Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TW: would I be unreasonable to report my dad after finding potential child/non consentual porn

107 replies

Throwawayadvice · 10/05/2021 16:56

I (21f) have broken my phone, I'm visiting my parents for a few days due to my health. My dad (58m) has 3 phones, I always found it weird he said he used them for gaming. Mine broke and I asked if I could borrow one until I get a new one and put my sim in it. He did relutantly, I opened Google and there were loads of open tabs including quite a lot of porn. The searches include puberty, youngest girl, spoilt vigrins, punching, incest and non consentual ect. I am disgusted, background I was sexually assaulted when I was a teenager by a friends brother, my whole family know this as it went to court. I dont have a brilliant realtionship with my father anyway, he used to hit me as a child and I would have to try and placate him to stop him targeting my brother too, I went to therapy for this as I had to almost act as an adult while my mom was at work. WIBU if I report what I found? I'm tempted to talk to my mom but she's been through a lot lately.

OP posts:
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 10/05/2021 18:37

@Naunet

Fucking hell, if punching, non consensual and puberty are mainstream, the Not All Men lot can piss right off.😮
@Naunet who has said Not All Men? Some of us have pointed out that these are popular terms on legal, mainstream sites and the police won't be interested
Naunet · 10/05/2021 19:06

@Naunet who has said Not All Men? Some of us have pointed out that these are popular terms on legal, mainstream sites and the police won't be interested

I wasn’t referring to anyone on here, but in general. You’re surely aware of the term Not All Men?

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 10/05/2021 19:09

@Naunet I am yes but considering you said "the Not All Men lot can piss right off" I (very fairly) assumed you were referring to people on here. Otherwise you're attacking people who, although are misogynistic pricks, haven't even said anything about this.

Iamaperiwinkle · 10/05/2021 19:10

@Throwawayadvice

Thank you for your comments, I am going to make an online report to the police as I really don't feel right doing nothing. The links/videos are all from one site it's not something like pornhub I am not going to look at it or search it. I feel really anxious about this, and this has triggered quite a lot of past trauma. I'm also feel sick about staying at the house, especially given some of the names of the links.
Can you leave and take the phone and hand it in to the police station?

That's what I would do.

Iamaperiwinkle · 10/05/2021 19:11

I would find it very upsetting and traumatic particularly as of what you said you went through to find this on anyone's phone let alone my own father's. So please seek RL support

NiceGerbil · 10/05/2021 19:13

Studies on mainstream sites have shown that a large amount of content depicts non consensual sex/ violence against women.

Incest is one of the most popular search terms.

The idea that depictions of this would have a site shut down are just that, an idea. It's not what happens.

Plenty of sites host actual rape/ underage girls but they just say oh no it's all acting.

EG p*nhub hosting content of a girl I think she was 15 and had been abducted. Her rape/s were on the site. She and her family contacted them repeatedly and they did nothing for ages, until it got into the press I think.

A lot of posters on here are understandably shocked and believe that this and that is illegal which sadly it isn't.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 10/05/2021 19:14

@Iamaperiwinkle it doesn't work like that - they'll cease all devices from the house

DishingOutDone · 10/05/2021 19:16

Op I am sorry this is your dad. You deserve love and support from your parents.

Ilovelove · 10/05/2021 19:17

I wish all of this would have names that depict the reality of the vile content that it really is. Even the word porn is not correct for the dehumanising violence that it is.

Themadcatparade · 10/05/2021 19:37

You have done the right thing, what a horrible situation to be in. I’m so sorry you’ve experienced that Op Flowers

BetterThanKleenex · 10/05/2021 19:52

@Meme69 It's illegal to possess, redistribute, etc. But not illegal to search for it or watch it. And police wouldn't investigate further if they thought he was only searching/watching it.

If OP has proof and/or knowledge of her father possessing images, etc, then they would look into it.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 10/05/2021 19:55

@Ilovelove

I wish all of this would have names that depict the reality of the vile content that it really is. Even the word porn is not correct for the dehumanising violence that it is.
I agree. And it's terrifying how it's accepted
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 10/05/2021 19:57

@BetterThanKleenex of course it's illegal to watch indecent images/footage of children being abused

NiceGerbil · 10/05/2021 20:12

It is illegal to watch content that shows children being sexually abused.

Doubt it's legal to search it but unless you know where to look I don't think you'd find it easily.

(Unless it's been uploaded to a mainstream site and viewers like to assume it's all ok but they don't actually know that of course).

Meme69 · 10/05/2021 20:40

[quote BetterThanKleenex]@Meme69 It's illegal to possess, redistribute, etc. But not illegal to search for it or watch it. And police wouldn't investigate further if they thought he was only searching/watching it.

