To ask if you have DC in private school, what your combined income is?

[ponderingthisthing]

We're sending DD to an independent school starting reception as the school has a very good reputation and we think DD will be very happy there.

We're not rich though and our combined income pre tax is about 100k, which I know for most people would be too low a threshold for them to consider private school. However, we'd rather that we offered her the best that we could afford in terms of education in place of expensive holidays, for example.

So AIBU to wonder what your combined income is if you have DC in private school?

If we're one of the more modest families there, will it impact the experience in any way, even at primary school sort of age?

You’re very defensive OP.

We have two dc in private and a joint gross income of circa £500k We are by no means the richest. Most families are double medic and so circa £150-200k

We have a similar combined income and have considered private schooling for our two from secondary only. However, that’s going to cost about £225k which would be a massive amount for us and we’ve decided that as we have a good secondary near us that it’s not worth it. It would be a stretch to pay that and the inevitable ski trips etc. I’d rather be able to give them a decent house deposit when they need it.

I have to say my view is skewed though because I feel like I’m happy with where I am in life and I don’t feel like private school would have made me any happier (although I would have almost certainly got better exam results).

I would have said you were cutting it fine with putting one child through on that income but unless there's a huge wage increase in the future you will probably have to move the first child later on as I cannot see that income covering everything plus 2 sets of school fees.

Mine is too young at the moment but the only person I know with a child at a private school earns approximately 150k and she has a husband who also earns in addition to that amount. She also only has 1 child specifically because she worried about affording fees for more than 1 child.

I hate these threads. We earn 80k between us with 2 children. For us to sacrifice go give our children the ‘best’ as you put it we’d have to stop all extra curricular activities, sell our normal 3 bed house and move to a 2 bed terrace in a not nice, drug hotspot area. I fee we’re giving our children the ‘best’ by staying in an area where they aren’t hearing about incidents in their local area every week, have a stable home, feel safe and are able to choose hobbies that we fully support them with.
We support them with everything at home which is what I think is important.

@HasaDigaEebowai

You’re very defensive OP.

We have two dc in private and a joint gross income of circa £500k We are by no means the richest. Most families are double medic and so circa £150-200k

I'm defensive as I don't get why certain users can't just move on if they don't get why you're asking a question, and why they feel entitled to start bashing.

We started off sending DC to private school. By the time baby no 2 came along I decided I didn’t want to work as much and we moved her to state and will be sending our baby to state school too. It’s fine to be a lower earner but if you have to take on extra work and work more than you’d like just to pay for it then that pressure isn’t worth it in my opinion. Many parents at my DC’s school had grandparents who paid or inherited wealth, they didn’t pay out of their salaries at all. If you pay for private school from salaries and it’s tight and one of you is ill or gets made redundant then shit gets real very quickly.

@Fixitup2 It's the "best in terms of education" as I originally put it, and that's just our own view, given where we live. In terms of what's best in general. Every parent wants to give their children the best and are best judges of their own situation, so definitely nothing against parents who send their children to state schools!

Had a pre tax earning of about £95k, but chose to reduce hours at work to spend more time with the kids instead of earning more to do private

(What young)
Could go full time again if we felt the need but it seems a nice balance for now and glad to have the options

Then again, I chose that because I think £95k would have left us a bit tight with the school fees, although dropping my hours has reduced our annual income by £20k so it’s about the same cost overall roughly

We’ve had 4 in independent schools and have recently paid the last sets of school fees for two of them for this term! When our first started at age 4, the fees were just over 3k per term. Now, in senior school, it’s almost 8k per term (this is London though). I don’t know how much DH earns as he’s self-employed so has never had a regular salary; more that he invests and pays from dividends etc. Also, he has used profits from his City Index account over the years, but it’s been swings and roundabouts and all sorts really. Anyway, he’s managed it.

The people I know of going to private school either had savings for it because of huge one off payouts from selling stocks etc or was paid for by a company as a bonus

I went to private school as did 3 of my siblings but my parents didn’t need to pay for it.

I’m unsure of their earnings at the time but it would have been between £120-£150k

We have £115k pre tax and school fees are £18k for 2 pre prep (technically one pre-prep and 1 nursery), including wrap around, trips and lunches, going up to £25k for 2 when both in Prep but that won't be for 3 years and we should get pay rises by that point. I didn't think we'd be able to afford private secondary, but the cost will actually be broadly the same as we won't have extra wrap around to factor in.

