To think it's ridiculous that they wouldn't cut my DD's hair?

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

Took my kids (DD who is 8 and DS who is 5) to a new barbers down the road today for haircuts. I'd booked in 2 kids haircuts on their website, but when I got there I was told "We can only cut your sons hair as we don't do girl's hair". I said I only wanted a trim round the bottom of it, half an inch, really simple haircut and was told no.

The things is, my kids have the same hairstyle!! Both have shoulder length bobs, except DS has a fringe and DD doesn't. They cut DS's hair no problem and I sat wondering what it was about my DD's biology that made them unable to cut her hair in the same way as my son's.

AIBU to think this is quite ridiculous? Unless there's some genuinely good reason to do with the material difference between male hair and female hair? It reminds me of a colleague who once came back to the staff room ranting after getting her (very short, like a Sue Perkins hair cut) hair cut because although it was the exact same trim as the bloke in the chair next to her except he paid £8 and she paid £21!

[Foxglovesandlilacs]

If the barber wanted to cut girls hair he would’ve opened a hairdressers not a barbers. Ffs some people just go around looking for things to moan about.

[WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll]

That's interesting, Rewis - maybe I'm just behind the times or move in the 'wrong' circles!

I suppose makeup for men is now a thing - and a lot of young men are very fashion conscious, even if it is more trainers or jackets; so maybe things are converging a lot more now.

That said, I always got the impression that traditional barber's shops are/were a no-frills cheap service for people who want a very simple unfussy, functional short haircut - effectively like sheep shearing but for people! - and the vast majority of people who fall into that category would be men; but that doesn't necessarily mean that they'd be willing/able to serve men with long hair or those that wanted a more involved style.

[Pyewackect]

I've heard of men-only barber shops, but are there any salons that refuse to cut men's hair?

The place where I get my hair done won't cut men's hair either. My husband and son use a pukka barbers, with the red and white whirly thing outside, and you won't find many women in there either. Not unless she can talk utter bollocks about football, golf or cricket.

[WorkplaceLlama]

I'm really surprised at a time when gender identity is at the forefront of politics that anyone would risk even asking if one is a female and one male, let alone refusing on such terms.

Barbers are not 'safe' spaces or any other protected sex category space. I'd be really interested to read any evidence that proves insurance is based on sex (or would it be gender?) for haircuts.

[Tessabelle74]

@atalantea my neice is a barber with her own shop. She's also a qualified hairdresser and the difference in training is quite remarkable. The hairdressing course was 2 years, the barber less than 1

[poppycat10]

I'd be really interested to read any evidence that proves insurance is based on sex (or would it be gender?) for haircuts

Me too.

It does seem ridiculous that they'll cut a boy's long hair but not a girl's short hair. Maybe not so much with older girls or women, but what's the difference between a 4 year old boy's hair and a 4 year old girl's hair.

[PoppyFleur]

My father ran several hair salons and a barbers shop. The landlord for the barbers also had a hair salon in the same village and had a non compete clause in the barber shop lease stating that the barbers could only provide traditional services to male customers. No colouring/perms/highlights and no female customers permitted. However this was in the 1990’s, I don’t know if such gender based rules would be permitted now.

[JaninaDuszejko]

Equality law means that when providing goods and services a business must not discriminate against anyone on the grounds of gender. This also applies not only to male or female clients but also to individuals who have changed from one sex to another or who are transitioning.

Just to clarify this. The equality act lists sex and gender reassignment as different features that are protected in different ways. The most obvious being XX people (women and transmen) need maternity protection whereas XY people (men and transwomen) don't. But there are other situations where transmen and transwomen need protecting because of their trans status.

[Beamur]

It is permissible to offer different services for women and men (segregation by sex, not gender) but there has to be a reason for doing so. Or else it could be discrimination.
In this case it might be because of insurance or because the person cutting the hair doesn't feel qualified - but it would be down to either this being demonstrated, or someone taking them to court.

[Iluvfriends]

A family member is a hairdresser and would not cut my ds hair as she is "not trained in cutting mens or boys hair". I thought men and boys would be simple compared to females hair

[Feelinghothothottoday]

His lease may say he can’t cut girls and women’s hair. Just take her to a hairdressers.

[melj1213]

I would compare it to getting your driving licence- if you learn, and take your test, in an automatic car then you can only drive an automatic but if you learn and take your test in a manual car then you can then drive both a manual and an automatic.

Barbers are generally only trained in male cuts/styles etc (unless they undertake extra training) so they can only perform, and be insured for, those services on males. Hairdressers will generally cover what would be barbers "extra training" as part of their basic training in haircutting and female cuts/styles, so they are more likely to be covered to do both.

[Pyewackect]

Equality law means that when providing goods and services a business must not discriminate against anyone on the grounds of gender. This also applies not only to male or female clients but also to individuals who have changed from one sex to another or who are transitioning.

That may be so on but you wouldn't want to get your hair do at the barbers where my menfolk go, not unless you were joining the Royal Marines or auditoning for a Boy Band.

Useful if your moutash was getting too visible, they could sort that for you. But a cut, dry and colour would resemble Ziggy Stardust !. Get you some profile on your next Zoom call though.

[jwpetal]

We had the same issue but the barber relented. They were afraid that I would react to the haircut as somehow my dd hair mor complicated then my ds. She wanted a straight trim. He wanted to have hair done after lockdown and no cut for 5 months. The barber saw my logic in the end.
It is sexism.

[thenovice]

Could it be that they normal charge £5 for a boy's haircut and £30 for a girl's, but it would have been hard to justify when they were both so similar?

[Tigger1895]

As ridiculous as it may be, barbers train for 6 weeks and hairdressers 4 years.

[nicegirl73]

I have three kids and my youngest is a girl but she has basically been a younger brother most her life and always had boys cuts but we have encountered barbers who refused to cut her hair. Thankfully there are great barbers out there who do. It’s madness and stupid and pointless

[ChampagneCharley]

I used to have my DD's long hair cut at the barbers when doing my DS's. When we got chance to a decent hairdresser she showed us what a complete mess they had made of it over the years. It was lopsided and not level. It took a couple of years before it managed to even it out. I now pay the extra so she has it done properly.

[SoupDragon]

it’s like tesco being asked to colour hair

Lololol... it really isn't.

Do people really think that giving a haircut to a girl is soooo much more difficult than giving an identical haircut to a boy?

[Runnerduck34]

sounds like a bit of a jobsworth but tbf I would not have taken my dd to a barber, I took dc to a hairdresser that I know would be happy to cut both my dds and ds's hair so i think you need to go to a hairdressers in future

[EveryDayIsADuvetDay]

odder than charging 50% more for cutting a woman's hair than a mans.

[tiramisualwaystiramisu]

The barbers I take my DC to say they do basic haircuts. They offered to give DD a trim when I took DS last week. One of the barbers isn't trained but the one who did DD's hair said he used to work in a hairdresser and do a lot of kids cuts. Charged me exactly the same and did a good job on both of them. As the salon I used to take them to now refuses to take under 11s, am happy to keep taking DD for as long as they are happy to have her.

[icelollycraving]

I could not get worked up about this at all.

[fruitpastille]

I really don't think your average barber cares much about gender politics.

[bemusedmoose]

that is a rubbish sexist barber! Personally i wouldnt bother going there again - i can get my hair done at my local barbers! But then i dont want it all styled and girlie. Absolutely no reason they couldnt do your daughters hair other than she's a girl.