To expect an exception for bf baby?

[PatchItUp]

I have a 2 month old baby who is exclusively breastfed. Today I’ve got a hairdressers appointment for the first time in months and I’ve been really looking forward to it. I’m having cut and colour so may be a few hours. I’d expressed some milk and my DH is going to try giving him a bottle for the first time.

I mentioned when I arrived that this was the situation and that if he refused the bottle, my DH would bring the baby in to be fed then take him away again. I’ve done this in a different hairdressers with my older children before with no problem.

The receptionist said there was a no children policy and therefore I wouldn’t be able to bring him in. I was a bit shocked and reiterated that he is very young, exclusively bf and couldn’t be left hungry if he wouldn’t take the bottle. She said she would check with the hairdresser.

Hairdresser came and said much the same thing - no child policy, if we make an exception for you we have to make one for everyone and customers will complain. I said again that I understood a no child policy to prevent toddlers running around or making noise but this would be a small baby coming in for a feed and then out again. She said she would check with the manager.

Manager heard and said from across the room ‘there’s nowhere for you to go’. By this point all the customers are listening and I felt really conscious and upset about being argued with by three different members of staff. I was fairly sure that this was illegal refusal of services but not totally confident so I said ‘I don’t need to go anywhere, he’ll just be on my lap, have a feed then go again’. They all again said it’s company policy, they can’t make any exceptions. The manager said ‘what’s the percentage chance he’ll need to come in?’ And one of the women said ‘there’s a good chance he’ll just take the bottle so why not take the risk?’ I replied I couldn’t take the risk that he wouldn’t take it and would be left screaming and hungry and not allowed to come in.

Eventually the manager reluctantly agreed that he could be brought in if necessary but it was clear they were really unhappy about it and it’s soured the experience for me massively.

When I checked on my phone it seems they’re acting illegally in refusing services to a breastfeeding mother, although I guess they could argue it’s down to chemical hazards (although this wasn’t mentioned at any time as a reason).

So - was I being unreasonable? And would I be unreasonable to complain later on?

I know some people will say I should have just left but my hair is such a state!! And I’ve been really looking forward to having it cut and having a few hours to myself.

I dont think you're being at all unreasonable. Such a tiny baby, it's a bit different from a wild toddler running round the place. As another customer, I wouldn't mind at all. Congratulations on your baby

You are being overwhelmingly unreasonable! You were told no 3 times but still insisted that an exception should be made for you! I wouldn't even want to go to that appointment now! Surely your own common sense would tell you that a baby in a hairdressers is a bad idea, the hair, chemical fumes, disruption to other customers who have also waited months for a bit of me time only to listen to your baby crying as you can't say for certain he wouldn't cry with the fumes alone!

So what if the hairdresser stumble whilst coming to you with the pot and it all lands on your lap and baby? You want to put your baby around chemicals, and they don’t want the risks that comes with it which is more than fair enough.

YABU
And in the nicest possible way, you were the one arguing with them. So although I get that you weren’t happy with the decision, you brought the three of them into your argument.
I personally wouldn’t be at all bothered by a baby at the hairdressers but I understand they didn’t want to treat customers differently and their rules are up to them.

YANBU op and I’m sorry you haven’t had very sympathetic responses.

My hairdresser wouldn’t have minded a bit.

YABU

[quote PatchItUp]@BonasthatBonas so I shouldn’t have my hair cut for as long as I’m breastfeeding?

I promise not to complain if my baby accidentally swallows my hair [/quote]
When DD was that age I arranged for a hairdresser to come to my home instead. Can't you do that?

@PatchItUp

Is there no way you can nip out (at some stage) to give baby a feed?

Never had a colour before so not sure how it works but I assume there will be some time you'll be waiting around? Granted that may not be exactly when baby wants to feed but it may negate a screaming, hungry baby and allow you to at least have your appointment?

@Crunchymum the previous place closed down. The manager of this place used to work at my old hairdressers.

@BonasthatBonas you seem very unhappy about this. If it took an extra 15 minutes of course I would happily pay for the extended time, however there’s no reason it should.

