To think this is rude and selfish?

[SylHellais]

We went to a visitor attraction today with a cafe/restaurant on site. All the six tables (large round picnic type tables which would seat 6) were full, but three of them were occupied by one person at each table who had no drink or food but were just sitting there reading or looking at phones. There were other tables nearby not served by the cafe where people could sit.

Personally, I think the staff should have moved the non-eating/drinking people on, but they were clearly unwilling to, even when we pointed out that it was lunchtime and there were people occupying the tables who were not eating or drinking. We weren’t rude or confrontational about this, before anyone starts, it was just a polite comment.

All three of them saw us and other people trying to find somewhere to sit but chose to ignore us. The cafe were actually brilliant and did takeaways for us all so it was fine, but it just irritated me that these three men were determined to occupy tables when they didn’t need to.

I would have just sat down at the opposite end of the table, with a breezy ‘you don’t mind, do you’ (a statement, not a question).

The queues would be as much as, if not more of a COVID risk.

It is a bit odd that the cafe were happy for non customers to take tables away from their paying customers.

I used to work in a gastro pub and our beer garden (as it was aspirationallly called ) would often end up with random people hanging around and smoking. We'd ignore them in bad weather, but if it was nice enough for paying customers to want to sit outside I would always ask them to either buy a drink or move along. I thought that was standard.

Leave a comment on trip adv8soor.
Agree staff should intervene instead of expecting paying customers to police

@PaulaTrilloe

Leave a comment on trip adv8soor. Agree staff should intervene instead of expecting paying customers to police

very true

@Astronaut8

You got a table not far away by the sounds of it so I don’t see the problem. Just because they weren’t the cafe ones and they didn’t move them on.

Just what I thought 👍🏻

@memberofthewedding

Ive had this happen a couple of time in the past and have just simply plonked myself uninvited at whatever table had a space. People have done this to me.

My view is that If I paid to eat in a cafe/restaurant and there is an empty space I dont have to ask anyones permission to sit in it. Ive also pointed out to people who have finished their meal and are just sitting that there are others waiting for a space to sit down. If they object because of the covid rules they are at liberty to depart. Usually you will find that if there are two or more of you and you sit at a table occupied by a single (not eating or drinking) that they will leave pretty quickly. It has nothing to do with entitlement. The tables are a facility provided for the people consuming refreshments.

I manage a restaurant. If Customer A complained to me that Customer B had sat down at their table and they weren’t happy about it, I would ask Customer B to move. If they refused, I would ask them to leave.

It wouldn’t matter whether Customer A had finished their food an hour or so ago; if they’re still there it’s still their table and if they don’t want to share it that’s up to them. I wouldn’t be making them leave.

Obviously this only applies if A have previously been customers, whereas in the case of the OP it sounds like they weren’t and were just taking up space, in which case I would ask them to leave.

To the people saying that they would just sit at the table anyway - I personally think this is a bit rude too!

On our honeymoon my DH and I went to eat at a cafe for lunch. It was the only one on the small island and was packed for outdoor seating. Luckily a table came free just as we arrived.

The table was the size of a 2-seater but had 4 seats at it (I guess to maximise customer numbers). I sat down whilst DH went inside to order and this older couple came up to me and asked to sit at my table with me as all the others were full. I apologised and refused them, the table was small and I was on my honeymoon. My husband was just ordering drinks. The woman then got incredibly angry and stormed off!

I just found it rude and intimidating.

I think the men were rude and selfish. Pre-covid, it's a technique many people used to adopt on busy commuter trains. They put a bag next to them to discourage anyone else from sitting down and only moved it if someone actually asked them if they could sit down.

I am surprised that the cafe staff didn't want to ask them if they had finished. You still bought something and sat elsewhere but other people might have just decided to go elsewhere or just go home.

@HopeWish actually I think you were selfish.
The only café and it was packed.
It was an hour, probably at most , that you would have to share.

@Melitza i disagree, i think HopeWish was right to say no. I'm happy sharing a table at places like Wagamama and Busaba as they're meant to be communal.

A small table is not communal.

If they were attached to the cafe they should of had a notice on and been sort of roped off.
They weren't so they where just bench which they were totally entitled to sit on like everyone else .
People can't share at the moment so of course they would be sat on there own.
All they needed to do was laminate a sheet of a4 saying for cafe use when consuming food and drink and tape it to table .
You can't decide who wants to sit down just because you want to.

i think hopewish was wrong too, other people wanted to sit down

some staff would be nervous at asking someone to move because of the response they might get i;e aggressive orjust can't be bothered to engage. There are a lot of mners who do not feel comfortable with confrontation within their own families let alone complete strangers.

If the men had already purchased and finished eating/drinking items from the cafe they were entitled to remain in their seats until they wanted to leave.

There was nothing to stop the OP asking the 3 men if any the seats were free.

* I agree with you as well. You weren't being entitled at all. I doubt that these people would have been allowed inside a cafe to sit at a table and not order anything.*

^I agree

YANBU but this being Mumsnet, they'll all be diagnosed with heaven knows what and defended for their selfish piggery here .

Those men probably needed all that space for their massive egos.

You need the man at the Louvre cafe. You buy your food then go to sit down. If anyone tried to sit down without a tray of food bought from him the huge man behind the counter shouted at you in French - No tray no table. It was great to see someone assertively in charge for once and no table bagging allowed either. Watching attempted table bagging or non customers sitting at tables being thwarted made for good entertainment!

We would have sat down at one of the tables and if they don't like it what are they going to do about it?

Sweet FA

They might have recently finished eating and drinking and had their plates etc cleared away. They are entitled to stay there until they want to leave as PP said.

Yes it's a little discourteous of them not to notice/ care that other people are looking for tables but it sounds like there were more tables not that far away.

I couldn't get worked up about it tbh.

@warmandtoasty2day

some staff would be nervous at asking someone to move because of the response they might get i;e aggressive orjust can't be bothered to engage. There are a lot of mners who do not feel comfortable with confrontation within their own families let alone complete strangers.

It's hardly 'confrontation' to ask to use a table for its intended purpose.

The OP had food and needed a table to eat it at. She should have put her food on one of the tables and that should have prompted the man to leave and offer a sheepish apology for failing to acknowledge that he'd overstepped cafe table etiquette by not leaving when other people had a greater need than him for the table.

YANBU

This is exactly why so many places have those notices up about not providing seating for anyone who hasn't bought food/drink there.

@SeaTurtles92

You don't know why they were sat there. Stop acting so entitled.

@SeaTurtles92 You think expecting to eat food you have bought at a cafe at a table in that cafe is 'entitled'?

What you you usually do? Sit on a bed of nails nibbling a crust of bread and wearing a hair shirt? Don't be ridiculous.

I would have just gone over as a group with our food and asked if they were waiting for someone. Most people would then realise it was time to move, if they were not waiting for their food/others to join them. I agree though, it is selfish.

Yes @WaltzingBetty that's exactly what I do.
How did you guess? .