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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To allow 8/9 year olds to walk around a shopping centre alone (I’ll be in centre) for half hour?

224 replies

Egghead81 · 07/05/2021 18:17

My older child has an activity within a shopping centre

I was thinking of my daughter 8.5 and her friend 9 (needless to say telling her mother!) being given a pound each and allowed to go to smiths alone to by some treats and then have a wander in claire’s accessories etc. And then I meet them thirty mins later.

Very sensible girls. Thoughts?

OP posts:
XelaM · 08/05/2021 11:17

A pound won’t get them much. Why not give them £10?

katienana · 08/05/2021 11:23

I would do this, its a good way to start giving a little more independence. I think y5 I was dropped at the cinema with a friend, y6 we started going into town on the bus. At 10 I was also going off for the day on my bike, doing 2 rings on the phone to let my mum know I'd arrived!
My son is 8 I would let him go in a shop alone while I wait outside, next year I'll let him walk to the corner shop. It's too much to go from constant supervision to expecting independence at 12.

CallMeCleo · 08/05/2021 11:30

I'm aghast at how molly-coddled children are these days!

I agree with Bluebird and would add, my friends and I walked to school alone from age 5; by 8 we were going to local parks; by 9 we were allowed to travel around London by bus.

No wonder kids of today are such little snowflakes that they need "safe spaces" at college and faint if they hear a contrary opinion.

Embroideredstars · 08/05/2021 11:31

Perhaps wait outside a shop like Claires and let them have a little free reign but observe from a distance?

I wouldn't let them out of my sight and certainly not another's child.

Fuebombaa · 08/05/2021 11:32

A lot of people being dramatic on this thread..

ThatIsMyPotato · 08/05/2021 11:33

@XelaM

A pound won’t get them much. Why not give them £10?
Yeah need £5-10 to get something worth it
Fixitup2 · 08/05/2021 11:35

@katienana

I would do this, its a good way to start giving a little more independence. I think y5 I was dropped at the cinema with a friend, y6 we started going into town on the bus. At 10 I was also going off for the day on my bike, doing 2 rings on the phone to let my mum know I'd arrived! My son is 8 I would let him go in a shop alone while I wait outside, next year I'll let him walk to the corner shop. It's too much to go from constant supervision to expecting independence at 12.
Same here. But I wouldn’t let an 8 year old wander around a shopping centre for 30 minutes. But it depends on the town and shopping centre I guess. Ours is 4 storeys, next nearest is all outdoors next to a ring road. And my children won’t get phones until 11 so there’s no way to contact me if they get lost/bored, we also don’t go shopping often so they’re not familiar with where the shops are but know the cinema etc. I would let my 8 year old go to the cinema if I saw them in then collected them. So many variables. An 8 year old in year 3 also can’t walk home from school here so that also makes me think it’s too young.
Embroideredstars · 08/05/2021 11:37

I was thinking of the Bull ring in Birmingham so that's very different to a little local square one that child is familiar with. I think kids do need to build resilience and confidence in situations like this so would adapt the "rules accordingly". I assume at that age they don't have a phone show would they get hold of op if there was trouble?

halcyondays · 08/05/2021 12:15

I wouldn’t assume they don’t have phones, plenty of nine year olds do.
Normal where I am for people to start going to the local small shopping centre around nine. Nobody will get lost there. I wouldn’t let them loose in the Metrocentre or somewhere at that age.

NotFrozen · 08/05/2021 12:37

My children aren’t 9 yet, but I think I would let them do this. It’s good for children to develop independence from a young age.

KizzyMoo · 08/05/2021 13:21

Definitely not!

MustBeTheWine · 08/05/2021 14:13

I wouldn't personally. I have a 9 year old and I wouldn't be comfortable with this.

PresentingPercy · 08/05/2021 14:32

I’m staggered at the number of very untrustworthy dc in this thread. They need to be taught independence and how to stick to rules and navigate around a shopping centre. It’s way safer than riding a bike.

Y6: ages 10–11, Y5: ages 9-10, Y4: ages 8-9, Y3: ages 7-8. Depends when birthday is but child could be Y3 or 4. Friend is Y4 or a later birthday in Y5.

