To ask if you have DC in private school, what your combined income is?

[ponderingthisthing]

We're sending DD to an independent school starting reception as the school has a very good reputation and we think DD will be very happy there.

We're not rich though and our combined income pre tax is about 100k, which I know for most people would be too low a threshold for them to consider private school. However, we'd rather that we offered her the best that we could afford in terms of education in place of expensive holidays, for example.

So AIBU to wonder what your combined income is if you have DC in private school?

If we're one of the more modest families there, will it impact the experience in any way, even at primary school sort of age?

About £250k plus decent bonuses but I only work part-time so can flex up if we need to, only have one set of fees at the moment, eldest is in state secondary and smallest starts pre-prep next year.

Our combined income before tax is £75k... daughter gets 50% bursary. It’s tricky, but we feel fortunate to be able to give her this opportunity. 1k mortgage etc too :(

We have a similar combined income and are considering private for our two from secondary onwards. However, we have a savings plan on place for the next seven years to afford it. Paying from primary all the way through for two kids would be impossible on our salaries and our mortgage is comparable to yours. We also live very frugally. I simply don’t see how your sums add up, to be paying as you go i.e. not having a chunk of the fees in savings at the start. Secondary fees are quite a bit more, unless you have a substantial salary increase by then I can’t see how you’ll do it. Round here secondary is about £5.5k per child per term so about £30k a year for two, plus trips, uniform, music lessons etc. Another £5k for those? From a 100k gross income that’s got to be at least half your take home. Another £12k for mortgage payments and you don’t have much leftover for everything else. I can’t see how that’s possible? Are you sure you haven’t started down a path that you can’t see through?

I''ll feed it - 110k combined and not a chance of affording private for two kids.

I was privately educated and would love to but, no.

It will depend on your disposable income and savings but considering you have another child to presumably send to the same school/s, I think you will struggle. It depends upon the school and your family lifestyle, but your children might do better elsewhere.

DD is just in the nursery at present but we have a £45k total income as my husband is at university. Once he's working it will go up by at least £30k. We're anticipating having to apply for a bursary for her reception year (which they are very open to as it's a short term need) although her grandparents have said they will help that year if needed.

Private school is a lot more affordable than people think - it's about what you prioritise. We can live on my salary and still make small savings as we have a small house and affordable mortgage and live very frugally, so my husband's future salary will more than cover her school.

Income is irrelevant really, it’s disposable and how much fees actually are.
We are in Yorkshire and my PT salary covers fees for the 2 DC without needing to factor in what DH earns.

“We have an only DC in pre-prep and combined salary of about £300k. I’m really hoping it will help
DC get into a decent state grammar - private secondary means they are somewhat disadvantaged at UCAS stage “

Unis (inc Oxbridge) are contextualising selective grammars in the same category as selective independents now. So moving from an independent to a grammar thinking it may make it easier to get into uni is a false move. This is because top unis couldn’t hide the reality behind the stats - eg they may claim to be widening participation by raising g the percentage of state school intake, but then, closer inspection reveals this state cohort is mainly grammar anyway. So now they differentiate according to how selective a school is - ie they look at the average GCSEs and A-levels in a given school (independent of state) and contextualise an applicants grades accordingly.

average 300k - some years more due to bonus.

I earn £50k and pay half my ds's fees,

So £8k out of about £34,000 net income.

175k combined (gross), no mortgage, no expensive cars/hobbies/ travel. 2 kids. Both went to local ofsted outstanding rated primary so no need to consider private. Eldest has ASD and ADHD and is at state secondary (no provision locally for private that catered for his difficulties). Planning to send youngest to private secondary, £12k per year. Can easily afford.

I've worried about it seeming "unfair" that we didn't send eldest private. But he will always struggle in life so we'll probably end up giving him more help with a property, car etc. and it will even out.

75k-ish here.

BUT we’re in NI, where prep schools are approx. £4K per school year, so vastly more affordable than in GB.

Prep schools feed into a Grammar, which usually have voluntary fees of a few hundred a year, so our costs will go down as the dc move through the schools, not up.

