To think this is rude and selfish?

[SylHellais]

We went to a visitor attraction today with a cafe/restaurant on site. All the six tables (large round picnic type tables which would seat 6) were full, but three of them were occupied by one person at each table who had no drink or food but were just sitting there reading or looking at phones. There were other tables nearby not served by the cafe where people could sit.

Personally, I think the staff should have moved the non-eating/drinking people on, but they were clearly unwilling to, even when we pointed out that it was lunchtime and there were people occupying the tables who were not eating or drinking. We weren’t rude or confrontational about this, before anyone starts, it was just a polite comment.

All three of them saw us and other people trying to find somewhere to sit but chose to ignore us. The cafe were actually brilliant and did takeaways for us all so it was fine, but it just irritated me that these three men were determined to occupy tables when they didn’t need to.

Sure they should have sat elsewhere but let the small stuff go.

I thought AIBU was all about not letting the small stuff go. 🤣

YANBU and those making excuses likely do the same thing in cafes. 🌸

@Franklyfrost

Maybe one of them was waiting for someone, one of them was oblivious to lunch time (maybe in metal or physical pain) and one of them was doing it just to annoy you. Sure they should have sat elsewhere but let the small stuff go.

so many excuses .....

@RedAzalea

why do you think the staff should confront them?

Because the cafe will lose custom if customers can't sit down to eat/ drink. "Speak to" perhaps rather than "confront".

@whoopsnomore well clearly not as cafe staff would have asked if it had been a problem

@RedAzalea

why do you think the staff should confront them?

Errr surely that's blindingly obvious? If I went into a cafe and took up a table without buying anything I'd be asked to leave. It's not a public library. It's even more true now where you sometimes even have to book tables in cafes they're in such high demand.

Why did you not just sit down at the table? It's outdoor and a rule of 6.

I do think they were being rude but I think it's far worse to plonk yourself down at someone else's table.
Saying "excuse me are these seats free?" Is fine. But I'd be quite disgusted actually if someone just came and sat with DH and I. You can't sit two groups of people at one table without it being uncomfortable and loud.

[quote RedAzalea]@whoopsnomore well clearly not as cafe staff would have asked if it had been a problem[/quote]
Maybe they were reluctant because they've had awkward or agressive responses from entitled customers before... idk I wasn't there - my answer was to your question "why should they ..?"

@StoneofDestiny

Why did you not just sit down at the table? It's outdoor and a rule of 6.

Isn't the rule of 6 for people you know?

You should have just sat there with your food! I would have. Guaranteed they would have left the table. Win win.

You had seats elsewhere, it all worked out

Best comment in years. I laughed out loud.

Exactly on point. 👍😂

@SaturdayRocks

I would have just sat down at the opposite end of the table, with a breezy ‘you don’t mind, do you’ (a statement, not a question).

The queues would be as much as, if not more of a COVID risk.

My DH and I have had people do this to us on tiny (max 3 person) tables outside a cafe. They didn't even ask if it was ok before sitting down! And then started smoking!!! So I would definitely say sitting down on the other side of a large outside table is ok. But understand why the OP was wary of doing this. COVID makes everything so much more complicated!

There are times when just sitting down is not appropriate.

But when:

1. one person is sitting at a
2. 6-seater table
3. in a busy café and
4. they’re not eating...

...as is the case in the OP - it’s OK.

It must impact their trade as if I could not see a table where I could sit with my family I wouldn't bother going in. So it's in their interest to ask people to move who haven't purchased food or nip in the bud and put signs up saying seating reserved for diners.

YANBU - Fairly typical selfish entitled anti - social blokes who should have been moved on by the cafe staff

YANBU - I would have (and have before) felt obliged to give up a table if I didn’t particularly need it and there was a family with hot food clearly struggling to find somewhere to sit. If I was in my own world and genuinely hadn’t noticed and nobody had said anything to me then can’t really help that. But from what you said it sounds like they did notice and still didn’t budge! Urgh. Annoying.

Entitled?? I run a restaurant with outside seating, so these people were losing them money. I would have sat with them. The cafe should have asked them if they were eating or not and if not move them on.

Agree they "should" have realised, not been clueless/ entitled etc. And yes, the cafe staff "should" have asked them to move. But equally, you could have simply SAID something to any of the 3 men. I don't understand why you didn't do this.

I would simply have asked if they minded if we shared their table. Or asked one of the staff to ask them.

@YankeeinKingArthursCourt

Agree they "should" have realised, not been clueless/ entitled etc. And yes, the cafe staff "should" have asked them to move. But equally, you could have simply SAID something to any of the 3 men. I don't understand why you didn't do this.

I wouldn't approach any men and ask them if they were finished.

As I said upthread, I asked and got my money back, as nobody would ask randoms not eating or drinking to leave the table.

OP paid for food, its not her job to move previously finished customers to move on.