Sorry I can’t remember who said I should have given him a big feed before I left, of course I did do this. I have also left milk for him. I just don’t know if he’ll take it, bringing him in would be a worst case scenario.

Yes I could have trialled a bottle before this, I should have done. But having said that, my first DC took bottles fine most of the time but occasionally would refuse one for no apparent reason. Babies can be unpredictable and I wouldn’t like to know there is no chance I can feed him in the unlikely scenario that he needs it.

If I had been made aware of the no child policy I would have discussed this with the hairdressers prior to the appointment.

Hey everyone, you’re all missing the point. Come on.

OP is the first person to ever have a baby and the first one to breastfeed. Please give her the adoration she deserves, and suspend all of your own plans and comfort to suit her.

Honestly OP, this place...

Yabu.

Why don't you try to get your baby to take a bottle BEFORE you get your hair done? Give him a mixture of breast and bottle for a few days then you'll know he's fine to be left. I don't understand why you haven't made sure he'll take a bottle beforehand.

Piss poor planning on your part doesn't mean the salon has to break the rules for you.

I'm afraid your wishes don't trump everyone else's. No kids in the salon means no kids in the salon.

Yabu.

And Yabu to want your baby breathing all those chemicals in.

The thing people are missing is that at this young age they don’t really count as a ‘child.’

For a breastfeeding mother of a tiny baby you are pretty much one person. People can YABU all they like but that’s how it is. That’s why there are laws in place about it.

But then mn is never very kind to mothers of tiny babies.

@TheKeatingFive

What’s their justification for being child free?

It could be down to noise, other disturbances, unattended free range children, health and safety, consideration for others, insurance etc.

Do they have to 'justify' themselves?

Yabu. And I say that as a breastfeeding mother. A haircut and colour is not essential, it's just one of those things you accept you can't do as a BF mother. I waited a long time for my first haircut post partum as a result. If I had
really been bothered, there are home hairdressers.

I'm just gonna go out on a limb amd assume your first baby? If he refuses the bottle, so thus needs to be fed, why are you expecting him to be 'silent' when he is brought to you? Do you not think your newborn will be crying a)in distress at the bottle and b)in hunger? This is how your baby will disturb others.

I hate how some mothers assume, just because they are now mothers, they are somehow the centre of the universe. With each update you sound more entitled.

Oh and I literally in the past two weeks stopped bfing my baby, so to the poster who seems to think my opinion is bitter because I never bf or cant remember what it's like, quite the opposite.

@PatchItUp you were the one who said it would be 15 minutes in your earlier post.

Did you offer to pay for the hairdressers time while you fed or just threaten them with how you believe their no child policy was illegal and discriminating against you because you can’t do exactly what you want?

What about what a previous poster said about how they could spill the dye all over your baby? Not a concern?

Happily breastfed my two DDs —forever— but YABU. Child free policy means child free!

Strikethrough fail

@FilthyforFirth not my first baby no, I explained in a PP that I have fed my previous children at hairdressers before

Yeah sorry I think YABU. I’m not even bothered about the other customers but I would worry about getting dye on the baby, or the wriggler kicking stuff off the hairdresser’s trolley, or getting coated in hair, or the baby spitting up on the gown, or how I’d manoeuvre her around the plastic collar thing and gown without getting dye on my clothes ... I can completely see why they would say no, I don’t think babies and salons mix!

I know the realities of a bottle refusing baby - either you time it round nap time and hope they’ll change their mind if they get really hungry or you just go for a quick trim and save the colour for when they go longer between feeds.

Well I've taken both of mine into the hairdressers at about five weeks old and again at three months BUT I checked beforehand that it would be ok, and went on a Monday morning when it's dead anyway.

However if they have a no child policy then YABU to expect an exception. Whatever the reason, they have the right to make this policy. It's got nothing to do with breastfeeding, or how long it would take or anything else.

Hey @PatchItUp I agree with you. I know others don’t, but I don’t give a shit where I am or what anyone else thinks - if my baby needs feeding, he needs feeding. We are still not supportive of breastfeeding as we should be. YANBU and if I were you I would have left and I would not be returning. Or I guess you could have gotten up and gone outside and fed him possibly. But I wouldn’t be going back.