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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To allow 8/9 year olds to walk around a shopping centre alone (I’ll be in centre) for half hour?

224 replies

Egghead81 · 07/05/2021 18:17

My older child has an activity within a shopping centre

I was thinking of my daughter 8.5 and her friend 9 (needless to say telling her mother!) being given a pound each and allowed to go to smiths alone to by some treats and then have a wander in claire’s accessories etc. And then I meet them thirty mins later.

Very sensible girls. Thoughts?

OP posts:
alexdgr8 · 07/05/2021 18:37

how can you be unaware of covid rules ?
i bet your children are aware !

NuffSaidSam · 07/05/2021 18:39

I wouldn't do this and I'm pretty lax (I've been accused on here of being highly negligent in the past 😂).

I would give them the spending money and let them go into the shop alone, but I would stand/sit in view of the door. I would take them for a hot chocolate/ice cream/burger and if they wanted let them sit on a different table so they feel grown up, but I would want eyes on them at all times.

Original poster
Egghead81 · 07/05/2021 18:39

I should have said

Unaware of rules other than face masks being implemented Grin

OP posts:
MrsWooster · 07/05/2021 18:42

I’d sit on a bench as a ‘base’ and punt them off into Claire’s etc, coming back between shops to touch base. They’d have a sense of being terribly grown up and adventurous without actually being out of sight...

scrivette · 07/05/2021 18:43

I wouldn't be happy to allow this and I let my 9 year old walk home from school (5 minute walk).

I think they are too young, may get distracted or lost or worried, especially if someone approaches them to ask if they on their own (with good or bad intentions).

Crosstrainer · 07/05/2021 18:44

I let my 9 year old do this with her 12 year old sister - but I think one being older makes a big difference. I wouldn’t let her go with a 9 year old friend.

Gullible2021 · 07/05/2021 18:44

If I saw two little children wandering round a shopping centre unaccompanied or I was staff and working in a shop where there was no sign of these girls’ parents, I’d report it as i’d be concerned for their safety and I’d quietly be wondering what kind of parent would do that. It’s very neglectful. Why would you?

HavelockVetinari · 07/05/2021 18:46

No way on Earth. I recently watched a social experiment on YouTube - beforehand the parents were sure their DC wouldn't get into a stranger's car or go with them, but it was SO easy for the chap who ran the experiment to get them to go with him (with full prior knowledge and agreement of the parents). Fortunately he was a good guy making a point to parents that they can't rely on their kid's judgement, but it just shows how easy it can be for predators.

PresentingPercy · 07/05/2021 18:48

I did let mine go off at 9. Let them know where you are, how to find you and Make sure they have a phone. Make sure they know the meeting place. They need to learn how to do things. It’s a shopping centre, not the M1! Would they not be capable of walking to school? Sad that people feel children are stupid and not responsible.

TooMuchAndNotEnough · 07/05/2021 18:57

I would allow it. The OP says the children are sensible.

littlepattilou · 07/05/2021 19:04

@Egghead81

No. They're too young. Maybe 13-14, maybe ......... but not 8-9.

littlepattilou · 07/05/2021 19:05

@TooMuchAndNotEnough

I would allow it. The OP says the children are sensible.
My DD was 'sensible' when she was 4. I still would not have allowed her out of my sight, let alone off on her own in a shopping centre for half an hour.
Mollylikestodance · 07/05/2021 19:06

Too young by a few years I would say.... sorry OP x

fallingfastly · 07/05/2021 19:08

Oh wow, I'm surprised that the responses are so definitive.

My DC aren't old enough yet, but I would have said that it depends very much on the children. If they're sensible kids who you trust, this would be fine. I was allowed to the corner shop and park and things like that at this age and I'm not convinced a shopping centre is much different (I would have thought it would be better in many ways as there are plenty of people around).

I think it's important for kids to have time away from their parents to build independence. It seems like this is being steadily eroded.

Lougle · 07/05/2021 19:09

At 11 I would let them go around the shopping centre but discreetly check on them (this works really well - just tag a few shops behind them in distance). At 12/13 I'd allow them to go if they were in a small group. I might offer to be having a cuppa outside a cafe so they knew where to find me.

8 or 9 would be absolutely too young, imo.

Toomanymuslins · 07/05/2021 19:10

You can have time away from parents without being left unsupervised in a shopping mall.

BogRollBOGOF · 07/05/2021 19:10

Depending on the centre and if it's relatively quiet and a small area, for a short time, and they know where to find you, it's fine to begin developing the early tastes of a bit of freedom. Not the same as being given all day and free run of The Metro Centre/ The Trafford Cente/ Meadowhall.

I'm presuming that the abduction alluded to above was that of a certain 2yo who'd slipped his mother's hand... quite different to a pair of sensible 8-9 yos. Go through the ground rules with them.

Floralnomad · 07/05/2021 19:11

Absolutely no way , and I’m very laid back .

00100001 · 07/05/2021 19:11

The most I'd let them do is go into Claire's whilst I stayed outside at the door or waited in a bench where the entrance was in plain sight.

Ilovemaisie · 07/05/2021 19:12

They won't get much from WHSmith or Claires with a pound each Grin
I probably wouldn't let them go off alone at that age - unless maybe they have been going to that mall weekly from babyhood and know it like the back of their hands. The fact that you think a pound will be enough for Claire's or Smith's makes me think you don't go there often !!

emilyfrost · 07/05/2021 19:13

Absolutely not, far too young.

Also you’re very naive if you think they can get anything for a £1 in smiths Hmm

Thirtyrock39 · 07/05/2021 19:15

I think the abduction alluded to is Adam Walsh - this is a horrible case but it is a one off which has been seen as the point in which parents suddenly became very stranger danger obsessed. The 'you're wrong about' had a fascinating episode on the reality vs risks.
However due to the fact so few kids of this age are unsupervised it probably is a bit young and they could be viewed as vulnerable .

YawnyOwl · 07/05/2021 19:15

Sure, why not?

DustyMaiden · 07/05/2021 19:16

You can probably buy a 50p coin for a £1 in Smiths.

gottakeeponmovin · 07/05/2021 19:16

Absolutely not