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AIBU?

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Original poster

Cat got run over [Content warning added by MNHQ - graphic description]

141 replies

bettertimesareacoming · 11/05/2021 06:00

Hi I am just wondering if you all think I am being unreasonable. My partner seems to think I am and lost patience with me lastnight telling me this stuff happens all the time and it's just a cat .

Coming home from shopping lastnight and I see a few people at the side of the road . I noticed it was a cat and as I drove closer it was covered in blood . I jump out and ask what happened and they said a man had drove over him and drive off . They didn't know what to do with him but picked him off the road .

I grabbed a towel and picked him up and took him in the car . He was covered in blood and screaming . The smell of the blood was horrific. I was phoning around vets and finally found one half hour away . All I could hear was the cat struggling to breath the whole way . Finally got him to the vets and when they picked him up I noticed the extent of the injuries . He had been hit on the head and the force had knocked his eyes out and broke his jaw . He was crying and his mouth was in hell of a mess . I just broke down . They asked if I wanted to stay and I did .

The bet took a look and said the best thing to do was to pts but it was my decision. I said yes . No one has come forward saying this cat is theirs. I have been asking around all night .

It has really shock me up . I'm still a mess in work now . I can't stop thinking of the suffering he went thought and what kind of person does that and drives off ! I just feel so upset and can't snap out of it .

Stupid question really because I am an animal lover but is it normal to feel the way I am ? I felt guilty all last night because I could see I was doing my partners head in being upset .

I spent over an hour cleaning all the blood and fur out of my car too . So getting in it this morning made me worse !

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 11/05/2021 08:41

Your partner seems a complete arsehole and so do certain others on this thread. I believe a trait of serial killers is the ability to shrug off pain and suffering and they start this with animals and then it extends to other humans.

OP, I’m sorry you had that experience, and obviously sorry the cat had that experience. The memory will stay with you for quite some time I’m afraid but at least you cared and made sure the poor thing was put out of it’s misery, that is priceless.

Unobtainium · 11/05/2021 08:47

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ConstanceGracy · 11/05/2021 08:49

@GabriellaMontez

That sounds like a horrible experience.

But your partner is right. It is just a cat. I think your response is extreme. But it does sound like perhaps he is the other extreme.

I honestly worry about people with your mentality. It was a living thing that was massively hurt and seeing that would make any ‘normal’ person feel upset. It’s not “extreme” to feel like that.
BadEyeBri · 11/05/2021 08:49

Thank you for taking the wee cat to the vets ❤️

lollipoprainbow · 11/05/2021 09:02

@ConstanceGracy I agree, some of the comments on here astound me also.

Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 11/05/2021 09:02

Thank you for what you did for that cat Flowers.

Coffeeisnecessary · 11/05/2021 09:11

It always amazes me to hear what goes on in other people's heads, don't know how people can be so flippant about a living thing in pain. Op you did a good thing in helping that poor cat, I've lost 2 cats to the road and it's horrific and upsetting, but would be so much better knowing someone who cared was with it and made the best decision for it.

Coffeeisnecessary · 11/05/2021 09:12

Also your partner sounds like a knob.

bigbeatmanifesto · 11/05/2021 09:18

Thank god for people like you, my kitten was in a hit and run in early March and similarly his injuries were so bad he wouldn't of survived. It was only thanks to a kind neighbor who stopped after the car that hit him and recognised his fluffy coat & that he was ours and we were able to have him PTS and say goodbye.
I hope your okay you did a very kind thing and cat owners like myself would be very thankful.
Thanks

Jocasta2018 · 11/05/2021 09:24

Your 'D'P is being completely unreasonable & showing a scary lack of empathy. I would see this as a rather large red flag but maybe that's a knee jerk reaction as I'm an animal lover.

Whatever anyone thinks about pet owners allowing their cats out of the house with all the risks this involves, the OP has seen a sentient animal in agony following an accident, with all the awfulness & despair that involves.

OP - thank you for doing your best with the cat & helping it get the treatment it needed. Please consider getting some counselling as you have seen the truly brutal side of life & death - something that the majority of us rarely see.
A vet friend freely admits they have counselling & they signed up for the job. It helps them cope with seeing the pain of the animals & providing support for their owners.

CausingChaos2 · 11/05/2021 09:31

You did a very kind and selfless thing. Your reaction now is normal - you witnessed a very shocking and awful thing. Your quick reaction meant the cat could be relieved from their suffering. I won’t give details but I have had similar experiences with animals and it’s not easy to forget. One in particular always comes into my mind when I drive the same road despite it being many, many years ago.

Gottalovesummer · 11/05/2021 09:43

This is so upsetting to read.

Thank you for helping the cat xx

skirk64 · 11/05/2021 09:47

I honestly worry about people with your mentality.
It was a living thing that was massively hurt and seeing that would make any ‘normal’ person feel upset. It’s not “extreme” to feel like that.