We had 2 in private nursery at £1700 per month, so private school is actually cheaper for us than that and similar cost to the local state school + wrap around due to the wrap around care being very expensive and rigid (e.g. having to book termly with no flexibility meaning we'd book and pay for more than we needed).

I'd say from what I know of the kids in DCs class, we are very average for the income (teachers, social workers, doctors and dentists amongst the other parents).

@KingdomScrolls that’s me spending 50k on Disney world but my ds has never had any thing as extravagant in 14 years and daughter in 8 it’s a one time sort of thing ! My savings are paying for it.

Crikey, all this £££! Feeling very humbled!
We had one at a specialist school on the DFES Music and Dance scheme so we paid around 4k of the 32k fees. Joint income about 50 - 70 K but it went up and down, mainly down this year 😅. Very mixed bag of peers as entry on ability not depth of pockets. Honestly didn't really come up as an issue as kids did f' all that required any cash...no ski trips or the like, also, the kids themselves rate each other on different criteria IMHO.
Tougher now at Conservatoire as richer families top up fees way beyond the level we can., which is fine, I'd probs do the same if I could. She just eats a lot of dahl and is looking for a pt job so she can go out a bit next year.

£97k combined. I work at the school and get a substantial discount so we can send 2DCs quite comfortably - currently in Prep yr3&6, both been there since Nursery. I currently work PT and always have the option to up my hours if we need more income though. Without my discount, we could send one but not both.

@Chickoletta

£97k combined. I work at the school and get a substantial discount so we can send 2DCs quite comfortably - currently in Prep yr3&6, both been there since Nursery. I currently work PT and always have the option to up my hours if we need more income though. Without my discount, we could send one but not both.

That sounds like a really great set up.

I don't think it impacts the educational experience. As they go through school, there will be children who gain access via scholarships - who often are much brighter and motivated than their wealthier counterparts.

Just make sure you factor in for the fact that the price only ever goes up and there are numerous add on costs.

@Allthereindeersaregirls so is wraparound care at your DC's current school free?

We have some after school clubs that are free, others you have to pay for.

We have 2 DC in private and earn over 180k between us

About £350k, one DC at private boarding, will be doing 2 more years and then we have a couple of years break from fees (although will have to pay Uni expenses) before last DC goes to same school.

@ponderingthisthing I know you meant the best education. I just always take it personally when it’s suggested those who don’t but could aren’t making the sacrifices. Like you say it’s weighing it up.
Looking at these prices of school fees though, our local private option is much higher and would cost 26k for 2 in primary rising in secondary excluding transport, clubs and wraparound. There is a cheaper one but the drug problem in the seniors is awful so not an option.

tbh I think it's impossible to answer that question as cicumstances vary so much.

I have two dcs in private school. Combined income of around £50k. Grandparents are paying for the fees. we pay for the school uniforms, trips, canteen, and any other costs incur at school (eg some activities).
We are in the north, mortgage is about 350. We live very comfortably. I'm getting the feeling you think it will be tight. I can only see one reason to it: where you live. The south is still much more expensive....

Sorry, I meant to say, we have less disposable income than you have after aying for the school fees....

but how much is enough will depend lot of where you live! Size of the mortgage, and any other expenses you might have.

Hopw I've made myelf clearer

We have two DC at private school and our income varies it is more than £100k though.

I would say we are about average at the school - it is mainly two parents working FT as Doctors, dentists, lawyers and some teachers, very few SAHP. There are a few outrageously wealthy families there but it's not like they are any different to us.

The plan is to get the DC into state grammar at 11, which I think is similar to a lot of the families.

The school has fantastic wrap around care options and after school clubs (all additional costs) which is really important when you have two parents working FT and one of the reasons we chose this school over our state options.

We worked out the costs as follows - current fees plus 5% inflation each year and then we divided by 7 to get the average. We save the average each year so we don't have to find extra money each academic new year. I certainly do not get a 5% pay rise each year (maybe in total over the last decade!) and so it was important that we could afford the fees over the whole 7 years. We pay a year in advance (which gives us a discount) and have some rainy day money set aside so we shouldn't need to pull the DC out of school at short notice.