To think 'celebrating your curves' is becoming a worrying trend?

[Freesunglasses]

So many of my overweight 'friends' on facebook are joining in the whole "I'm embracing my curves and loving this body, every inch"
The thing is they are Obese, not use a little overyweight but really fat. The more people see and read things like this the more it will become normalised.

Worrying times ahead I think. We're going to be a very fat country in the not too distant future.
I know it's hard to lose weight. I know lockdown has made lots put weight, I'm a little overweight myself but I will never say I'm happy with it because I'm not! I like being thin, I want to be thin.

For the love of God stop normalising and celebrating obesity.

But noone ever celebrsted being too thin that I know of. Noone says 'look at my skelatol frame, isn't it gorgeous'

Um. Vast amounts of society heaps praise on women being thin, and don't really give a toss if the reason for the slimness/ thinness is the result of natural body shape, or eating well and exercising - or an eating disorder.

Slenderness is still validated and approved of and accepted unquestioningly in almost all cases.

When people vocalise remarks (either worry, or insults) about how thin someone is as a result of their eating disorder it's usually very late in the game - that train left the station a long time ago.

It's not uncommon for those same people to have been admiringly telling the person how great they look, when they first began to lose weight, when things first started to go wrong.

And you're right you don't have to be slim to be healthy or fit.

Oh great yet another post telling fat people how they should be ashamed and miserable.

I think the idea is to not beat themselves up over people like you.

Bigger people know they are big, like slim people know they are slim. I don’t think anyone in this day and age is oblivious to the health implications of both being too big or too thin.

I’d rather have big friends who were happy than big friends who were sad. Wouldn’t you?

We’re sleepwalking into a massive diabetes health crisis. If we had a ward specifically dedicated to smokers or alcoholics there would be uproar. Our diabetic foot ward costs a bloody fortune to run, the associated clinics, operations, outpatient activity and doctors and nurses who run it is massive. The overwhelming majority have type 2 diabetes - lifestyle diabetes. Costs the NHS a bloody packet.

Do your 'friends' know what you really think about them?

Bet you've never raised this with them directly.

Curvy is just bust-waist-hip-height measurement. It's been mistakenly interpreted as it has to mean larger. Curvier could be interpreted as being larger.

I dislike women getting criticised for their weight/body structure, why not focus on their health?

Why are so many things on MN seen as either/or choices between two extremes?
Why are people jumping to the conclusion that the only alternative to promoting and encouraging obesity is overweight people hiding away in self loathing?
There is no reason why someone cant dress nicely, make the most of their look, pose for happy smiling photos and enjoy life without having to comment on their own size. You can live a full life, going out having fun etc while also acknowledging that being significantly overweight is unhealthy, will eventually affect your health/cause pain and if big enough limit how you can enjoy somethings.
I have a very overweight friend, to the point it really affects her fitness and lots of things I take for granted are a huge effort for her. I often find myself thinking of her when Im playing with my DC and realise its an activity that she just wouldn't be able to do. I am not shaming her or dont hate her or think she should hide away but the fact is her weight negativity affects and limits her lifestyle choices. Weight is not all about looks, or trying to put people down. There are real consequences to being very heavy, many of which dont start to show until you are getting into late 30s early 40s. I cant see how telling people excess weight is fine because you can still look sexy is good message. Of course you can look sexy but is that your only aim in life.
The trouble with these conversations is there is so much emotion involed and words like overweight, fat and obese are used to cover a whole spectrum from a few extra pouds with a bit of a muffin top to extremely large individuals who are over double the recommended weight.

I like being thin, I want to be thin.

Your friends are and like to be curvy, what's the difference?

It’s not about celebrating anything, it’s about accepting yourself as you are, fat, thin and everything in between. You can accept yourself AND work at losing weight if that whst you want. Self loathing is how you end up obese or anorexic to begin with.

I want to feel strong and full of energy, to be healthy and enjoy my body. To take pleasure in exercise and enjoy my food. To wear makeup when I want and not when I don't, and wear clothes that make me feel both comfortable and fabulous. I want to be kinder, more compassionate, brave, to live wholeheartedly, to explore the world and to never stop learning and challenging myself. I want to be a good mother, sister, lover, friend, daughter. To have a full career and a happy home life. The number on the scale (or in a clothes tag) cannot measure all of that. Damn right if I'm 20 stone I'm going to love me big, and if I'm 7 stone I'll love me thin. But I don't take my value from my weight. IMO being thin and being obese are both dangerous for your health and I will always want to have the best for myself and my loved ones for their quantity and quality of life, but I love body acceptance. It takes the shame away, and shame is what causes eating obsession and eating disorders at either end of that weight spectrum. Shame is my enemy, and judgement is one of the most efficient ways of maintaining shame. I would love to see a world with less judgement, less shame, less eating disorders, more joy and vitality regardless of what people weigh.

If someone said I can wave a magic wand and instantly make you a size 10, how many of these happy curvy women would choose to stay at a size 18?

I’m going to guess none of them

I agree and I don’t want to lose my friends early because of obesity related illness. If Covid has taught us anything surely it’s that’s being overweight can lead to devastating consequences

@Hypie type 2 diabetes is exploding yes but it really is not accurate to say it's lifestyle diabetes - it's far more complex than that. Genetics are more involved than was once thought. Epigenetics also play a part.

Recent studies showed in fact that if your history, or your genetic history, includes periods of ongoing hunger and malnutrition you are much more likely to get type 2.

