To think it's ridiculous that they wouldn't cut my DD's hair?

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

Took my kids (DD who is 8 and DS who is 5) to a new barbers down the road today for haircuts. I'd booked in 2 kids haircuts on their website, but when I got there I was told "We can only cut your sons hair as we don't do girl's hair". I said I only wanted a trim round the bottom of it, half an inch, really simple haircut and was told no.

The things is, my kids have the same hairstyle!! Both have shoulder length bobs, except DS has a fringe and DD doesn't. They cut DS's hair no problem and I sat wondering what it was about my DD's biology that made them unable to cut her hair in the same way as my son's.

AIBU to think this is quite ridiculous? Unless there's some genuinely good reason to do with the material difference between male hair and female hair? It reminds me of a colleague who once came back to the staff room ranting after getting her (very short, like a Sue Perkins hair cut) hair cut because although it was the exact same trim as the bloke in the chair next to her except he paid £8 and she paid £21!

[Londontown12]

@EmeraldShamrock no worries !
I do get annoyed when people make a fuss and also why people question the costs of cutting children’s hair ! It’s actually harder and takes way more time to cut or trim children’s hair they just don’t sit still or keep their heads in correct positions 😂

[Sunnyoh]

www.nhbf.co.uk/news-and-blogs/blog/cut-out-inequality-at-your-barbershop/

Everyone saying they had a right to refuse they broke the law

‘Are there any exceptions that apply to my barbershop?

There are no exceptions to ‘direct sex discrimination’ which is always unlawful.

The services you offer must therefore be available to everyone, regardless of gender.

Don’t forget – the law applies to free services as well as services you charge for. For example, models given free cuts are still protected by discrimination law.

Note that you cannot be expected to offer a service to a woman that you do not offer to men, for example, wedding updos or colouring services. If these are services you do not provide, then refusing to offer them to female customers would not be direct discrimination. ‘

[Taswama]

Our barber is a trained hairdresser as well. He cuts DS's hair and has offered to do mine.

[Rewis]

Some countries have made it illegal to charge different amounts based on gender. So hairdressers had to change pricing either based on length/time/complexity. Obviously this doesn't solve the problem of refusing a hair cut but at least women don't pay more than men in the same place.

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

Thank you @Hairobsessed123 that's really helpful to hear from a hairdresser!

I asked earlier but will again - I used to go out with a (sexy AF why did I dump him) biker who had hair a bit like this (but frizzier) would you colour and style this for a man?

[soapboxqueen]

I'm really intrigued by this.

If Betty and Dan want exactly the same haircut (let's say all hair shaved off) , what is the legal justification for refusing Betty?

And, moreover, what is the physical justification? What is different about Betty's hair?

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

@worriedatthemoment

Why do people have to cause a big deal about everything these days , just take your dd to a hairdresser is it really that big a deal.
People are always looming for issues , of course you can raise a complaint and get the barbers on trouble if you wish because they haven't just been closed down for months and lost enough already
But maybe the haircut isn't exactly the same and your dd has a slightly different style to them

I hardly "caused a big deal" I just said she wanted a simple trim. Same as my son.

And I'm not going to complain when did I say I would? So don't make things up. And it's a brand new barbers - maybe read the OP?

[Sally872]

I would probably expect to use hairdresser rather than barber for both haircuts. To me barber normally involves clippers, for a longer style I would think hairdresser.

[Londontown12]

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop
Yes I deffo would because I’d be qualified to do it I used to perm gents long hair 🤣

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

Appreciate you say they have the same haircut but maybe half way through you start asking for a bigger cut or layers etc



But I could just as easily do that for a boy?

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

@Hairobsessed123 can't beat a Bon Jovi man's long perm 😂😂

[SimonJT]

Ite stupid, my cousin had a skin fade and she struggled to find a barber, now she has moved abroad and hasn’t been turned away from a barber yet.

Its sexist, pure and simple.

[AColdDuncanGoodhew]

I didn’t realise they done long hair at all at the barbers, I thought it was all clippers so i’d have taken my son and daughter to a hairdressers if they had long hair that needed a trim.