It's natural to be upset when you see a living creature mangled in the way the OP describes. However, in the natural world, violence happens all the time. Seeing a fox ripping a chicken apart or a weasel taking down a rabbit is pretty grim. "Nature porn" documentaries bring it into our living rooms in graphic detail.

If we were as affected as the OP was by every instance of death and cruelty to an animal - inflicted by humans or by other animals - our lives would be in a constant state of worry and despair.

We have to have limits to our empathy. I feel sad when I see a squished bunny at the side of the road, glad when I see a dead badger. I wouldn't kill a fish but am happy to get the fly spray out or "pop" a spider.

SamMil · 11/05/2021 09:51

I'm so sorry. Of course it's natural to feel like this about a traumatising event.

I had a similar incident with a rabbit about 10 years ago. It still makes me sad now when I think about it, and people were just driving around it until I stopped.

SwimmingOnEggshells · 11/05/2021 09:54

@bettertimesareacoming you sound lovely, that would be incredibly distressing for me. Your DP sounds quite insensitive.

AnonGlitterBomb · 11/05/2021 09:58

Thank you for taking the poor thing to the vet. At least he had some dignity and justice in the end and that was thanks to you. I know you couldn’t find the owner but you did all you could and I’m sure if the owner knew, they would be so grateful to you Flowers
Your DH is being really really unkind and insensitive. I would be incredibly upset having seen what you saw. It’s just horrific.

HoppingPavlova · 11/05/2021 10:04

If we were as affected as the OP was by every instance of death and cruelty to an animal - inflicted by humans or by other animals - our lives would be in a constant state of worry and despair.

That’s ridiculous. It was a cat. Cats are very common pets. It doesn’t take much of a stretch (for most people anyway), to see how extreme injury and distress of an animal that is most commonly a pet would be incredibly upsetting. It’s different to a fox killing and eating a rabbit or people swatting a fly or killing a cockroach. You sound lacking in empathy and a few other qualities.

HalfTermHalfTerm · 11/05/2021 10:34

@skirk64 why on earth are you glad when you see a dead badger?

ilovesooty · 11/05/2021 10:41

Thank you for caring and doing the compassionate thing for this cat. Flowers

Original poster
bettertimesareacoming · 11/05/2021 10:53

Hi everyone I'm sorry I am taking so long to reply I'm in work but have just taken my break . I have some good news . I have managed to track down the owner . I put a status up as soon as I found the cat hoping the owner would see it in time to be with him and make the final decision but unfortunately she didn't . She has expressed how grateful she is and is going to contact the vet this morning . She has also sent me some photos of him from just a few days ago . Bitter sweet really but it is nice to see just how loved he was . I'm shocked at some of the comments on here mins but I do understand we are all different. I don't even kill spiders myself and it is a pain in the ass bring me because anything like this does really get to me . Any animal cruelty , suffering I can't deal with . A few weeks back I ran over a squirrel ! I was devastated. I ran out and picked it up again was going to go to the vets but it died in my hands . Every time I drive that road to work I think about it . You all have made me feel a lot better ❤️. It definitely could of been worse for the cat in the end . He could of been left there . I have had a lot of issues with my partner over the years . My Nan died 2 years ago she was like my mother . I have never lived anyone like I did her . She was the kindest person I have ever met . I was lucky to be there when she past away . My partner after a week told me then to shut up crying and to get over it . Think that's another story for the relationship board lol x

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 11/05/2021 10:55

My partner after a week told me then to shut up crying and to get over it .

Get rid. Seriously.

HoppingPavlova · 11/05/2021 10:57

HalfTermHalfTerm -why on earth are you glad when you see a dead badger?

For the love of god don’t encourage them. They seem to relish in it. Don’t feed it.

LagneyandCasey · 11/05/2021 10:59

My Nan died 2 years ago she was like my mother . I have never lived anyone like I did her . She was the kindest person I have ever met . I was lucky to be there when she past away . My partner after a week told me then to shut up crying and to get over it

Oh op, that's so much worse than his callous words over the cat. You deserve better Flowers

liloandstench · 11/05/2021 11:00

YANBU

  1. Because of the type of injuries. That's really disturbing and I'm concerned for anyone who wouldn't be by the sight of that poor cat
  1. Even if it is "just" a cat, people also get run over by cars. Doesn't that make him think about a person being struck by a car (and how they'd have similar injuries?).
summersolstice43 · 11/05/2021 11:02

You sound like an amazing person, not many people would have done that so thank you for doing what you could.

I get upset when I see wild animals at the side of a road never mind a pet. I'd certainly be in bits so I'm not surprised you are feeling the way you do. Its very natural if you are a loving person.