To think this is rude and selfish?

[SylHellais]

We went to a visitor attraction today with a cafe/restaurant on site. All the six tables (large round picnic type tables which would seat 6) were full, but three of them were occupied by one person at each table who had no drink or food but were just sitting there reading or looking at phones. There were other tables nearby not served by the cafe where people could sit.

Personally, I think the staff should have moved the non-eating/drinking people on, but they were clearly unwilling to, even when we pointed out that it was lunchtime and there were people occupying the tables who were not eating or drinking. We weren’t rude or confrontational about this, before anyone starts, it was just a polite comment.

All three of them saw us and other people trying to find somewhere to sit but chose to ignore us. The cafe were actually brilliant and did takeaways for us all so it was fine, but it just irritated me that these three men were determined to occupy tables when they didn’t need to.

[lemonsyellow]

@HopeWish
I think you were very rude. If you sit at a table for more than one or two, you have to expect to share with strangers if it’s busy. I can’t believe you said no to someone who asked to sit down.

Here, I think the cafe staff should have asked the men to move. Covid restrictions mean we can’t share tables now, I think.

[Eddielzzard]

Reminds me of Fleabag where that guy comes to her cafe and uses her electricity for charging all his phones and laptops but won't even buy a coffee. Just has a glass of water and sits there all day.

[MaudesMum]

One of my favourite cafes has a very nice outdoor space and - since they're not allowed to use their indoor area - they only allow people to stay at an outdoor table for 45 minutes. They're very nice about it but they will firmly move people on after that. Your cafe staff should have been trained to do something similar.

[MangosteenSoda]

This thread is properly Mumsnet weird.

OP being told off for thinking non-customers shouldn’t be hogging cafe seating and another pp being criticised for not wanting to share what sounds like a 2-person bistro table with a couple of strangers.

Those 2 people tables are barely big enough for two people if they are eating. Even if only drinking, it would be difficult to hold two private conversations.

[Orangebug]

YANBU

[roguetomato]

I think it's rude to sit at the table at cafe without eating or drinking, when others are waiting. But those are selfish rude people who doesn't care for others anyway, so I wouldn't confront them.

[emilyfrost]

@HopeWish was not rude or selfish. The other couple were exceptionally rude for asking to sit at their incredibly tiny table.

[Melitza]

@mainsfed if there had been other cafes on the island then not so rude.
But @HopeWish knew there was nowhere else for these people to go.
Very selfish imo.

Dd and I once asked a couple eating a meal in an outside marquee at a concert if we could sit and have our drinks at their table as nowhere else to go.
They were so gracious and chatted happily to us although we we were all squeezed on a small table.
It’s called being considerate.

[DietrichandDiMaggio]

It wouldn’t matter whether Customer A had finished their food an hour or so ago; if they’re still there it’s still their table and if they don’t want to share it that’s up to them. I wouldn’t be making them leave.

So, you are happy for someone to spend a fiver and then just sit at a table for a couple of hours, potentially losing you paying customers because there is nowhere to sit?

[DietrichandDiMaggio]

@SeaTurtles92

You don't know why they were sat there.
Stop acting so entitled.

There is only one reason to be sitting at a table in a cafe/restaurant -you are eating/drinking something bought there.

[RampantIvy]

@SeaTurtles92

You don't know why they were sat there.
Stop acting so entitled.

This is a ridiculous comment. There were other seats available, so if their legs were tired they could have sat elsewhere instead of sitting at tables specifically for use by customers at the cafe.

[Busybee5000]

I think it’s really unreasonable and whether they had x,y,z or not, you had still bought food and needed somewhere to sit and eat it, preferably the table belonging to the place you bought the food! They wouldn’t wander into an indoor restaurant and sit down with no food so why is it ok if they do it outside. Especially if you have children or older relatives with you, all trailing round to find somewhere to sit is not fun at all.

[MoreAloneTime]

Hidden disabilities exist but I doubt they account for many of the cases like this. Those men were most likely just rude and entitled or couldn't be arsed to read the room.

[WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll]

It wouldn’t matter whether Customer A had finished their food an hour or so ago; if they’re still there it’s still their table and if they don’t want to share it that’s up to them. I wouldn’t be making them leave.

If the men had already purchased and finished eating/drinking items from the cafe they were entitled to remain in their seats until they wanted to leave.

They might have recently finished eating and drinking and had their plates etc cleared away. They are entitled to stay there until they want to leave as PP said.