I have had three relatives develop type 2 in middle age who grew up with not much to eat, cycling miles and miles every day.

As a type 1 diabetic myself I really fucking wish we'd all stop the collective gaslighting of people with any kind of diabetes and fund the disease properly - making continuous glucose monitors available on the NHS would save it a TON of money in grim complications down the line.

But that will never happen, because politicians can only see as far as their own nose and next election, so will never fund things with sound long term outlooks.

So instead we'll just continue to blame diabetics (both type 1 and type 2, and I'll throw in prediabetics here too because they will definitely still have the same problems with eating) for all the shit that goes wrong with us, because we obviously don't try hard enough to control it or eat right

Diabetes utterly FUCKS your hunger and satiety hormone balance. The hunger created by swinging blood sugar is an overwhelming brick wall, and I am confident that if anyone who currently has good blood glucose experienced the hunger induced by swingling blood sugar - they would 100% understand why the type 2s end up gaining weight.

I'm fat. I'm working on it, trying to get healthier, there are many factors both physical and psychological against me, but I'm trying. It's gonna take me a long time. So until I am a healthy weight am I supposed to hate myself, hide away, not feel good about myself? Fuck off. I like myself and I am happy in my body, I know I need to be healthier but as far as how I look, hell yes I'll celebrate my curves.

I genuinely don’t give a thought to what my friends weigh. I think a lot of faux concern about weight, career, childcare etc is the insecurity of the person expressing concern. It’s a shitty way of exerting control over someone else...

@SonnyWinds

There's a difference between embracing who you are and endorsing being unhealthy - and I think that's the difference. Being ashamed of your weight and how you look and being unhealthy causes so many more issues than it fixes. When you're obese, and the world tells you that you look bad and that you're worthless because of your weight, all you hear is that you are not worth fighting for. You're not worth struggling through a workout for, you're not worth dieting for, you're not worth becoming healthy because you're worthless. By embracing your obesity, you're not saying it's a good thing - you're just saying it's not what defines you. You can be amazing AND be obese. You can be sexy AND be obese. You can be happy AND be obese. Obesity is not amazing or sexy or happy but obese people can be. It doesn't mean that obese people are healthy or that they're not trying to better themselves - it just means that they still have worth, and that they're acknowledging it.

THANK YOU 👏👏👏

Fwiw, the single only time I have successfully lost weight is when I finally made peace with myself as an obese person. Like fully understood and accepted myself. A year later I was mentally healthier for no longer feeling like a peice of shit that it eventually spilled over and I lost all the weight and found joy in exercise.

Post's like the OPs are so frustrating.

What a shit friend you must be op. I hope your friends come to realise that they could do much better.

@SonnyWinds 👏

@AbsentmindedWoman - type 2 is reversible for a reason. You are correct with the genetics, we all have a genetic threshold whereby our fat levels spill out and start being stored in the liver, affecting the pancreas etc. But there is no denying Type 2 is a lifestyle disease. It has exploded in the last 30 reasons because we have got massively bigger in the last 30 years.

Type 1 diabetes is completely different as you well know. The ratio of type 1/type 2 patients in with serious foot problems and amputations is hugely swayed towards type 2. Type 1 patients have spent years managing their condition, often from childhood. Type 2 people got there by not managing their health, it follows they then don’t care for their feet properly and end up with all the associated problems. I see it everyday.

I'm currently overweight and have no issue with body positivity for the right reasons but do think celebrating something unhealthy is wrong.

This is really interesting and sad.

Am I allowed to celebrate my disabled, chronically ill body then? Even though it's not healthy?

My body is fucking ace. It works damn hard to keep me alive, and keep going, and I appreciate it, and yes, I love my body.

I, including my body, am not worth less than a healthy person.

I am worth celebrating.

So I will continue to 'celebrate something unhealthy' and no - it isn't wrong of me. That is unwitting ableist bullshit, I'm afraid.

Is there any proof that shaming women helps them to lose weight, and keep it off long-term?
I personally feel more able to exercise and make sensible food choices when I am happy, and when I feel beautiful (when for example I've just had a nice haircut or bought a flattering top). Health is about FAR more than weight, it's also about connection with other people, sleep, relaxation, intimacy, fulfillment etc. Celebrating my curves and what my body can do and feeling confident in my appearance has a lot of health benefits.
Being shamed for my weight makes me feel embarrassed and worthless, and like my body doesn't deserve to be treated well, it makes me less likely to make plans with friends, less likely to seek intimacy with a partner, and actually less likely to lose weight.

@ViolaValentina

No, but there is some evidence that suggests that shaming them makes losing weight less likely, and shame is massively related to eating disorders be that binge eating, bulimia, anorexia, they all have a shame element.

@Hoowhoowho

You said

"the greatest predictor of childhood obesity is parental concern about childhood obesity*"
*
Please could you expand on that? I was overweight from childhood. And have chosen a much healthier path for my DC so far. All very healthy weights and eat good diets.

But this has worried me!

Its not a horrible post, I have a lot of mental trauma from both being obese and having to deal with the loose skin from losing that weight to save my life - my blood pressure was uncontrollably high and I had to have bariatric surgery.
I'd do anything to turn back time to the time when I was comfortable in my body and it worked like it should at the correct weight instead of the pain and suffering of being obese, everything hurt and I've aged so much more than I should have.
My spine is curved now even after the weight loss.
I've never celebrated being fat, it took away my life.