To be cross with our childminder?

[ranging]

Name changed.

DD has been going to the same childminder since she was 8 months and she is now 2.5. She absolutely loves it there and she's very kind and friendly, I get lots of crafts home that DD does and they go out and do a lot.

DD is going through a challenging phase, not doing as she's told, very stubborn, sometimes hitting and biting.

When I picked her up on Friday, the childminder said that she had taken her shoes and socks off in the car and was refusing to put them back on, so she took her out the car and put him on the (wet and muddy) ground in her bare feet and told her basically that's what you get for not putting your shoes on. She apparently got upset by this and then finally allowed her to put her shoes back on.

I was a bit taken aback by this, AIBU to tell her I am not happy about this at all? I'm not sure if this is an ok tactic to use with a toddler but I never would and don't want anyone else to treat her like that either.

My god.

This is we have a generation that cant cope with constructive feedback or manage their emotions.

They are entirely mollycoddled.

@ranging both you and your dd sound like hard work. But your dd is only 2 and going through the terrible twos so she has a good excuse😊. Not sure what yours is.

[quote Hollyhobbi]@ranging both you and your dd sound like hard work. But your dd is only 2 and going through the terrible twos so she has a good excuse😊. Not sure what yours is.[/quote]
I'm glad the OP has left the thread & doesn't have to read your shitty comments.

Really, is there any need? Stop being an arse, eh?

I don’t think it was the childminders finest moment but equally I’m sure your daughter won’t have suffered too much from the incident.

There’s some strange comments on here though, like she’s an excellent childminder and should run parenting classes. 🤪 I really wouldn’t think this would be something that’s advised. The child is only 2.5, so done of these comments are ridiculous.
It might even be something that many parents would do, but I think it’s the sort of thing you would look back on and think, I probably shouldn’t have done that.

I think it’s natural to get upset if your child is upset, however as you have said yourself the child minder is very good and if you entrust your child with someone else providing they are not hurting them you have to go with it.

@EarringsandLipstick

Another question you didn't answer...

I'd actually responding to you.

I admit I got sucked back in again ....

But it doesn't matter - I've substantively answered all your points & it's not enough

You're quite bullying aren't you?

You do like throwing that word around. But then you've done quite a lot of accusing and name calling already haven't you

@EarringsandLipstick

Right so just to be clear it's bullying to ever lift a child against their will?

No, that's not what you asked you asked re TT & I answered that.

But it's fine to physically restrain a child and force them to put on socks and shoes against their will that they don't want to wear, as you said you would do earlier.

Obviously context (again!) matters. But yes of course, it's fine for a parent to put on a child's shoes when needed (it goes without saying - well, to most people - that doesn't include sitting astride them, breaking their foot to put it in the shoe. Just for clarity).

Can you explain the difference please?

1. The difference is you are misquoting me (I answered only about TT as that's what you asked)

1. Plonking a child on a toilet / potty against their will is bullying behaviour. Putting on a child's shoes, while ensuring they don't hit / bite (which was the context in which I made that point earlier, that word 'context' again. Know how much you fail to understand it!) is responsible parenting

HTH.

Ok so just to be clear @EarringsandLipstick

You physically restraining a child to put on shoes and socks they don't want to wear = totally fine

Childminder facilitating child's choice not to wear shoes and lifting her out of the car = bullying.

Yeah totally makes sense