I put three children thru private school on one income (A state school teacher salary).. Mine is in US$ but it averaged out to 20% of my gross income rising to 25% in secondary school. My last one graduates this year (YAY!) and he costs 30% which includes tuition, books, laptop loan, uniforms, lunches and trips.
Needless to say we have had no holidays, no new cars, no house redecorating etc. We did get two dogs, who are our "entertainment" and comfort. Also my son got a part time job his last year to pay for special senior events (prom, etc.) and start saving for college.

I put three children thru private school on one income (A state school teacher salary)

Wow that's insanely different to here! That simply wouldn't be able to happen in England. A state school teacher wouldn't be able to afford 1 child in a private school along with all the other bills let alone 3.

We have a combined income over 200k in the south east and consider it would be manageable but too big a sacrifice for us to send 2. Basically it would consume almost all my salary after tax and pension, putting too much pressure on DH to pay for everything else, including a big mortgage. We also would worry about disrupting children if either of us lost our jobs, and don't feel the value add of private school is "worth" the cost.

@Wilkolampshade

Crikey, all this £££! Feeling very humbled! We had one at a specialist school on the DFES Music and Dance scheme so we paid around 4k of the 32k fees. Joint income about 50 - 70 K but it went up and down, mainly down this year 😅. Very mixed bag of peers as entry on ability not depth of pockets. Honestly didn't really come up as an issue as kids did f' all that required any cash...no ski trips or the like, also, the kids themselves rate each other on different criteria IMHO. Tougher now at Conservatoire as richer families top up fees way beyond the level we can., which is fine, I'd probs do the same if I could. She just eats a lot of dahl and is looking for a pt job so she can go out a bit next year.

Hi, I remember you. My dd is starting conservatoire auditions soon, she's got herself a good old fashioned bottom drawer going at home. Also specialist Music school, and dd will be topped up with a hamper every term. Not a huge amont of money here atm.

[quote ponderingthisthing]@Allthereindeersaregirls so is wraparound care at your DC's current school free?

We have some after school clubs that are free, others you have to pay for.[/quote]
DC2 is in kindergarten which is 7.30-6 (if we want it to be) as standard as it operates like the attached nursery but in the pre-prep school building. DC1 is in reception equivalent, breakfast club is free, and 2 after school clubs which change termly (currently dance and football) but only until 5pm. They also have an after school club everyday until 6 which is extra but ad-hoc usage is fine. I'd worked out how much we were likely to use it and factor that in to the monthly cost.

Combined income of about £160k here and not sufficient in my mind to pay for private. Not worth the sacrifice. I top up state with a tutor and lots of sports clubs. I also work part time so I can spend time them not cart them off in a minibus to private school from 7.30-5.30 which is what happens round here. London private’s massively overrated.

I also know this means they will leave Uni (if they choose to go) debt free as I will pay for all plus I can give them a sizeable house deposit.

We’re on the same (down from £160k, thanks Covid), couldn’t even consider it - SE, mortgage outgoings of about £1900 per month

About £350K before tax. Both DC currently at state school but planning to move them to private school from Y4 onwards. Quite anxious about the expense - it will be £700-£800K in total for both children (boarding) and that’s a huge amount of money. I just hope I don’t lose my job.

Part of me wonders if they would be better off if I kept them in state school and we had a nicer house/holidays, etc instead, and I gave them money to buy their own property when they’re older.

I also have mixed feelings about private schools in general - I wish they were all abolished to be honest and every child had to go to a state school. It’s basically social apartheid, which I really don’t like. But on the other hand my state secondary was so shambolic and rough I really wouldn’t want my children to go somewhere like that if I can help it.

Not sure what the answer is!

@DrSbaitso you obviously feel bitter about the OPs salary. That's on you. Move on and troll another thread.

Its a pointless question. Depends on size of your mortgage and spending in general. Holidays clothes house improvements and so on. And of course the actual school fees.

Part of me wonders if they would be better off if I kept them in state school and we had a nicer house/holidays, etc instead, and I gave them money to buy their own property when they’re older.
What I remember most from my childhood was holidays in France learning about history and cathedrals and small villages we used to end up in......
I wouldn't sacrifice those fun educational holidays for a private education if there was a good state school available nearby.

£45k joint income. I do get a 50% bursary though on the £15k fees. It's all the extras that add up