Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To allow 8/9 year olds to walk around a shopping centre alone (I’ll be in centre) for half hour?

224 replies

Egghead81 · 07/05/2021 18:17

My older child has an activity within a shopping centre

I was thinking of my daughter 8.5 and her friend 9 (needless to say telling her mother!) being given a pound each and allowed to go to smiths alone to by some treats and then have a wander in claire’s accessories etc. And then I meet them thirty mins later.

Very sensible girls. Thoughts?

OP posts:
MoiraNotRuby · 07/05/2021 19:16

Depends on the kids and the shopping centre. My small town one strip place would be fine. Brent Cross not so much. (Although I spent hours unsupervised in their wooden play area in the 80s)

What I'm truly shocked about is only giving them a pound though 🤔 they'll get fuck all with that!!!

picturesandpickles · 07/05/2021 19:17

I think in shopping centres you get older teens who might give them a hard time and if they get lost you'll just create drama and stress.

My view is twelve for this. They need enough sense to get themselves out of a tight spot before they get put into a situation that could see them in a tight spot.

I am not sure why young people need to be on their own in a shopping centre, what is the benefit?

BigSandyBalls2015 · 07/05/2021 19:17

Some of these responses! 12 was bad enough but 13-14 really!! 8/9 is too young but by secondary school age they are all getting buses/trains and meeting up in shopping centres/McDonald’s

SaltAndVinegarSandwiches · 07/05/2021 19:18

The risk of anything bad happening is almost zero. It's a crowded shopping centre with lots of people about and they're sensible. In 2 years they'll be on public transport alone going to school they need some independence before then.

Bibidy · 07/05/2021 19:19

Can you not leave the older one at the activity and take the younger ones round the centre?

SaltAndVinegarSandwiches · 07/05/2021 19:19

I do agree though no point just giving a quid, they need a fiver each at least.

AMillionMilesAway · 07/05/2021 19:20

I'm going to go against everyone and say I think it's fine.
But £1 isn't enough!

katy1213 · 07/05/2021 19:20

How sad that children are so mollycoddled these days. It wouldn't even occur to me to stop a 9 year old from mooching round a few shops.

katy1213 · 07/05/2021 19:21

But I doubt there's anything in WHSmith for £1 these days!

Ohnomoreno · 07/05/2021 19:23

Life seems so limited for kids nowadays. My dad used to sit in a coffee shop and we'd wander around Westfield (different country, not the London one) quite happily for ages and then come and find him. That was way back in 1985, when somehow there weren't any predators at all. Hmm @Bluebird76 sure seems like the paranoia is new, not sure the risk has actually changed at all.

Happycat1212 · 07/05/2021 19:23

Some of these responses! 12 was bad enough but 13-14 really!! 8/9 is too young but by secondary school age they are all getting buses/trains and meeting up in shopping centres/McDonald’s

Well my son tried to go in McDonald’s the other day age 9 with me standing outside and the security guard wouldn’t let him go in alone so works both ways!

coronabeer · 07/05/2021 19:24

I'm going to disagrre with most of the posters here and say I would allow it if I was satisfied that the children in question were sensible, the shopping centre wasn't too big and/or busy and they had a phone and also know where to find me. Heck, I did this with my younger dd about 5 years ago without issue and that was wandering around a small town. Where I do agree is that £1 each is not really enough - at least £2 each so they can actually buy something, I would have thought.

I can't help but wonder if the increasing number of children and teens with mental health difficulties is not in some way linked with the increasingly risk-averse approach of so many parents these days.

picturesandpickles · 07/05/2021 19:25

@katy1213

How sad that children are so mollycoddled these days. It wouldn't even occur to me to stop a 9 year old from mooching round a few shops.
Just as a counterpoint to this sort of view - I think children are better looked after these days.
Figgygal · 07/05/2021 19:25

No chance
Far too young

Bibidy · 07/05/2021 19:27

@katy1213

How sad that children are so mollycoddled these days. It wouldn't even occur to me to stop a 9 year old from mooching round a few shops.
Hmm I dunno. I'm usually of the opinion that the more independence the better, but I think 8/9 is a little on the young side, in terms of potential to get lost or being approached/grabbed by strangers.
Startingagainperson · 07/05/2021 19:28

Nope.

They are just too young to be able to navigate someone pestering them, or older kids bullying them, or if one goes off and gets a bit panicked.

RightOnTheEdge · 07/05/2021 19:29

Buy some treats in WH Smiths with a pound? 🤣 🤣

Toomanymuslins · 07/05/2021 19:30

I think so too pictures

KingdomScrolls · 07/05/2021 19:30

I grew up within striking distance of a big shopping centre, even in the early nineties I wasn't allowed to go on my own with a friend until I was at secondary and we'd get dropped off and picked up and my parents let me go to nightclubs at sixteen so they weren't strict. Since then shopping centres have become prime ground for group/youth gang activity, and I wouldn't want a child that young caught up in the crossfire of that. It's not just Brent cross where there's been a teen stabbing in a shopping centre in the last year or so

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 07/05/2021 19:30

LOL at pound each. Unless you send them to a Poundland!

cookiecreampie · 07/05/2021 19:30

If they were a couple of years older it would be ok. But they're too young. And a pound isn't enough to buy anything.

Grandbisou · 07/05/2021 19:31

I don’t understand how people let 9 year olds out alone. It’s not about the kids not being responsible but it’s having that sense when you’re in danger or there’s a weird person trying to take you somewhere. I don’t think a 9 year old is developed enough to understand how to deal with these scenarios. Why take the risk? They are too precious and you’d never forgive yourself. When I read about the Sarah p, and poor James b, my heart hurts imagining their mums wishing time back to change things.
12 years and older you have at least developed a bit more to handle yourself. There’s a thread on here about all the experiences of women in their childhood and early teens with predatory advances from men. Also now happening to their daughters, shockingly some as young as 9. I just wouldn’t take the risk.
My mum always walked me to school, up til I was 15 ( we actually loved chatting) I am a very independent person - travel solo across the world etc. I’m glad she didn’t leave me to learn about the world too early and there was plenty of time for me to learn how to be a responsible independent adult

NuffSaidSam · 07/05/2021 19:31

A lot of talk of 'these days' and how we're so overprotective (and I do agree with that generally), but I wouldn't have been allowed to wander round a shopping centre at 8 years old. And I don't remember ever seeing loads of unaccompanied 8 year olds in shopping centres either! I don't think it's even necessarily a safety issue just that shopping centres aren't places for little kids to play/hang out. That's what the park is for!

JeanClaudeVanDammit · 07/05/2021 19:34

I wouldn’t allow this for 8/9 year olds but I’m surprised at some of the 13/14 answers. At secondary school age I’d expect them to be getting themselves to and from school which might include buses and trains and sitting in McDonalds passing through a city centre.

OhShitShit · 07/05/2021 19:34

When I were a young gal back in ye olde times at the turn of the millennium, I believe we were about 11 when we were allowed to go into town/ around the shops alone- basically when we started secondary school.

That feels about right to me, but maybe times have changed and they’ve got to leave home now before they can pop into river island to try on the ripped jeans or have a white musk spritz in the body shop?