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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a Rape Crisis centre should not have a transwoman CEO?

999 replies

ArabellaScott · 03/05/2021 16:18

Mridhul Wadhwa has just been appointed CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis. The job was advertised as for women only. Mridhul is a transwoman (born male) without a Gender Recognition Certificate.

AIBU to think that women survivors of rape and sexual violence should be able to have a female only space?

theedinburghreporter.co.uk/2021/05/new-boss-for-edinburgh-rape-crisis-centre/

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Original poster
ArabellaScott · 03/05/2021 20:18

@PrelovedWithValue

Most rape crisis centres in Scotland (I can't comment about elsewhere, as I don't know) deal with victims of sexual assault and violence, regardless of gender. Most aren't women-only spaces.

Transgender women are more likely to suffer sexual violence than any other group that I'm aware of.

But the post was specifically restricted to women. Presumably there was a good reason for this; you can't invoke the exceptions in law without a good reason.

I agree that transwomen deserve support if they've suffered sexual violence. Karen Ingala Smith wrote about this recently - however the support they are likely to need is very different to that which women need.

'Transgender women are more likely to suffer sexual violence than any other group that I'm aware of.' - is this true?

'... childhood sexual abuse, prevalence is not equal or greater for males who identify as transgender than it is for females' (from K Ingala-Smith's blog) - I don't have stats for sexual violence figures for transgender women, though, could you point me to them?

kareningalasmith.com/2021/04/21/counting-dead-trans-people/

OP posts:
HannaHat · 03/05/2021 20:18

Sorry PrelovedWithValue, I don’t believe that.

RedcurrantPuff · 03/05/2021 20:18

@BetterKateThanNever

What a funny thread. So many uninformed people spouting nonsense so proudly, like a toddler talking about dragons and mermaids, only less endearing.
Says the person trying to tell us rape can be committed without a penis
Leafstamp · 03/05/2021 20:19

Kate you must be having us on!

lifeturnsonadime · 03/05/2021 20:19

i do know how they're made, I wish your parents didn't though.
Now personal insults! you really are the gift that keeps on giving.

DragonMuff · 03/05/2021 20:19

I'm very sorry you experienced that. I'm sure if you felt uncomfortable speaking to or being examined by a counsellor you'd be offered another, or offered a chaperone. When I went through counselling after my abuse as a child, I asked for a different counsellor

@BetterKateThanNever I’m sorry for what happened to you as a child Flowers (and you phyllis)

Could you therefore just confirm based on your response to PhyllisCrane that you would not consider it transphobic for a victim of abuse or assault to request a natal woman rather than a trans woman to be her counsellor?

Original poster
ArabellaScott · 03/05/2021 20:20

Kate, I appreciate you giving your views, but there's no need to be rude. It doesn't really help anyone, does it?

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 03/05/2021 20:20

Another person here who would like @PrelovedWithValue to provide some evidence for the claim that trans women experience higher levels of sexual violence than women.

I can state with facts that according to the MOJ nearly 50% of trans women have a record for sexual violence vs 19% of the rest of the male prisoner population, so we know that this subset of males is at least as dangerous as other males.

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 03/05/2021 20:21

I'm very sorry you experienced that. I'm sure if you felt uncomfortable speaking to or being examined by a counsellor you'd be offered another, or offered a chaperone. When I went through counselling after my abuse as a child, I asked for a different counsellor.

Well yes. But if TWAW and TWAF then how can I guarantee that the counsellor I am given is an actual biological natal female?

5zeds · 03/05/2021 20:21

Transgender women are more likely to suffer sexual violence than any other group that I'm aware of. really?Shock are you not aware of ANY group that are more likely to experience sexual violence???

Skatastic · 03/05/2021 20:23

It also makes me worried that women are even more unlikely to seek help when they have been raped or sexually assaulted. You go to a SARC and are advised to have some swabs done but have to worry that a biological male is going the examination?

Congressdingo · 03/05/2021 20:24

@Mysterian

"There's no transphobia on Mumsnet" they say.

"What rights do trans people not already have?" they say.

This thread has lots of people saying that somebody shouldn't get a job because they are trans. This is why trans rights activism is needed.

