat.

Sorry just saw your update I am pleased that owner got in touch and made it clear that they were pleased you did what you could
I also cannot believe that other passers by did nothing for the cat rather than gawp.
Is hit and running a cat an offence? I’d like to think the perpetrator, if caught, gets into trouble

Bless you OP 💐 I had tears in my eyes reading your post. I’m glad there are gentle and caring people like you on the planet.

Your partner should be there for you no matter what - he doesn’t get to dictate what matters to you. Please reconsider your relationship.

@HoppingPavlova Sorry, yes, point taken!

Hope you’re doing OK, OP.

His owner will want to know that you did what you Could to save the cat.

To be fair, I don’t think it was a case of trying to save it as those injuries are not survivable and even if possible no vet would recommend trying due to the lifelong resulting pain and quality of life issues. At that point it’s about going all out to stop the acute pain and suffering, which the OP did and that’s what’s important. To be ‘responsible’ for an animal or human who is suffering greatly until you can get them assistance is traumatic. For people to shrug this off or not understand is extremely odd. OP is definitely far too good for her partner as well, that’s for sure.

@skirk64

*I honestly worry about people with your mentality. It was a living thing that was massively hurt and seeing that would make any ‘normal’ person feel upset. It’s not “extreme” to feel like that.*

It's natural to be upset when you see a living creature mangled in the way the OP describes. However, in the natural world, violence happens all the time. Seeing a fox ripping a chicken apart or a weasel taking down a rabbit is pretty grim. "Nature porn" documentaries bring it into our living rooms in graphic detail.

If we were as affected as the OP was by every instance of death and cruelty to an animal - inflicted by humans or by other animals - our lives would be in a constant state of worry and despair.

We have to have limits to our empathy. I feel sad when I see a squished bunny at the side of the road, glad when I see a dead badger. I wouldn't kill a fish but am happy to get the fly spray out or "pop" a spider.

This is not the same thing at all but you know that. That’s like saying “you can’t be upset someone died of cancer because people die of cancer all the time”.. Cats are domestic pets and are big parts of our lives so of course it would upset someone. I get upset when I see dead wildlife on the side of the road but I would be extremely upset to see a dead cat/ dog or go through what the op did. You sound a little unhinged tbh, who would be glad to see a dead badger?! Disturbing..

You sound a little unhinged tbh, who would be glad to see a dead badger?!
Disturbing..

I agree. There are some weird fuckers around.

That sounds so traumatic. You were so kind & acted so quickly. The fact he clung to you at the vets set me off tbh. Please tell yourself you did all you do could. Your partner laughing tho. That really shocked me. It's so callous
I'd feel really shaken if that was someone I'd thought of as a kind human being. Is that his norm?

Oh my goodness, your partner’s reaction to your grief over your Nan is unbelievable! If I was you, I would get rid & find a decent caring guy worthy of your love.

Hi I'm sorry I have took so long to reply . I actually feel worse today . I suffer badly with anxiety and I have managed to get in where I can manage it these last few months but obviously after Tuesday it's made it come back . My partner said I was shouting in my sleep lastnight saying don't run out on to the road . I don't remember any of it but I think it's do for with the poor cat . What upset me more if that is possible ha ha . My daughter who is 15 needed to be picked up on the way to the vets I told her the situation but I don't think she realised how bad it was . She got in the back and was ok . My daughter is the complete opposite to me . She follows her father for empathy . Well when the vet come to get the cat off us when he was trying to cling on he looked up and started meowing and she seen the extent of his face and in his mouth and she burst out crying . I'm constantly asking if she's ok and I can tell she's not . Driving to work this morning listening to the poor little boy who got struck by lightning. What his parents must be going through right now is unimaginable and there me bawling over what happened with the cat it does make me actually think I am being so selfish and stupid . X

@SherryPalmer

I feel sorry for the cat (and you for having to go through that). I don’t understand why people let their cats roam the streets when they don’t have any road sense. Is it really worth it. Are free-range cats really that much happier than those in a cat-proofed garden/indoor cats?

Hi 😊 I actually don't think they are happier . I had a Bengal years ago and everyone was saying don't let her out because she will get stollen so I kept her in . But she was like some kind of crazed wild animal literally climbing my walls 😂! She was the nuttiest cat I ever had ! We saved loads of strays they were all calm . Well this one day she escaped . We were all out looking for her . 2 am I was still up and I could hear crying . I opened the door . It still makes me laugh now I don't know what she had got up too but she was covered in what I think was cow crap think she must of started rolling in it and was literally crying like a baby ! I showered her and she didn't leave my side all . Furthest she would go was the garden after that 😀 x

Yes it's terrible about that poor boy, op, but it doesn't mean you should feel stupid about still being upset over the cat. There's no sliding scale of how upset you should be over different tragedies.

I hope you start to feel better soon

You sound like a lovely person and the fact that you stayed with the poor little cat made me want to cry. We need more people like you in the world . I hate using this word but the driver who hit the cat and drove off is a massive cunt .

You're lovely and did what you could. I've hit a cat on a bypass and a dog on a small road. I couldn't stop for the cat so had to do a huge circle but it was very dead. The dog I sat with whilst my son ran to the closest house, they were more apologetic about the damage to my car which I found so silly and was sad to hear he died. Two of my cats have been hit on very rural roads and no one helped them. They're both fine now.

Sorry you went through that, poor you, poor cat and poor owner! Your partner sounds like a knob.

It's definitely normal. We as humans are empathetic and it disturbs us to see another being suffer. I think women are more so than some men.
Thank you for helping the cat.

Also this reminds me why I'm not cruel for keeping my own boys (ragdoll cats) safe as indoor kitties. I'd never forgive myself if this happened to them.

@Unobtainium

I just re-read your OP and updates and honestly *@bettertimesareacoming* you have a heart of pure gold, your partner is a douchebag and you deserve so much better. Thank you again on behalf of pet owners, cat lovers and those of us who struggle to think of any living creature suffering, thank you so much for what you did for the cat, you were so kind. You have properly touched my heart.

This. ^

Coming in a little late to this thread, and I don't think I have seen so many deletions so early on in a thread.

@bettertimesareacoming What a horrible thing to have to experience. Good for you for trying to help the poor kittee!

Also, your partner sounds like an arsehole. I don't think I would be able to spend my life with a man who thinks 'it's just a cat!' I love my cats dearly (and so does my DH thankfully!) And I will be crushed when they're gone. I have no time for ANYone who has no compassion and love for animals...

Agree with the posters on here saying you sound like a lovely gently old softie, and you deserve better than the man you currently have.