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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect an exception for bf baby?

999 replies

PatchItUp · 05/05/2021 14:41

I have a 2 month old baby who is exclusively breastfed. Today I’ve got a hairdressers appointment for the first time in months and I’ve been really looking forward to it. I’m having cut and colour so may be a few hours. I’d expressed some milk and my DH is going to try giving him a bottle for the first time.

I mentioned when I arrived that this was the situation and that if he refused the bottle, my DH would bring the baby in to be fed then take him away again. I’ve done this in a different hairdressers with my older children before with no problem.

The receptionist said there was a no children policy and therefore I wouldn’t be able to bring him in. I was a bit shocked and reiterated that he is very young, exclusively bf and couldn’t be left hungry if he wouldn’t take the bottle. She said she would check with the hairdresser.

Hairdresser came and said much the same thing - no child policy, if we make an exception for you we have to make one for everyone and customers will complain. I said again that I understood a no child policy to prevent toddlers running around or making noise but this would be a small baby coming in for a feed and then out again. She said she would check with the manager.

Manager heard and said from across the room ‘there’s nowhere for you to go’. By this point all the customers are listening and I felt really conscious and upset about being argued with by three different members of staff. I was fairly sure that this was illegal refusal of services but not totally confident so I said ‘I don’t need to go anywhere, he’ll just be on my lap, have a feed then go again’. They all again said it’s company policy, they can’t make any exceptions. The manager said ‘what’s the percentage chance he’ll need to come in?’ And one of the women said ‘there’s a good chance he’ll just take the bottle so why not take the risk?’ I replied I couldn’t take the risk that he wouldn’t take it and would be left screaming and hungry and not allowed to come in.

Eventually the manager reluctantly agreed that he could be brought in if necessary but it was clear they were really unhappy about it and it’s soured the experience for me massively.

When I checked on my phone it seems they’re acting illegally in refusing services to a breastfeeding mother, although I guess they could argue it’s down to chemical hazards (although this wasn’t mentioned at any time as a reason).

So - was I being unreasonable? And would I be unreasonable to complain later on?

I know some people will say I should have just left but my hair is such a state!! And I’ve been really looking forward to having it cut and having a few hours to myself.

OP posts:
superram · 05/05/2021 14:53

Yabu for all the reasons mentioned above.

Devlesko · 05/05/2021 14:53

YABU, the appointment is for grown ups, who probably want a relaxing time. Surely they would go to one that welcomed children and breast feeding mothers if they didn't mind.
Your experienced was soured at not being able to take your baby.
Think about other paying customers whose experience would be soured by your baby.
I'd complain and expect a refund, if that happened to me.

thirstyformore · 05/05/2021 14:54

Yanbu and I think some of the comments here are really harsh! You should be able to quietly feed a baby whilst having your hair done. It's not a big deal. I doubt any of the other clients would even notice. Since when did babies become such a burden on society?

vivainsomnia · 05/05/2021 14:54

Surely the obvious should have been to book two appointments. Just the cut first so you could gage how baby faired with the bottle and be home soon enough if he didn’t, and the colour another day. I’m surprised no one suggested that option.

Globaluser · 05/05/2021 14:54

How far away is the hairdressers? I mean how long will it take for your DH to bring your crying hungry baby to you?
I think you’re being a bit entitled and also very precious! If I may say so...

BonasthatBonas · 05/05/2021 14:54

[quote PatchItUp]@BonasthatBonas so I shouldn’t have my hair cut for as long as I’m breastfeeding?

I promise not to complain if my baby accidentally swallows my hair Confused[/quote]
My apologies. Of course you should. You are so important after all. The hairdresser should immediately stop your treatment and gaze adoringly at you while you feed your baby for as long as you desire and then of course while you wind and settle baby before your DH traipses into the hairdresser again to relieve you of your precious bundle of joy. Who cares about other customers waiting for haircuts, who cares about timings or potential dangers to your baby! Biscuit

Or you know, maybe trial a expressed bottle on a day you don’t have an appointment, see how it goes, arrange your appointment around feeding.

maddy68 · 05/05/2021 14:55

Yabu

thatonehasalittlecar · 05/05/2021 14:55

I completely disagree that you’re being unreasonable. YANBU

I wouldn’t consider supporting a business so unsupportive of mothers, breastfeeding or otherwise.

Carrottop73 · 05/05/2021 14:55

YABU. It’s a no children policy.

Porridgeislife · 05/05/2021 14:55

I would be very unimpressed if someone brought their baby to the hairdresser during my appointment. YABU.

