To think it's ridiculous that they wouldn't cut my DD's hair?

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

Took my kids (DD who is 8 and DS who is 5) to a new barbers down the road today for haircuts. I'd booked in 2 kids haircuts on their website, but when I got there I was told "We can only cut your sons hair as we don't do girl's hair". I said I only wanted a trim round the bottom of it, half an inch, really simple haircut and was told no.

The things is, my kids have the same hairstyle!! Both have shoulder length bobs, except DS has a fringe and DD doesn't. They cut DS's hair no problem and I sat wondering what it was about my DD's biology that made them unable to cut her hair in the same way as my son's.

AIBU to think this is quite ridiculous? Unless there's some genuinely good reason to do with the material difference between male hair and female hair? It reminds me of a colleague who once came back to the staff room ranting after getting her (very short, like a Sue Perkins hair cut) hair cut because although it was the exact same trim as the bloke in the chair next to her except he paid £8 and she paid £21!

[OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow]

It’s shite, when I had hair shorter than my dh’s (think Annie Lennox but shorter but with a flat top in the 80s I used to get that treatment, I knew exactly where to go. Which was funny because when I had ds and he had a very 90s bowl cut they did it no problems and it took a lot more expertise than my number 2 at the back and number 3 on top. And when my sister was here from Australia she always walked straight into the barbers for her similar crop. And when my adult kids with long hair went to our unisex hairdressers it used to piss me off that dds cost more than ds.

[RedcurrantPuff]

Barbers seem to make it up as they go along

I remember a few years ago trying to get my 2 sons haircuts for school going back and the barbers weren’t even cutting boys’ hair let alone girls. Apparently this is a thing when they are “busy”, to only take men and not boys. Even though they were all dead with no one waiting.

[ladywithnomanors]

@Atalantea
Did I say anything about needing a penis to get a haircut?

I think it’s a massive fuss about nothing. There are other hairdressers. I really don’t think it’s an issue.

[Battleaxeoutofhell]

This reminds me of when my (female but butch/masculine presenting) ex partner went into an empty barbers and was told 'we don't do women's hair'. She said 'Well you are doing!' and sat down

It is ridiculous OP. I would take her in again tomorrow but call her a stereotypically male name and see what they do (but that would be giving them your money wouldn't it so perhaps not).

[Cormoran]

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop there was a similar case here in Australia and the mother took the barber to court www.9news.com.au/national/sydney-barber-girls-haircut-refusal-settles-out-of-court/d03bff73-7c5d-4351-8c30-a45dee43e6c1

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

They had pride pin badges on their tops, so I do wonder if I went tomorrow in and said she identifies as a boy they'd do the haircut I probably wouldn't as DD would be "No I don't!"

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

[quote Cormoran]@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop there was a similar case here in Australia and the mother took the barber to court www.9news.com.au/national/sydney-barber-girls-haircut-refusal-settles-out-of-court/d03bff73-7c5d-4351-8c30-a45dee43e6c1[/quote]
Wow, that's very interesting. How annoying he spun a sob story about a nasty woman calling out his sexism - and it WAS sexism as the woman's daughter just wanted clippers under her undercut!

[Atalantea]

[quote ladywithnomanors]@Atalantea
Did I say anything about needing a penis to get a haircut?

I think it’s a massive fuss about nothing. There are other hairdressers. I really don’t think it’s an issue.[/quote]
you said "Barbers cut men’s hair." therefore you need to have a penis to have your haircut at a barbers

[Stroopwaffle5000]

My local barber used to trim my hair for a couple of quid. My hair was long and it took him about 3 minutes to trim half an inch off the end.

[VanGoghsDog]

@Viviennemary

I think they were in the right. Barbers cut men's hair. I thought everyone knew that.

But hair is hair. When I was broke years ago and had short hair I got it cut at the barber's for about £8, when salons were more like £40. The barber didn't seem to care or query it. I went there for about three years.

[BogRollBOGOF]

We stopped going to the barbers as my DSs have longer hair. One was trained in hair dressing and could do them, but the other couldn't as his training was more limited and had a smaller repetoire mainly using clippers. Fair enough. But it was awkward as it meant a longer wait and DS1 would struggle and build up a meltdown from the sensory input.
Fortunately after a few goes there, a friend around the corner launched her home salon and can cope with boys with longer hair and we don't have the sensory issues.

Fair enough that there are limits on styles avaliable, but for people wanting more unisex styles, they should not be discriminated against based on sex.