If OP has proof and/or knowledge of her father possessing images, etc, then they would look into it.[/quote]
Possession of indecent images – the physical or digital possession of an indecent image which is prohibited by law. I'm not sure how you can watch it without possessing it, but whatever 🙄

Meme69 · 10/05/2021 20:42

Determining intent in viewing child pornography:
To be found guilty of possessing indecent images of children, it is necessary to prove that you were aware of the presence of the indecent images, whether in photograph form or digitally on a laptop, tablet or phone. Knowledge will often be inferred if there has been relevant web search history activity or other corroborative activity which suggests that the user was aware and did view the material.

Original poster
Throwawayadvice · 13/05/2021 13:24

Hi everyone, Thank you for all your advice and support. I have spoken to an officer today and sent all the screenshots of the phone history. They are going to look into the website and also make a intelligence report about my father as they don't have enough evidence to do anything else but at least there is now a record just in case. I haven't told my mum as I was waiting to hear back from the police, i'm not sure what my next steps will be but I feel reassured that I did the right thing notifying the police.

OP posts:
Meme69 · 13/05/2021 14:13

@Throwawayadvice

Hi everyone, Thank you for all your advice and support. I have spoken to an officer today and sent all the screenshots of the phone history. They are going to look into the website and also make a intelligence report about my father as they don't have enough evidence to do anything else but at least there is now a record just in case. I haven't told my mum as I was waiting to hear back from the police, i'm not sure what my next steps will be but I feel reassured that I did the right thing notifying the police.
Well done. At least you have done something
Bells3032 · 13/05/2021 14:28

@BetterThanKleenex it is illegal to watch it. Some teens actually get badly caught up by sending bf/gf nudes which is illegal for them to make and for their partner to see.

I used to work in the anti-child sexual abuse industry. you would be shocked at how easy it is to get hold of this material. whoever said the vast majority is on the deep web is wrong - the vast majority is on mainstream website. Whilst many of them take action and even have automatic filters to remove content it is often not easy. With make up and a pretty dress it is often difficult to tell a 12 year old from a 20 year old if she is well developed young.

A lot of these phrases are mainstream sadly with actors playing fake siblings, or pretending to be raped or coerced, and 18 year old actors playing younger. Even amongst women rape is actually one of the most common sexual fantasies (make of that what you will). I've never heard of punching virgins though...that just sounds weird.

skirk64 · 13/05/2021 15:08

@Throwawayadvice

Hi everyone, Thank you for all your advice and support. I have spoken to an officer today and sent all the screenshots of the phone history. They are going to look into the website and also make a intelligence report about my father as they don't have enough evidence to do anything else but at least there is now a record just in case. I haven't told my mum as I was waiting to hear back from the police, i'm not sure what my next steps will be but I feel reassured that I did the right thing notifying the police.
The next steps will probably be to track his online behaviour and request a copy of all sites visited from his ISP, I believe they have to keep them for two years now.

If there is reasonable suspicion that he has been downloading illegal abuse images the police will turn up unannounced and seize all computer equipment (also things that could be used to browse the web like tablets and phones, things that could record abuse like cameras, and things that abuse images could be stored on - USB drives, CDs, DVDs and so on). It won't just be his property that is seized, anyone living there will have their stuff taken too.

Once seized, he will probably be arrested and questioned and then bailed (unless there is reason to believe he is a threat to others) whilst the seized property can be analysed. This would take several months in most cases and it could be a year or more before it is finished, so even if nothing is found it will be a long while before a decision is made to charge him, and even longer before the seized items are returned (if clean).

My first thought is that you should tell your mum so she isn't so shocked if the police turn up, however, this is bad advice: you must keep silent. If you tell her, she might tell him, and then he might destroy the evidence before the police swoop.

Kkj3 · 13/05/2021 19:03

Surely your dad will sus its you who reported him if the police decide to take action. Do you live with him?

Original poster
Throwawayadvice · 14/05/2021 01:14

@Kkj3 Yes if the police took action he'd know straight away, I don't currently live with them no but was previously back and forth for health reasons. Tbh i'm not scared of him or his reaction, i'm more worried about my mom's reaction and how'd she'd cope.

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock · 14/05/2021 01:24

Your DM would want to know.
Agree with pp's the title of these video's are very low bar it must be warped for youngest new to porn using words like incest, teenager gets whatever.

RoseRedRoseBlue · 14/05/2021 01:27

@EmeraldShamrock it doesn’t help when posters continually use the term ‘child pornography’, which implies legitimacy and consent.

EmeraldShamrock · 14/05/2021 01:33

Meant young teenagers new to porn.
@RoseRedRoseBlue It's something I always correct in RL as sexual abuse or rape of children. I've seen it as CP in newspapers.

Swipe left for the next trending thread