Learn something new everyday!

[WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll]

but I still don't understand how insurance would be based on gender. If I went into my son's barber and asked for EXACTLY the same hairstyle as my son, would that be okay? Or not, because I'm a woman? I just don't understand

Like it or not, I think a large part of it is the perceived risk if they don't give the customer exactly what they're wanting and the aftermath. Most men notice that their hair's getting a bit long and go to the barber and ask for 'a haircut'. The majority of them won't really care if it it wasn't the cut they'd spent ages deciding on - as most of them probably didn't spend any/much time thinking about what they wanted in the first place.

Not all, but many, many women attach so much importance to their hair and want it exactly as they've very carefully planned it - and will often complain, get upset, might demand compensation and leave terrible reviews or start threads on MN if they don't walk out feeling special and pampered.

To put it bluntly, barbers probably see it as the equivalent of running a chic French bistro vs a motorway truckstop - even though the basic purpose of both is to serve food, the former's customers will usually be looking for a pleasant all-round experience in an ambient setting with all the special little touches; the latter will normally be happy if they leave feeling full.

Of course, plenty of women aren't that bothered about their hair and plenty of men are, but on balance, there's a very distinctive sex divide.

[Atalantea]

@ladywithnomanors

I personally wouldn’t take my Dd’s to a barbers for a haircut. Barbers cut men’s hair.

Barbers cut hair - you dont need a penis to have your hair cut

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll wow that's some sexist bullshit if ever I heard it. I highly doubt insurance is based around "women are shrill and kick off, men are laid back and cool"

[LavendulaAngustifolia]

I (woman) have been to the barbers many times. I had a short fade pixie for many years tranlated to a short back and sides. In fact it was my actual hairdresser that said bloke next door in their adjoining barbers would do a better job so they booked me in with him and I kept going back.

[Mustreadabook]

You should have claimed she was a boy. I don’t think they could check!!

[Thatisnotwhatisaid]

Ridiculous. Just tell them she’s a boy in future.

[phoenixrosehere]

I didn’t realise they done long hair at all at the barbers, I thought it was all clippers so i’d have taken my son and daughter to a hairdressers if they had long hair that needed a trim.

Both my boys have long, curly hair and they use scissors when we’ve taken them to the barbershop. Unless we want a particular style (want a lot of hair taken off), they usually use scissors.

[Cymbidium69]

Nothing to do with insurance. They are covered exactly the same regarding haicuts and styling.

[WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll]

wow that's some sexist bullshit if ever I heard it. I highly doubt insurance is based around "women are shrill and kick off, men are laid back and cool"

Of course their insurance won't actually specify that, but I think that might be the personal reasoning of a lot of them. Sexism doesn't apply to acknowledging observed clear-as-day general differences between the sexes. If that were true, everybody on Baby Names specifically asking for suggestions for a girl's or boy's name would be being sexist, as you could 'call out' anybody ruling out calling their DD William or their DS Jessica.

Do you really, genuinely believe that, on average, men care just as much about their hair as women do? Have you ever heard a man say (kindly/non-bantering) to his male friend "Ooh, I like your haircut - that style really suits you" and then proceed to discuss it in depth? Do you reckon Pistonheads has a busy Style & Beauty section full of men asking what hairstyles other men think would suit them?

[NotFrozen]

OP I had exactly the same experience a couple of years ago and posted about it on mumsnet. The overwhelming verdict on mumsnet was that I was unreasonable for asking a barber to cut female hair, regardless of the style! I had some really rude remarks and was told to respect barbers as ‘male spaces’. Utterly weird. It’s nice to see that you’re getting more polite messages than I had

[Jumpers268]

@Cymbidium69

Nothing to do with insurance. They are covered exactly the same regarding haicuts and styling.

That's really helpful! I did think it would be strange that an insurance policy would say "you can't cut women's hair". OP it's a really interesting post, nothing to do with making a fuss or complaining, simply about sex discrimination.