This really surprises me. Of course, no genuine customer should be rushed and have a stopwatch set for them, but surely the idea of ‘being a customer’ is that you’re using their service – it’s not an honour that you can claim in perpetuity. Buying a cup of tea at breakfast time doesn’t entitle you to occupy a table until closing time. By that reckoning, you could say that they might have bought food or a drink there at some stage in the past, so therefore they have the right to come and occupy a table as long/often as they want!

The table isn’t being awarded as a mark of respect to them – it’s just because it’s needed for them to practically consume their purchase. Once they’ve had a reasonable time to consume it plus a short time to ‘gather themselves’, if there are new customers with food and drink waiting for one, it’s time to go.

You wouldn’t do it elsewhere. You wouldn’t use a fitting room to try on an outfit, but then get your fishing chair and your thermos out and occupy it for the rest of the day like a beach hut whilst there are others waiting to try things on. You can’t go on a rollercoaster at a funfair and then just stay seated in the car for another half hour after your ride for a rest and a chat, as the queue of new riders builds up.

[BarbaraofSeville]

In these current times, the outside tables are the restaurant, so it is spectacularly entitled, rude and selfish to occupy the tables when you're not actually eating or drinking, especially as most people will be less willing to share underoccupied tables to allow more people to sit and eat.

[Geamhradh]

@HopeWish

To the people saying that they would just sit at the table anyway - I personally think this is a bit rude too!

On our honeymoon my DH and I went to eat at a cafe for lunch. It was the only one on the small island and was packed for outdoor seating. Luckily a table came free just as we arrived.

The table was the size of a 2-seater but had 4 seats at it (I guess to maximise customer numbers). I sat down whilst DH went inside to order and this older couple came up to me and asked to sit at my table with me as all the others were full. I apologised and refused them, the table was small and I was on my honeymoon. My husband was just ordering drinks. The woman then got incredibly angry and stormed off!

I just found it rude and intimidating.

What does the age of the people asking to sit at the two free seats at the restaurant's table have to do with anything?

[StCharlotte]

Also what was the relevance of it being your honeymoon HopeWish? Were you expecting to have a quick shag while you were waiting for your entrée?

[anon12345678901]

[quote emilyfrost]@HopeWish was not rude or selfish. The other couple were exceptionally rude for asking to sit at their incredibly tiny table.[/quote]
I agree with this.

A small table would mean it's hard to have a private conversation. The other couple would just have had to wait their turn, like others had. I would have said no as well.

[Ughmaybenot]

The three loitering men - rude. If there were other benches etc nearby, which op seems to imply there is, they should’ve moved there. You can’t just hog restaurant tables for fun, altho that’s really on the cafe staff to move them on.
HopeWish - not rude. I wouldn’t want a random couples awkward conversation and pokey elbows at a diddy table while trying to enjoy my meal either.

[ThatIsMyPotato]

Just ask them? Maybe because of covid they thought they couldn't/shouldn't sit together.

[ThatIsMyPotato]

it was three separate men aged about 40-50 with no signs of disability (though I accept in hindsight they could have had a hidden disability!)

Their age and the gender you perceive them as is relevant why?

[FuckyouCovid21]

[quote emilyfrost]@HopeWish was not rude or selfish. The other couple were exceptionally rude for asking to sit at their incredibly tiny table.[/quote]
No they weren't, @HopeWish was the rude one and actually laughing that she told the couple she was on her honeymoon - cringe

[museumum]

This is entirely in the staff. They should have just said “hi, are you ordering lunch? No? Then can I get you to move to one of those tables over there as these ones are fir cafe customers. Thank you”.
Easy peasy.

I don’t think you can blame people at “an attraction” for sitting down at tables provided. I often visit places for work and need to sit down to make notes etc. A place to sit is basic accessibility provision.
I’d expect staff to say if I were sitting in the wrong place.

[WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll]

If you run a 'drop-in'-style cafe or similar and are unable/unwilling to tactfully but firmly move on customers who have finished, you shouldn't keep taking new business (and thus more money) from new customers who will have nowhere to sit to consume it.

To me, it would be the equivalent of a restaurant manager routinely and deliberately double and treble-booking every table, just to get in the maximum money without giving a stuff about their customers.

[ThatIsMyPotato]

HopeWish why does their age matter?! I think you were rude. Being on your honeymoon doesn't mean you have priority over sitting by yourself. Fair enough if you've said "actually the table is quite small and I'm expecting my husband so I don't think there will be room for us all". But using your honeymoon as an excuse is saying your material status trumps their need to sit down.