Still fairly pathetic DC cannot spend 30 minutes in a shopping centre. What exactly is the chance in real life that anything will happen to them? It’s a minuscule risk for sensible children. Assuming they have a phone and can read and are not sen.

Fixitup2 · 08/05/2021 14:39

@PresentingPercy but assuming they have a phone when the majority of 8/9 year olds don’t means your reasoning is relying on that a little. My 9 year old would get confused with the current one way system in our 4 level shopping centre and would likely get lost as we don’t go often so he doesn’t know where many shops are. He doesn’t have a phone so then what?

Puttingouthefirewithgasoline · 08/05/2021 14:41

No I wouldn't at all.

PresentingPercy · 08/05/2021 16:20

@Fixitup2
They borrow one! Honestly what world do you live in!

PresentingPercy · 08/05/2021 16:21

A 8 year old really should be able to work that out! Take them and show them. Explain things and start educating them to be independent.

minniemomo · 08/05/2021 16:21

I wouldn't the queues to get in are horrendous currently and not really fair on those actually needing to shop

apalledandshocked · 08/05/2021 16:29

@HavelockVetinari

No way on Earth. I recently watched a social experiment on YouTube - beforehand the parents were sure their DC wouldn't get into a stranger's car or go with them, but it was SO easy for the chap who ran the experiment to get them to go with him (with full prior knowledge and agreement of the parents). Fortunately he was a good guy making a point to parents that they can't rely on their kid's judgement, but it just shows how easy it can be for predators.
I saw that, although partly I wondered it it was because the children saw him talking to the mums before hand. Children sometimes have a different definition of "stranger" to what you would think and possibly the man talking to the mum moved him from "stranger" to "friend of mum". Not saying that takes away from the main point though.
AMillionMilesAway · 08/05/2021 16:56

Why would the child need a phone? An 8.5 year old is more than capable of being told "If you get lost, wait for me by x location, do not leave and I will come to you". Thats what my parents did to us in the 90s before mobiles.

AMillionMilesAway · 08/05/2021 16:58

@halcyondays

I wouldn’t assume they don’t have phones, plenty of nine year olds do. Normal where I am for people to start going to the local small shopping centre around nine. Nobody will get lost there. I wouldn’t let them loose in the Metrocentre or somewhere at that age.
This is pretty key, I think. My local shopping centre has 20 shops, nobody could get lost! Westfield Stratford or the Arndale centre are completely different to a small mall.
MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 08/05/2021 17:02

@NameChangedForThisFeb21

What Covid rules?!

Other than face masks, i am completely unaware of any other rules in place on shopping centres!

You’re completely unaware of social distancing? That you aren’t supposed to be within 2 metres of others? That lots of shops require you to sanitise hands on entry, not touch things or try things on that you aren’t buying and that you’re often expected to stand on markings to queue? Or wait to get in if a shop is at capacity?

Is it really that much of a bother to just supervise an 8 year old and her friend?

In wales , under 11s don't have to social distance. My son is 9 and in yr 4 and gets himself to and from school every day. I would allow this with a friend. But my son is a bruiser and looks like he can take care of himself.
Happycat1212 · 08/05/2021 17:08

In wales , under 11s don't have to social distance. My son is 9 and in yr 4 and gets himself to and from school every day. I would allow this with a friend. But my son is a bruiser and looks like he can take care of himself.

But shops have their own rules. So you think a child doesn’t have to queue outside the store if it’s busy inside and they can just walk right in or stick to the walking directions in a shopping centre (lots of shopping centres have put this into place) because “under 11s don’t need to social distance)

Fixitup2 · 08/05/2021 17:34

[quote PresentingPercy]@Fixitup2
They borrow one! Honestly what world do you live in![/quote]
A world where we don’t have spare mobiles 😂 I’ll send them knocking on the neighbours looking to borrow one

Legoninjago1 · 08/05/2021 17:37

@AMillionMilesAway

I'm going to go against everyone and say I think it's fine. But £1 isn't enough!
These were my thoughts exactly!