Don't care if this person is trans or not. Care that the advert asked only women to apply for good reasons, yet that has been cast aside for no good reason. If it was open to all then it should be, if not then only a woman should have been appointed. Make a rule, stick to it.
BetterKateThanNever · 03/05/2021 20:24

Well if you can't 'tell' that your counsellor is transgender, what's the issue?

It's completely transphobic to ask for a different counsellor because they're trans, but if it's because they appear to be male to you, or are making you uncomfortable, you can still request someone else. You can request a different counsellor for any reason, whether it's kind or not.

BetterKateThanNever · 03/05/2021 20:25

@lifeturnsonadime

i do know how they're made, I wish your parents didn't though. Now personal insults! you really are the gift that keeps on giving.
Ah finally, some truth! Some fact!
Definately · 03/05/2021 20:26

@BetterKateThanNever

What a funny thread. So many uninformed people spouting nonsense so proudly, like a toddler talking about dragons and mermaids, only less endearing.
The irony of this Grin
5zeds · 03/05/2021 20:27

It's completely transphobic to ask for a different counsellor because they're trans surely (understandably) male phobic?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 03/05/2021 20:27

It also makes me worried that women are even more unlikely to seek help when they have been raped or sexually assaulted. You go to a SARC and are advised to have some swabs done but have to worry that a biological male is going the examination?

Well in Scotland they amended the Forensic Services law to try to ensure that a female rape victim wouldn't have to be examined by a male person and Wadhwa didn't like it so much that Wadhwa flounced from the SNP when they unexpectedly voted for the amendment.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 03/05/2021 20:28

The irony of this

I know Grin as I pointed out, it's projection. Accusations are admissions.

lifeturnsonadime · 03/05/2021 20:29

i"m interested in this idea that transwomen, as a group, experience more sexual violence than any other group.

Where is the evidence of this?

There is plenty of evidence that women, as a group, experience sexual assault at an alarmingly high rate. www.victimfocus.org.uk/womens_experiences_violence_abuse_study

99.7 % of women who responded to a recent survey had experienced sexual violence.

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 03/05/2021 20:29

So let's say I go for rape counselling now , years after the event. (Never say never)
I know my counsellor is a trans woman and therefore I feel uncomfortable.
So I contact the counselling organisers and say... "I'm really sorry but I'm not comfortable with that counsellor. Can I have a female one please".
They say "well she is female"
Now what? I've got a TERF label, despite not being a terf. I just want a female (as as biological natal female) counsellor in this instance.

This hypothetical person could be a brilliant counsellor. But I don't feel comfortable with them. That's not transphobic.

Skatastic · 03/05/2021 20:29

@Ereshkigalangcleg Wadhwa seems absolutely perfect for the job of protecting raped and sexually assaulted women then! Brilliant.

lifeturnsonadime · 03/05/2021 20:30

I'm ignoring now. I think it's trolling.

Original poster
ArabellaScott · 03/05/2021 20:30

@BetterKateThanNever

Well if you can't 'tell' that your counsellor is transgender, what's the issue?

It's completely transphobic to ask for a different counsellor because they're trans, but if it's because they appear to be male to you, or are making you uncomfortable, you can still request someone else. You can request a different counsellor for any reason, whether it's kind or not.

The issue is that the Rape Crisis centre specifically advertised for a woman, according to the law, but have taken on a transwoman.

The vast majority of women in this situation request and prefer a woman - and by 'woman', they mean 'female', a person who is not male bodied.

So no, it's not 'transphobic'.

To be clear, if someone has any issue with any counsellor they can and should request someone else, because a rape survivor in crisis is the person who is prioritised here, not the counsellor.

OP posts:
Roboticcarrot · 03/05/2021 20:32

Transgender women are more likely to suffer sexual violence than any other group that I'm aware of

Interested to see the stats that back this up. Guessing there aren't any so might be waiting a while though.

TalkingtoLangClegintheDark · 03/05/2021 20:32

Transgender women are more likely to suffer sexual violence than any other group that I'm aware of.

More made up shit.

Female people are more likely to suffer sexual violence than male people. Full stop.

Stop the lies, FFS.