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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cat got run over [Content warning added by MNHQ - graphic description]

141 replies

bettertimesareacoming · 11/05/2021 06:00

Hi I am just wondering if you all think I am being unreasonable. My partner seems to think I am and lost patience with me lastnight telling me this stuff happens all the time and it's just a cat .

Coming home from shopping lastnight and I see a few people at the side of the road . I noticed it was a cat and as I drove closer it was covered in blood . I jump out and ask what happened and they said a man had drove over him and drive off . They didn't know what to do with him but picked him off the road .

I grabbed a towel and picked him up and took him in the car . He was covered in blood and screaming . The smell of the blood was horrific. I was phoning around vets and finally found one half hour away . All I could hear was the cat struggling to breath the whole way . Finally got him to the vets and when they picked him up I noticed the extent of the injuries . He had been hit on the head and the force had knocked his eyes out and broke his jaw . He was crying and his mouth was in hell of a mess . I just broke down . They asked if I wanted to stay and I did .

The bet took a look and said the best thing to do was to pts but it was my decision. I said yes . No one has come forward saying this cat is theirs. I have been asking around all night .

It has really shock me up . I'm still a mess in work now . I can't stop thinking of the suffering he went thought and what kind of person does that and drives off ! I just feel so upset and can't snap out of it .

Stupid question really because I am an animal lover but is it normal to feel the way I am ? I felt guilty all last night because I could see I was doing my partners head in being upset .

I spent over an hour cleaning all the blood and fur out of my car too . So getting in it this morning made me worse !

OP posts:
LagneyandCasey · 11/05/2021 07:46

I still think about a dying hedgehog I found at the side of the road 10 years ago. He was making awful noises and very injured. I carried him to the vet where he was quickly put to sleep. I cried walking home wearing my bloody coat that I'd wrapped him in. Dh was wonderful and still is when I bring up the subject. We are both big animal lovers.

I'd say someone who isn't affected by a dying animal or doesn't support a loved who who is affected isn't someone I'd like to know.

Sending you love, op. Well done for taking care of the poor cat. It's a selfless thing to do. Look after yourself Flowers

justlonelystars · 11/05/2021 07:47

Not at all. I had a similar incident where there was a very squashed, dead cat outside my house and I scooped him up and took him to the vet. It stayed with me for weeks, he was so horrifically injured. Thank you for doing what you could for that poor little cat in his time of need.

Rupertpenrysmistress · 11/05/2021 07:52

Well done op for taking charge and getting that poor cat some help.
I would feel like you to it sounded very traumatic and I only read your description I didn't see it.
I think it will feel raw for a few days and hopefully fade, try not to focus on the memories just the fact you got that cat help as soon as possible and put an end to it's suffering.
That was a very kind and humane thing to do. Did you find the owner?

Thehawki · 11/05/2021 07:52

Oh OP that sounds like a horrible thing to have happened, it’s likely that your partner isn’t thinking about any of the pain, blood or gore that happened and doesn’t realise how traumatic it was. You were an angel to this cat, you saved him from possibly hours of unnecessary pain. Look after yourself and rest well in the knowledge that you are an empathetic, kind hearted person. We need more of you around x

KaleSlayer · 11/05/2021 07:52

Honestly, to me that level of ambivalence about your own avoidable killing of animals comes across as a bit disturbing. I see you are explaining but your explanations and further posts make it sound worse to me!

And there’s something quite chilling about someone who comes onto a thread where a poster is very distressed about the death of an animal, to tell us how many animals she’s killed over the years. And keeps coming back to give us more information. Attention seeking or deeply disturbed individual.

scoobiedoobiedoo · 11/05/2021 07:54

Thank you for doing that for the cat, you did everything you could and shortened the poor cats suffering.

Whoarethewho · 11/05/2021 08:01

Look at the side of any road there is so much dead wildlife. Being in the country and driving wildlife will end up getting killed and whilst people don't use cars to kill animals deliberately (a deer causes significant car damage). It is quite conceivable that the driver didn't notice. And as pointed out do long as they didn't do it deliberately they have done nothing illegal.

Whoarethewho · 11/05/2021 08:03

But yes thanks op for putting the cat out of it misery and dealing with it.

Sparklingbrook · 11/05/2021 08:03

@KaleSlayer

Honestly, to me that level of ambivalence about your own avoidable killing of animals comes across as a bit disturbing. I see you are explaining but your explanations and further posts make it sound worse to me!

And there’s something quite chilling about someone who comes onto a thread where a poster is very distressed about the death of an animal, to tell us how many animals she’s killed over the years. And keeps coming back to give us more information. Attention seeking or deeply disturbed individual.