FrankieDoyle · 05/05/2021 14:55

YABVU

thirstyformore · 05/05/2021 14:55

@Devlesko - you'd expect a refund because a baby is fed for 15 minutes in the same room as you?!?! Bizarre.

BettyUnderswoob · 05/05/2021 14:57

YABVU.

I BF 5 DC, and don't recall having this problem; I'd just wait till I was able to go out for an hour or two without baby. May take a few months, but it's only hair.
Plus, loads of us need our hair doing ATM.

Yokey · 05/05/2021 14:57

I bf and I'm protective of bf rights, but they don't apply in this situation. There's no children allowed. Plenty of bf mums manage hair appointments. You're concerned you can't (which is fine), but it just means that this establishment doesn't cater to your needs and you should go elsewhere. They're not at fault and you shouldn't expect them to change their policy.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/05/2021 14:57

Are mothers just supposed to stay at home for months/years if bf?

I BF for over a year. An older BF child could reliably eat food or you'd know if they'd take a bottle or cup and their routine is settled so you know how long you have. It's six months at the outside you don't take a child into an adult environment. Full of chemicals and equipment!

museumum · 05/05/2021 14:58

A haircut isn't the issue, a cut with blowdry is done in less than an hour and you'd be out to feed your baby.

The issue is the colour, and actually I would feel very nervous feeding a small baby with dye on my hair, what if he grabbed for a foil, or it dripped? what could it do to his delicate skin? and what if he turned up at a key time for the colour? could it not end up ruined if on for 15mins too long?

thirstyformore · 05/05/2021 14:58

@PatchItUp - the Mumsnet vipers are out in force today. So many rude comments. I'd ignore the majority Smile Set of sour pusses on this thread who either don't have kids, can't remember what it is like to have a newborn or are just plain and simple mean.

MatthewHBpig · 05/05/2021 14:58

@Trixie78

Gosh I'm going against the grain here it seems but I think the hairdresser's handled that dreadfully. No bother would be caused to anyone by a baby having a 10 minute feed on your lap FFS! Are mothers just supposed to stay at home for months/years if bf? Give your heads wobble the lot of you. 🤔🤔🤔

OP cancel your appointment and go somewhere else who understands their customer's needs, you deserve this to be a relaxing experience xx

Head a wobble really? 😂😂😂

HD can't know it will take 10 mins
HD can't know if baby won't scream due to noise of driers
HD can't know if baby won't vomit up feed
HD can't know if baby will be not be screaming blue murder upon arrival if it was hungry which I'm guessing it will be due to the whole query at hand...

Give your head a bobble

Meezer2 · 05/05/2021 14:59

Yabu
Mother of three all BF and a hair appointment was my time without them. As is for many clients.
I wouldn't want the sanctuary of a relaxing hair appointment being disturbed by someone else's crying hungry baby.

It's not a necessary appointment and you should abide by the rules of the salon
Sorry

PatchItUp · 05/05/2021 14:59

Thanks for replies so far, it’s interesting to see the opinions. I really find it surprising how many people would be livid about a baby coming in to a room, sitting on my lap to be fed for 15 minutes, then leaving. He’d obviously be silent for the 15 minutes it takes to feed him. How would that impact on anyone else’s haircut experience?

OP posts:
MatthewHBpig · 05/05/2021 14:59

Bobble is better than wobble. Slightly more comical?...

MatthewHBpig · 05/05/2021 15:01

[quote thirstyformore]@PatchItUp - the Mumsnet vipers are out in force today. So many rude comments. I'd ignore the majority Smile Set of sour pusses on this thread who either don't have kids, can't remember what it is like to have a newborn or are just plain and simple mean.

[/quote]
Sour?.. 😂😂😂😂

Hopdathelf · 05/05/2021 15:02

YABVU and lots of valid reasons have been given why you are.

People need to accept sometimes that some environments aren’t suitable for children and timed services can’t just grind to a halt to allow people to feed, children to eat/play or (my personal favourite) learn manners and social skills in the adult world.

Yokey · 05/05/2021 15:02

@thatonehasalittlecar

I completely disagree that you’re being unreasonable. YANBU

I wouldn’t consider supporting a business so unsupportive of mothers, breastfeeding or otherwise.

This is correct: OP shouldn't support the business because it doesn't cater to her bf. I bf so I wouldn't support it either. I think they've been upfront about this though and it's not at all unfair. OP is unreasonable to not just accept it and go elsewhere.
3JsMa · 05/05/2021 15:02

YANBU.
Did they expalain why they do not want children around?Is it Covid related?
I would understand that they may not want to have unruly kids running around while mother has a haircut but a new baby that will just be brought for few minutes to be fed?Totally unreasonable and discriminatory,I would leave and find another hairdresser.

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