to be surprised at how many Mumsnetters are fine with pornography?

[Elizabetth]

Particularly as porn has become so much more mainstream in the past few years, I'd have thought that people would be concerned about premature sexualisation of children. Also I'm surprised that so many women are fine with it given that the humiliation and degradation of women is the central theme of pornography. You only have to look at the titles to realise that.

Elizabeth said that porn was the same as prostitution because they have sex for money. I am a SAHM so I was wondering if she would consider me a prostitute. What about when I tell dh I'll make it worth his while if he buys me what I want...would that make me a prostitute? I also don't have a problem with prostitution but that's another thread really.

from a personal perspective i like porn. Not just soft porn either. But what bothers me about it, is when i watch it (we have a couple of old videos we drag out when we feel the urge) i cannot be sure if the women are doing it out of well informed choice and earning a wage they are happy with, or are they feeding a drug habbit, feeding their children on a pittance, or are they being co-erced or forced? THAT makes me uncomfortable enough not to buy any dodgy dvd's offered to DP on the building site. As for ligitimate porn from the sex shop, its too expensive, i'll stick my my rabbit and my imagination.

article with porn actress

policywonk, I doubt we will ever find 100% conclusive studies.

That's why this debate is so fascinating
because we are forced to talk about morality.

It has long become terribly unfashionable to talk about morality
because of the implication that it is always about enforcing
your morality on others.
Which is a fair point!

But: have we reached a point where morality should make a comeback?

If we can say as a society that we don't want anyone playing
a video game which rewards you for killing opponents in the most
gruesome fashion possible,
then surely we can also say that we don't want certain types
of pornography to be produced and sold?

NB - Elizabetth equated porn with prostitution.
If you feel either of these things is linked to sahm, then isn't that your own issue to work out?

blimey VVVQ, was that Sarah Brightman in that link?

extreme/real violence in porn is almost as worrying as those awful video games like Rockstar. I think there is a difference between obvious make believe domination scenarios in porn [these are the only ones I've seen] and real, painful and humiliating violence towards women in porn [i haven't seen any of these thankfully] However no way of legally differentiating i suppose.

one of the most prolific porn stars

i meant the man being whipped link not the interview VVVQ...

JV - my point is that getting paid or getting items of monetary value from sex does not equate it with prostitution. Perhaps you should read my posts properly.

"extreme/real violence in porn is almost as worrying as those awful video games like Rockstar. I think there is a difference between obvious make believe domination scenarios in porn [these are the only ones I've seen] and real, painful and humiliating violence towards women in porn [i haven't seen any of these thankfully] However no way of legally differentiating i suppose"

Surely the way of legally differentiating it is whether or not it was consentual.

I have read your post 'properly'.
If you think being a sahm means recieving money or material goods in return for sex then, again, that is your issue.

JV - It's not unreasonable to think married people have sex and for a SAHM like myself, dh pays the bills.

Oh and my issue is with Elizabetth's mass generalisations and refusal to consider lines drawn anywhere but where she wants them.

But it is unreasonable to view those things as some kind of transaction.

JV - what about when I gave dh sex so he'd buy me a new nappy for my dd...that could very easily be considered a 'transaction'...does it make me a prostitute?

Well, I'm thinking this isn't really the thread but I would say that makes your DH an absolute wanker.

I think you need to get your DH to stop controlling the cash in your household. It belongs to both of you because the work both of you do contributes to the family (whether it's paid or unpaid). There's a long thread about something similar in Relationships.

Seconded on the wanker opinion, JeremyVile.

I would also say it makes you someone who has been coerced and manipulsted and blackmailed for a males sexual gratification....
Which sort of brings us full circle.

Seriously though norma, that kind of situation doesnt sound like a good place to be tbh.

Norma - that sounds a pretty bad situation for you.

Excuse me Elizabetth but as it happens I control what our money is spent on. I never said he has control of it, just that it is his money that pays the bills.

Well either that JV, or that norma feels that the only way she can gain some sort of power is to bargain and that this is her strongest bargaining tool. Doesnt indicate much respect for her DH......

IMVHO. Sorry norma.

Yes daddyJ, I agree with you.

And it is interesting to be forced to outline your moral position - not something that we are called upon to do often these days.

I control the money. Dh said he didn't think I should waste more on nappies, so I said what if I have sex with you (which I wanted to anyway)...it was a bit of a joke between us tbh...but it does go on in some marriages on a much bigger scale.