To allow 8/9 year olds to walk around a shopping centre alone (I’ll be in centre) for half hour?

[Egghead81]

My older child has an activity within a shopping centre

I was thinking of my daughter 8.5 and her friend 9 (needless to say telling her mother!) being given a pound each and allowed to go to smiths alone to by some treats and then have a wander in claire’s accessories etc. And then I meet them thirty mins later.

Very sensible girls. Thoughts?

I totally agree 11 (year 6/7) is the golden age for this.

13/14 is madness.

My second time ever out in the town centre without adults in McDonalds in the 90s, first year of high school, I was sexually assaulted by a total stranger. Broad daylight. Busy place. Obviously a creep looking for a young girl to molest and spotted an opportune moment. I was surrounded by people but he overpowered me, stopped me from shouting and disappeared straight back into the crowd after. That was bad enough to deal with at 11/12. Would have been worse at 8.

And to answer a pp, my mental health would have been infinitely better had my parents taken greater steps to safeguard me in general rather than thinking, the older you get the less kids need you and past 10/11 they don’t really need much supervision at all.

God no wayyyyy

Where I used to live, in a lower/middle/upper school area, kids used to walk to school by themselves, including crossing a busy A road in year 5.

Half an hour in a couple of shops with you near by should be fine. My only criticism is that you wouldn’t get much for £1.

@SaltAndVinegarSandwiches

The risk of anything bad happening is almost zero. It's a crowded shopping centre with lots of people about and they're sensible. In 2 years they'll be on public transport alone going to school they need some independence before then.

I wouldn’t agree to be honest. It’s not that uncommon to have an uncomfortable experience, be picked on by older kids, have something stolen. When someone is an older teenager they’ve had some years and experience behind them, at age 8 young you don’t.

You don’t ‘learn’ by being thrown in the deep end. You ‘learn’ by being allowed time to mature and by being taught how by an adult.

A (British) friend in Japan has her 6yo just starting school and she is expected to walk there by herself - in a big city! Friend would prefer to walk her in, but it was made clear by school that this would not be acceptable, as independence is an important skill for children to develop! Just an anecdote to illustrate that the age at which children are deemed to become 'sensible' is extremely culturally variable. Personally I'm aghast at a 6yo walking alone in a big city, but if I was Japanese it would be par for the course. I'm not British though, and so I'm equally aghast at the idea of waiting until 14 to allow kids in a shopping centre alone!

@NameChangedForThisFeb21

My second time ever out in the town centre without adults in McDonalds in the 90s, first year of high school, I was sexually assaulted by a total stranger. Broad daylight. Busy place. Obviously a creep looking for a young girl to molest and spotted an opportune moment. I was surrounded by people but he overpowered me, stopped me from shouting and disappeared straight back into the crowd after. That was bad enough to deal with at 11/12. Would have been worse at 8.

And to answer a pp, my mental health would have been infinitely better had my parents taken greater steps to safeguard me in general rather than thinking, the older you get the less kids need you and past 10/11 they don’t really need much supervision at all.

Agreed. Kids are generally safer now because of more care by their parents.

I was let out by myself at age 6 and upwards. I’ve been:

• molested by a paedophile (luckily ran away before it got very bad)
• bullied badly by older kids
• injuries far from home that I”ve had to cope with on my own
• taught to shop lift by older kids ‘for fun’

Nothing in all of that taught me to be more independent.

I wouldn't let them enter the shopping centre alone. I'd go to the shopping centre with them and maybe let them go to a couple of shops on their own whilst I go to other shops across the way. That way I can have a better handle on a specific area they are expected to be and a shorter time frame of knowing if somethings gone awry. Does your shopping centre have security guards? How big of a shopping centre are we talking.

@Bluebird76 the rate of street crime in Japan is incredibly low - there is a huge cultural difference. In Tokyo you can walk anywhere without fear of any crime at almost any age.

@Rejoiningperson (I'm one of those too!) Crime is pretty low in most of the UK too. Your average provincial shopping centre is hardly a hotbed of crime. Unusual events hit the news, but really, two 8yos are vanishingly unlikely to come to any serious harm during a 30 minute shop. Re Japan, worrying about crime more than traffic is a skewed understanding of the relative risk. Traffic is massively more a danger to unaccompanied kids than crime.

More generally, I worry as much about 'lightening strikes' - abduction etc - as your average paranoid parent, but my rational brain tells me this is madness - you'd never let your child out of your sight ever. Independence is scary for parents whenever it happens, but not an optional extra. I don't think every 8yo necessarily is ready for this kind of escapade, but it's not the bonkers risk some on here are making out.

Never

no. I would wait somewhere outside and let them go into shops by themselves

Depends how big and busy the shopping centre is but if its their first taste of freedom I would start with just letting them go in the shop alone while you wait in sight of the door. You have to start small with building up independence, so they have the chance to make mistakes and learn from them without real danger.

Too young.

Is this the 70s? The £1 for WHSmiths and the 8 and 9 year old wandering about in a shopping mall alone.

(Definitely not on my watch)

Are you being serious?

@Egghead81

I should have said

Unaware of rules other than face masks being implemented

One way system, queuing to get in shops, social distancing at the checkout, hand gel before you go in each shop, not touching things unless you are going to buy them. I went to a shopping centre today and there were all these rules in addition to masks

And no, I won’t leave children of that age alone in a shopping centre with or without Covid rules

Gosh it is very sad... A PP says maybe 13/14. I watched lots of young children (7+) walking and cycling to school today and I thought how great it would be if the world were safer for them ie other people as they are well able to make their way round in lots of situations and they're not given the opportunity.

I was 10 when allowed to do this in my very small town, 11 when allowed to go on the bus to the big town next door and 13 when allowed on the train to an even bigger town and the nearest city. 8/9 is far too young. At least when they’re old enough to have a phone.

Children can walk home from year 4 here to add

I wouldn't do this. My dd is year 4 too and is just too young. It's nothing to do with being stabbed or abducted, or even covid, but she just has no clue. She'd get lost, or lose track of the time (she wouldn't even know the time), or lose her friend or mess around on the escalator, and almost certainly leave her hoodie somewhere.

It depends, our local shopping centre is small and a bit of a community hub. It contains a skating rink so dc 8 and above are frequently there with friends. Dd and all her friends were allowed to explore from that age while mums had a coffee in Costa etc. Behaviour expectations were clear. The decision is impossible to make without knowing the area and the dc. They'll need a hell of a lot more than 1 pound to purchase anything in Claire's though. If it was benefitting me to have them entertained I'd probably hand over a tenner 😆

Wouldn't be comfortable doing this with my 9 year old.
I think 12, possibly 11.

I’m so glad my DDs were sensible, independent and trustworthy. No wonder the word “snowflake“ is used when describing young people. Of course 30 mins doing this is ok. My DD1 was allowed to shop in a Welsh town when she was 10 on a school trip. Never been there before. There were roads with traffic. No issues at all. Got back to the teachers just fine. No one got lost. Both of my DDs went to South Africa with another DC at 13. Flights on their own. Boarding school for 3 months. No parents tagging along. Other parents won’t let dc go to a shopping centre at 13?! How awful for confidence and self esteem.