[dementedpixie]

I take my ds to my hairdresser as his hair is longer and the barbers just try to chop it all off as they don't know what to do with longer hair styles. We had a couple of tearful visits when they just chopped his fringe off with no warning

[CallMeCleo]

@NewlyGranny

Just tell the barber, "It's OK, DD is identifying as a boy today!"

Job done. If they don't fall into line smartish, they're transphobes and bigots, right?

This.

[minniemomo]

It's actually illegal for them to refuse, you could report them. The law changed in 2010 and it means than unless providing intimate services hair and beauty salons cannot discriminate, barbers included though they can refuse styles not within their repertoire.

Beauty salons can refuse to treat the opposite sex if it requires removing of normal clothing eg massage, waxing etc. You do see lots of ladies only salons though

[Hatethepatriarchy]

If no ones commented it yet it’s because they’re only insured to cut males hair

[SnackSizeRaisin]

Why don't you just trim her hair yourself OP? Save a few quid and surely it's not that difficult.
I've never had a haircut I liked in a hairdressers. I am not fussy just don't want it to look ridiculous. Without exception they wet my curly hair, cut it wet, then act very surprised when it fluffs up once it dries - requiring a hat to be worn until it grows out. I have been doing it myself for the last 15 years with much better results. Therefore I'm a bit sceptical about all this men's hair Vs women's hair business. Fair enough they may know about hair dye. But I don't really believe they know anything about hair type or head shape, that might be specific to a man or woman.

[Tessabelle74]

It's all down to insurance. Legally a hairdresser can cut male hair, but a barber can't cut females

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

Why don't you just trim her hair yourself OP?

Because I like my child and don't want her to look like shit. Seriously I can barely cut a piece of paper straight

[ChrissyPlummer]

Never known it to be an issue, though thinking about it, I have a pixie so would probably be cheaper at a barbers. Then, I don’t think they would be able to dye it? Anyway, the best fringe trim I ever had was in a barbers in Stratford Market. Refused to take any money from me too!

[Summerfun54321]

I always got my hair cut at a male barbers in London. It was next to my office and I got some funny looks from the other male customers but it was dirt cheap and they did an amazing job every time. Never turned me away once. You’d have to have a bloody good reason to turn away a paying customer.

[AutomaticMoon]

YANBU When I was 12 I went to a barber shop and cut my hair from a bob to a short kind of piece cut. This was in another country but it shouldn’t make a difference. When I came to UK I worked in a hairdressing shop in London & men would often come for haircuts even though next door to us there was a barber. Very odd that they refused to do it.

[SimonJT]

@Tessabelle74

It's all down to insurance. Legally a hairdresser can cut male hair, but a barber can't cut females

Do you actually believe that?

[Rewis]

@Tessabelle74

It's all down to insurance. Legally a hairdresser can cut male hair, but a barber can't cut females

I call bs. Insurance is used as an excuse to a lot of things without it being true.
Happy to be corrected if it truly is the case of law/insurance but couldn't find anyhting with a quick Google search.

[Rewis]

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

wow that's some sexist bullshit if ever I heard it. I highly doubt insurance is based around "women are shrill and kick off, men are laid back and cool"

Of course their insurance won't actually specify that, but I think that might be the personal reasoning of a lot of them. Sexism doesn't apply to acknowledging observed clear-as-day general differences between the sexes. If that were true, everybody on Baby Names specifically asking for suggestions for a girl's or boy's name would be being sexist, as you could 'call out' anybody ruling out calling their DD William or their DS Jessica.

Do you really, genuinely believe that, on average, men care just as much about their hair as women do? Have you ever heard a man say (kindly/non-bantering) to his male friend "Ooh, I like your haircut - that style really suits you" and then proceed to discuss it in depth? Do you reckon Pistonheads has a busy Style & Beauty section full of men asking what hairstyles other men think would suit them?

Funnily enough, Buzzfeed (not exactly a scientific source) did a video about male hair envy. It seems to be the thing that men are jealous of each other. Reddit is also full of this discussion. Not sure if there are scientific studies.. Also getting bald is the biggest physical appearance related fear men have and that's why supplements for youn-ish men is a big deal.

Obviously I can't give scientific proof but looking around my social circle, men have more complex hair cuts than women. They have different lengths, shaved around, little stripes on the side where as most women have a long hair without layers. I'd say men care about their hair a lot. Ita just socially not so acceptable for men to praise other men and talk about this.

[Atalantea]

@Tessabelle74

It's all down to insurance. Legally a hairdresser can cut male hair, but a barber can't cut females

source?