Yes, I think that's the strangest part, posting with glee about killing animals on the road on a thread where the OP is clearly distressed. Mmm.

Thanks for doing what you did @bettertimesareacoming, many wouldn't. Flowers

lollipoprainbow · 11/05/2021 08:03

@BeneathYourWisdom yeah why bother trying to save it just kill it off there and then. Can't believe people defending the driver, maybe it was a genuine accident but there are cunts who drive too fast, mow down animals and drive off and I suspect they were one of them. To be honest I'm glad for the op graphic description it might make people think about driving more carefully.

KizzyKat91 · 11/05/2021 08:04

You’re not being unreasonable at all. I witnessed a similar incident about 18 months ago and also took the cat to the vet. I was covered in it’s blood and later had to tell my neighbour, who was the owner.
It caused me huge distress and I became quite depressed afterwards. I had nightmares and just couldn’t stop thinking about how scared it would have been and the amount of pain and horror it went through. I still get flashbacks and have a bit of cry now.

Everyone around me acted with complete compassion though and were nothing but sympathetic. If I had a partner who reacted like yours, I would have LTB.

lollipoprainbow · 11/05/2021 08:05

Thank you OP if my darling cat was god forbid run over I'd hope that someone as kind and caring as you would find him. ThanksThanksThanks

lollipoprainbow · 11/05/2021 08:08

@Whoarethewho it's nothing to do with It not being illegal it's about having the Common decency not to drive off ffs !!

DizzySquirrel90 · 11/05/2021 08:09

Bless you OP, thank you for looking after the cat. The world needs more people like you. ❤️

Lalliella · 11/05/2021 08:09

OP you are a lovely person, really caring and compassionate. Your OP on the other hand... Of course you’re traumatised, it sounds like a horrific experience.

Have you thought about trying to find the cat’s owner? Maybe put up some posters or put something in your local Facebook group. They need to know what happened to their DCat. And you can reassure them that he was with you and was cared for.

HerMammy · 11/05/2021 08:11

OP you were kind and compassionate in this little cats time of need.
You could post the details with cats description on local FB groups esp pet ones and hopefully the owner could be found, cats don’t tend to roam too far, so likely local.

DizzySquirrel90 · 11/05/2021 08:11

Also don't think I could be with a man who would say such words 'just a cat'. It's someone's pet, part of someone's family.

I'm lucky my partner is as much an animal lover as myself.

Shmithecat2 · 11/05/2021 08:11

Yanbu OP, that sounds so traumatic, and I'd have reacted totally the same. Your DP however Hmm... honestly, it's not even about his thoughts about it being 'just a cat' (which is pretty shitty imo), it his lack of empathy for you. My DH, for all his faults, would've, and indeed has in the past many times, made me tea/poured me a glass of wine, given me a big hug and told me at least the cat had some care and love in its last moments. That's what you need to console yourself with. You did a kind thing. Your DP is an asshat.

Plumbears · 11/05/2021 08:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Plumbears · 11/05/2021 08:17

Sorry.... Got distracted by that unpleasantness.

OP you did the right thing, you were there for your cat when she needed you. She will have felt that in her heart. That is the most important thing.

Imnotcrazyjustdrunk · 11/05/2021 08:18

Thank you for caring and helping the poor cat at the end of their life.
Your partner is being an unsympathetic arse, it may have been shock from him to start with but I hope he is supporting and empathising now.
You did the right thing.

ConstanceGracy · 11/05/2021 08:20

What you did was a lovely thing and just reading it made me tear up.
Your partner sounds like a dick and I’d really struggle to get past behaviour like that.

Meruem · 11/05/2021 08:31

You did a very kind thing OP and it’s understandable that you feel so upset. Any decent human being would feel the same. But hold onto the fact that you saved the cat from further suffering.

People say it’s cruel to keep cats indoors but the average life expectancy of any outdoor cat is years lower than an indoor one for reasons like this. My last outdoor cat came home with his paw hanging on by a thread after being attacked by a fox, he needed surgery and was luckily ok but it’s hard. This time I specifically went for an indoor breed. They may just be cats but I’d be utterly devastated if anything happened to mine.

GabriellaMontez · 11/05/2021 08:38

That sounds like a horrible experience.

But your partner is right. It is just a cat. I think your response is extreme. But it does sound like perhaps he is the other extreme.

sluj · 11/05/2021 08:39

Thank you for helping that poor cat. I was involved in helping a run over cat a couple of years ago. He died in my arms and still think about him every day when I drive up that road.
I have asked MN to put a warning on this thread though as I think it's potentially distressing for people to read .